Anonyblog

http://www.pendulum.org/

I hate my life. Some specific reasons, but mostly Ive hated my life for the past 20 years. I live with my boyfriend for 2 years now... Something inside of me has been telling me to move back in to my moms house, I dont want to hurt him but I have to go. I dont have a job... since like January- almost 4 months. My father is in the process of getting on the heart transplant list which is just a fucking time game. He's my best friend, one of the only people that make me smile, now I have to wait for G-d to either give him a new heart or take him home. If he goes, I want to go too.

Basically my story sounds like yours. Sometimes I'm ok, but like today, I get soooo depressed and just cry to G-d to kill me. Why am I here anyways? to suffer, to struggle? I'm not even sure what I want to be. Im going to try to go to school to be a paramedic, will I succeed or fail? Who the fuck knows.

Life isn´t perfect for anyone.Even the people you think have everything going for them are sad of something.as long as people have emotions they will suffer from something.
I have lived my youth with my alcoholic mother who said to me "I just want you to grow up so you´ll get out of my house".And when I was 5 or so I said to her that I love her and she answered "I don´t believe in love, so no I dont love you." There were times when she held an arrowgun and pointed at me-I though I would die.She tried to strangle me to death.when I was 4 she pulled my hair so bad that lot of it staid in her hand.She took all my money that I had earned,I almost never had money from her.She was nasty to my friends and told them lies about me.
And my father never wanted me after my mother didn´t let him take me.My brothers don´t want anything to do with me.I don´t know anyone who would fully understand me.There is no-one who loves me.Couple days ago I had an audition to a theatre school and I though if I get in my life could finally be better...but in the audition when it was time to interview me they asked "why this school?" I told them the truth "because I thought that if this school made my favourite actor good maybe I would have skills too" all of them laughted at my face.I feel unwanted,unloved, Alone.

I feel all of you, here lately i have hated my life so much that i never wanted to do drugs so bad to maybe take my mind off what was taking place. Im 20 years old and have nothing to show for it most of the time I ponder alone and try to figure out what in the hell is my point in life i havent done anything good for me or noone else, whats the point in taking up good space and oxygen when theres people out there that have a purpose and a will to live for. I sit and wonder does anyone really like me or am i just lying to myself, if i was to die today who would be at my funeral, if they were there would they shed a tear or tell there neighbor its about time hes outa my hair. I cant understand the people who would bend over backwards for someone has such horrible life or has the worst luck, is it a test or im i just kidding myself? I look at my dogs and wonder, how much do they really love me, what if i werent here, would they miss me, or would i be just a figment of there imagination? And its right, the people who make you feel worst "Say" they love u the most. why is that, why cant it be the other way around. Its always in the back of my mind.....WHAT IF, or WHY NOT. I cant explain it but i hate my life most of time than i feel i need it......

Sometimes I wonder why my life is so horrible. I guess some people have it worse though. Personally I think the reason our lives are so horrible is because everyone is horrible. Like we all affect each other for the worse, because no matter how much you trust or love someone, all they really care about is themselves, so eventually they tear you down into shreds. No one grows up innocent any more, it's stolen away from us. Love and romance don't realy exist outside of books and movies, the days of chivelry never existed, and honor is standing up for the idea of peace while we set the wheels of war into motion. You may think you know someone, you may have known them for your entire life, but you would be supprised at how easily they would throw you away. They will turn on you just for the chance at getting something for themselves. But maybe it wouldn't surprise you at all. Maybe you are one of the few whose caught on. Maybe we're not normal, but at least we have the security of knowing there are plenty more where we came from. Not a very consoling thought though. Dust

Yeah.. You know life can suck... But it gets better. Occasionally one finds himself parylized staring in the abyss of shattered dreams. The next time this happens to you... I want you to run! I want you to go outside and run like a fucking hyena! Push away those fears, and feelings of plunging into cold water that we feel when our souls seem to be giving away. And one last thing, never let them win. Whoever they are.. you know your better than them. Never let them win.

I hate myself, I really do! I've been hurting myself for about two years now and now I'm not allowed to do it anymore. Fuck off, it's my body and I can do what I want with it! If I want to hurt myself, then let me. If I want to die, then let me. If all I want is eternal rest, then don't come here and say you love me - it doesn't make it better anyway!
I've been through alot that I just really want to forget, but I hear about it all the damn time. I fucking hate myself!
Sometimes I wonder if there is a God, since some people are having it TERRIBLE.

