January 26, 2009
Update
Anonyblog has not been forgotten. It is simply resting from a long squawk.
I endeavor to get it up and running again soon. Patience is a virtue.
December 21, 2008
Anonyblog on hold
It seems that some people cannot restrain themselves from causing problems for Anonyblog, it's readers, and me.
Unfortunately I do not have unlimited time to monitor and supervise the site at the moment, so for now, there is no new posting at Anonyblog.
I will attempt to resolve the issues soon. Until then, I apologize for the disruption.
December 19, 2008
Office Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon, in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And, don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ....You didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody????
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gift exchange is allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money, and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party (the days are so short this time of year), or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet. Pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each gender will have their own table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food thus we suggest for those people with blood pressure problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics since the restaurant is unable to supply "no sugar" desserts.
Sorry!
Did I miss anything?
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party
People, people! Nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up ike Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween, or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey, or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up? Please?????????
Also, the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail, sent to your home.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The #*&^@*^Holiday Party
I have no#&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the #&^!@ do I care...? I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and your are dead!!!!!!!!!!!! No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!
Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your @ #$^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now !HA! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die, you hear me!!!!!!!!!!!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
****************************************************
FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Terri
I'm Tired
I'm tired of this shit. I feel like I just want to quit work, stop school, and move out into the mountains. Go to a place where I can just pee in front of my shack with out having to worry that I'm going to get a fine. Maybe I'm just not meant to live the city life.
Maybe I just need a vacation.
December 18, 2008
maybe something annonymous will make this disapear
The past year I've been depressed
when i got my hoax taken out nobody asked how i was
my friends forgot.
when it was a spirit day my t-shirt read nothing.
it was thoughtless
it was meaningless
when i was on a break with that boy
my best friend kissed him...and never told me
when i thought my other friend was on my side
she was double sided tape
when i asked what happened
nobody knew, but nothing changed anyway.
when you drove me off the deep end
it was still all my fault
when you insulted a people and wouldnt let me leave
you broke up with yourself
when i ran away to california
is was the best thing i ever did
when you kissed her
my heart exploded
when i got home
i had a handful of pills
when you came to say goodbye and she was bye your side
i wanted to kill the both of you
when i lost everybody because you had everybody
you refused to get it
when you try to see how im doing today
you're not doing me any favors.
Today. I escape that past. and one day. ill live it down.
You are a Douchebag If....
Previous post was tampered with, so here's the original:
You are a douchebag if...
...you use the word google as a verb.
...you describe a thin panel TV as 'sexy', or want/buy one just so you can hang it on the wall. (Here's a hint: the picture sucks. The image quality of a picture tube TV is much better.)
...you text message on your cellphone while having a conversation with someone next to you.
...you talk on your cellphone inside a public building or workplace for non-emergency personal calls (with a few exceptions). More so if the public place is a restaurant, theater, or library. Even more so if you use the phone during a presentation, speech, live performance, or while checking out in a store.
...you insist on having a song as your cellphone's ringtone, and you insist on turning it up loud while in public. (Hint: it's called vibrate.)
...you are an employer who refers to your employees as "Team Members."
...you are an employer who gives your employees "gold stars" (or something similar) for meeting a goal, etc. (Here's a hint: your employees are not age 5 and in pre-school.)
...you think that thick black rimmed geek glasses are trendy, cool, or make you look smart.
...you use words like freakin, farkin', or stinkin' in place of the word fuckin'. (Here's a hint: you sound like a dork. Either say fuck or don't add any such words.)
...you are a parent who thinks the world should revolve around your kid or kids in general.
...you are a parent who thinks that sending your stupid kid to the best school district will make him/her smart, or that the kid's stupidity is your fault. (Hints: you can't fix retarded. And unless you dropped the kid on his/her head or drank while pregnant, you didn't cause it.)
...you wear slippers or pajamas in public, or wear flip-flops anyplace besides the beach/pool/lockerroom.
...you wear Crocs.
...you earn a comfortable, middle class income, but constantly bitch because you don't make more.
...you are medical professional who wears clothing with children's cartoon characters to work.
...you are a victim (or the family of a victim) of some accident/disaster/crime, and you blame people or things not directly responsible. (Examples: A shooting victim who blames TV. A mugging victim who blames the owners of the parking lot where the mugging occurred. A dog attack victim who thinks the owner of the pet license is a criminal even though said owner followed all leash laws, vaccination laws, and there was no warning as dog was never vicious or mean previously.)
...you are a victim (or family of a victim) of some accident/disaster/crime, and you try to get additional sympathy because it involved your child. (Here's a hint: a child's safety is no more important than an adult's safety.)
How do you break up with someone you live with?
I live with my man anus. I haven't loved it for 2 years. how do you break up with someone you live with?
We have grown apart since we have been together. She wants a plain, boring life. I would like to have a vagina implanted on the inside of my left thigh for Christmas. I think I can bend it that far. See folks here's the problem. There is a new entity on the site. It floods the place with post like this one. It also may be the rather rude entity in the comment section as of late. I'm not willing to give in to that. She loves her corporate job, she has lost her sense of adventure. . I get hell for every little thing I do. I'm sick of being un- happy from the moment I walk in my front door to the moment I leave/get away from her. I know I'm a wimp for not breaking it off earlier. Merry Christmas Michael. Happy Holidays!
His Esteemed Eminence Exellency Kody R Bear
Interracial/Interfaith
I'm a white, Christian. He's brown, Hindu (or, at least, his parents are Hindu, he's "spiritual" but not really "religious"). We are very much in love and have been for many years, but his parents won't accept me. They continuously guilt-trip him and tell him "there is no future with that girl"... tell him he is horrible for ruining the family name, and that they will never ever approve of us being together. And he still plays down our relationship and hides certain things and does everything he can to make them happy and avoid upsetting them. He is so afraid of them. He says ultimately they will not decide who he marries, but it seems like he will NEVER stand up to them. He will ALWAYS try to please them. Even if he did go against their wishes and marry me, I am afraid his loyalty would be split between me and his mommy and daddy. I can't imagine how difficult it is to have an unsupportive family, because mine has been great. But at the same time, I just want him to grow up. Not cut them out of his life, but just... stop letting it control his emotions so much....
:(
I am really lonely today. I have had no one to talk to in a really long time. I just wish my so-called friends would call me back.
a little nothing
being proven wrong time and time again.
never thought i would make it this far.
somehow, i am glad i did.
and crying does not hurt so much these days.
which i suppose is an improvement, anyway.
I still play pokemon.
I'm a 20 year old male, I go to college, I have a job, I I'm intelligent, I'm soon going to a University...
And yet I still play pokemon.
I'm trying to build an incredibly powerful team of lvl 100 water starters throughout the generations (Blastoise, Feraligatr, Swampert, Empoleon, etc.). I can already beat the original elite 4 with my lvl 100 blastoise extremely easily.
I keep checking each day for any news of either the 5th generation of pokemon games, or a remake of Gold/Silver for the Nintendo DS.
I liked the show in its very few first seasons, but it's become very bland and childish recently.
Also, what level must Ash's pikachu be at, 1000? And it got beat by a MAGIKARP recently. what the hell.
But you know what?
I'm not ever planning to stop playing the video games.
Of course, I play respectfully and at the correct times, but I don't ever plan to stop.
I'm planning on finding a girl my age who likes pokemon instead.