When I was like six, people at school started teasing me. They kept it going for like seven years, and I also got ..um.. how do I say it (I hate that word, *****).. Three times. Anyway, I've been through alot and I just want to forget it.
But I really don't think I can forget things before I die, so the earlier the better...

I just want to DIE, won't somebody release me?!

I hate my life! My husband and I just don't seem to click anymore. All he thinks about is flying his damn airplane.
I don't understand why people don't like me. As soon as they get to know me, they just don't. I must be some horrible person. I've never had a friend who didn't want something from me and that was the only reason why they hung around me.
I'm lonely and need a real friend. Won't somebody be my friend?

umm my life is worse than all of yours. im only 12 nd i already fucking hate my life. my family hates me..my frendz treat me like shit..i have no true friends.

i dont know why im so depressed. i just find myself sometimes looking into space think "my life is shit". i hide my depresion from my parents cause i dont want them to worry, and my mum would just shout at me anyway, but i sometime just want my life to end and start crying for no reason.
if i have to stay on this god forsaken planet then i want to do what i want, if i want to hurt myself then why cant i. no one cares about me so why not. my friend was smart and tryed to kill herself but people stop her. they are the ones i hate, they believe they have the right to stop you being happy. why, though, why?

Everyone's life sucks to some degree. Take mine for example. I'm 19 years old, and I have one friend who I hate 60% of the time, but is ok the rest. I have no social life because I work 50+ hours a week, and sleep the rest. I work with an old "friend", but he's always b-tching and complaining about stupid stuff (like I don't clean my work area enough), and he'll go on for HOURS. My only two real friends died this fall. My older brother Nate, who was 20, died of a heroin overdose on September 16, 2003. That was bad, but then my brother Dan, who was 16 (three weeks from being 17), died on November 29 2003 from injuries sustained in a drunk driving accident on the 24th. Now my father, who has wanted nothing to do with me or my brother Dan (we have the same parents, Nate was a half brother), is taking my mother to court to be his legal consultant. He's doing this so he can file a "wrongful death" suit against the driver's family to get money. He has come out and told us this. I think about death everyday, but I'm atheist. I don't believe in bullsh-t like god and heaven. My two brothers are dead, and I'll never see them again, because I don't believe in fairy tale afterlife. I see that some of you do, but I won't be there to say "I told you so" when you die and never wake up. My life is rotten, and continues to get worse with each passing day. I go on, though, because I'm not about to commit suicide. I'm going to suck every last piece of misery out of this life, because this is all there is. I'm going to go out and do unspeakable things to others, as well. Everyone should have a miserable life, and I intend to give it to those I feel don't have enough. You may say "They don't deserve that", but you'll learn as I have; deserve has got NOTHING to do with it. So quit whining about how your boyfriends, girlfriends, or whatever. Those aren't problems, they're experiences. If you want a real reason to hate your life, post your name and address and I'll help you out. As you can see I'm slightly deranged, maybe insane, but I'm different. I enjoy pain and suffering now, because it's all I have. I have tortured many things, and killed without reason or mercy. This is life. Life without pain isn't real, so ask yourself what really matters to you. Think long and hard, because things change, and life will make you beg for death. Have a nice life.

hey bill just read your statment i totally agree with you well heres my email adress sexy_sista6924 @hotmail.com. e mail me okay by the way im 17 female uk

hey bill just read your statment i totally agree with you well heres my email adress sexy_sista6924 @hotmail.com. e mail me okay by the way im 17 female uk

I hate mylife too, but its not going to get me, thats about the only thing you can control, and there is no way they can keep me down. Stability, here i come! x

i fucking hate my life and want to die, it is so fucking pointless. i feel like a freak in my own home. its great when you get molested by a family member you know, and for fives years not tell anyone and then tell a few great best friends and then tell your parents and have them bitch at your constantly and only worry about your fucking school work. then get put on and off different anti-depressants which none of them work by the way, and they tell you that your not suppose to feel hopeless? and why is this? because nothing is working right your suppose to feel like everybody loves you and your life is perfect. I GET EVERYTHING NOW!!! wow my eyes are eternally open, life is bliss, i love everyone and i love my life. i hope the whole planet explodes i fucking hate everything.

Yeah, I hate my life. If I didn't think there were way more people suffering more than I could ever imagine, then I'd probably just kill myself. All I want to do is get out of this hell hole I call life. Just want to get away from my family and friends, just so I can be alone. Then I couldn't hurt anyone anymore or have anybody hurt me. But because of my stupidity I'm stuck here on borrowed time, broken promises, and debts I'll never be able to repay. I just wish I didn't have to feel pain & suffering anymore. No matter where I go or what I do, I always see these people w/ extremely sad looks on their faces. What happended to all the smiles? At times I can almost peer into their souls and what I get is sorrow and this unexplainable pain in my stomach -almost to the point I want to puke. There are times when I see people having fun and whatnot, but I wonder if they truely are. I really don't see how people take pleasure in something so temporary, yet so essential to life. Is it real? I'm sure someday I'll leave this place, leave everyone behind to take care of themselves -since they proven quite clearly to me that I make no difference in their lives. So why stay? All I know is I'll never become a wageslave eeking out the rest of my life for a shitty pension plan. I'll die young before I get to the diaper wearing, colostomy bag using, thousands of butt liposuctions days. Goodbye Washington, you bunch of wageslaving narcasistic tweaking pot-head ecstasy/crack addicts -I hate all you fakers and takers, including myself. DIE!! I wish you all the best of luck though, goodbye.

i am depressed pretty much all of the time as my life is going nowhere. i have no job, no girlfriend and no future. i may feel like i want to die but death isnt really an answer to anything how would killing myself help fix anything. i dont have the motivation to sort things out right now but i have the ambition to do anything i want to do. so i may be depressed and cry alot now but i know i can overcome the obstacles in front of me. every problem has a solution and if you believe you can do anything.

Testing

i hate my life, i really do i havbe to work for my farther for free while i have a son and i live at home i want to go to iraq as a savilian buti dont want to give the mother of my son the right to run around with my son.. i have a chance to make over 100 thousand a year and maybe be happy but i am held back by my farther or myself wondering how things are going to be with me gone i hate my life so much that i just think about ending it to take all the pain away.. i derserve better than what i have been given. i wanted to rdrive across the contry by myself that was my dream but i cant do that now

maybe i should be dead my son to to young to remember me after awhile and my farther only will miss me when i cant work for him

i hate my fucking life and i want to doe so fucking bad but i am willing to seek help from a stranger first, or maybe not maybe ill do it tonite,who knows

who cares besides the people who want me around just to do what they want

i want to go to iraq to die cause alot of private contractors are dying over there but maybe ill save another life while im there

i know my reason for living, its to die a good death and be rememberd and i cant do that changing tires in massachusets

i know people are going to read this and say taht im stupid and i have no reason to feel like killing myself and they are worst off amd ,maybe hey are.. but till u walk a mile im my shoes that are falling apart cause i cant afford new ones then maybe they will understand

that i want to die

I want to die but I want to be taken and have the joy of sex first. I really wish someone would help me. I live in Fort Wayne, IN and go to northrop high school. my classes are business law: Kovacs, child developement: Freck, astronomy: Harper, and spanish: Petrie, I am 17tn I have my tongue pierced and i am willing to do a guy and two girls. please someone come get me.

Thank you

I can't even remember a time when I was truly happy about anything. It's not right--I've barely started living yet, and I've already given up on the world as a hopeless cause. I look around and I see a plant that is harsh and cruel and self-destructing second by second. I see people that work their entire lives to be somethng other than they are just so that the world can either accept them or forget all about them. I see a life that sure as hell doesn't seem worth living.But yet, I'm still here. 2 reasons: one, I'm too chickens**t to commit sucide, and two, because while this world may not be worth the effort now, I'd like to believe that maybe, just maybe, one day, it could be. I'd like to belive that there are still some people out there who give a damn, even if they aren't anybody that we know.
Most people's lives suck at least 98% of the time. During these times, you just want to crawl up into a ball and die so that the pain will be over. The reason why I haven't swallowed my entire medicine cabinet just yet is that I'm waiting for that 2%; becasue I think it's going to be worth waiting for. It's the stupid little trival things that make our lives things we live instead of things we exist through; and even if these stupid little things are all I get out of the phycotic mess of this farce we call life, I think it might be enough. If their truly is no grand higher plan for all of us, than all that really matters is what we do now. Today. The world needs us to care becasue it sucks so badly at it. If everyone here felt like they were loved, even if it was only by one person, then they wouldn't be here, writing all of there problems out to strangers.
Every one who has posted and will ever post on this site will be in my prayers. Laugh if you want, say it's stupid and pathetic and nobody prays anymore, but I think that's bull. I think everybody prays at one point or another--even if you have no clue who it is you're praying to. So I pray that you all find peace, comfort, some small degree of hope that one day things won't suck as badly as they do now; and the knowledge that, no matter what you do, where you go or what happens to you, there is at least one person out there who cares about you. I pray you all live.

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Im so sick of everything! I just want to go jump off a fucking cliff! Everything is falling apart! I hate everything about me and everthing Im just sick of it! I don't even know what to do anymore!

Wow, here I was just thinking about whether or not something like this existed and viola, it does. Yeah, I hate my life too. I have a real self-esteem issue and it's quite troublesome. My personal life is non-existent, I have maybe one friend and my family possesses the ability to make everything 10 times worse than it really is. I pretty much do spend every waking moment questioning why I was even born, because it's not as if I have anything worthwhile to contribute to this world. I just hate everything at this point in my life. When I do try to make things better for myself I just end up getting kicked in the shins by someone along the way and then I fall back to square one. Music is my only solace for dealing with these issues, and the self loathing of course, but sometimes I just refuse to get out of bed. Blah...my life sucks!

Please
i'm gay
poor
have NO friends
my family hates me
i hate myself even more
i have absolutely no happy memories
no motivation to carve out a career or a life for myself
i've got an eating disorder
i'm cold, lonely, depressed and wish i could die
if someone told me that tomorrow my life will end, i'd be excited

i've got no future.
i've tried and tried and things are only getting worse
life is shit, anyone who thinks life is great is fucking on drugs or just delusional
life is painful, it isn't happy, it's just absolutely horrible
believe me, i used to be optimistic and hopeful and full of life and it has been sucked out of me and now i'm just old and empty and lost
i blame my parents for having me, i will tell my mother that one day... i hope the fuck was worth it, because out of that it created me and all my pain, you selfish bitch haven't you heard of abortion or condoms

I guess i have nothing to say that hasn’t been said already, but i just have nowhere else to go. I may be acting like the typical depressed teen cliche but i honestly feel like i want to die. I have literaly had enough of life and the pain that i experience day in day out. I have tried to kill myself only once before about a year back,i was 16 at the time, i tried drowning myself and i nearly went through with it but now i’m seriously considering doing it again very soon. I have been depressed for so long, always trying to hide from societys vindictivness. I rarely go out as i fear being seen by others. I do have good friends, but i don’t think they truely understand the extent of my pain. My family does know of my depression and my dad doesnt do much to help it, instead tells me to ‘snap out of it’, which of course is easier said than done. My mum died a year ago which made things a million times worse, and nobody understands just what i’ve been through and how badly i feel. I look and feel ugly and cant bear for anyone to look at my face, i havn’t looked in a mirror for over 6 months, pathetic but i honestly cant take it, cos whenever i do i break down and cry. Lately i’ve felt numb, disconected, emotionless, cold, u know just mentally out of it and i cant seem to see any way out of my down spiral. I hate everything about me, and will never feel love from another human being ever. Yes, i have many issues and yes suicide is selfish and isnt the way out but i dont know what else to do, i’ve lost every ounce of life i ever had, and it will never be replaced.

hmmm, maybe it's not that we don't have any friends or people that care. We just haven't found them yet. Well here we all are. I feel all your pain as you feel mine and they feel yours.
If we left our lives and started a new with each other, I wonder what would happen.
Life is made of choices that you've been programmed to take. For example.
Somebody says your ugly. All your life you've been programmed to make yourself feel bad because of that.
How bout this? Choose to feel great about yourself when someone puts you down. Most of the time it's just a test anyhow. Maybe someday you will understand.
Choose to choose, don't choose to be programmed.
That's what (They) want.

By the way April, how are you doing?
I worry about you because I care.

And to all you kids out there that don't think your parents care, it's not true. I have 4 kids and my oldest thinks I could care less. He is so much like me when I was his age it scares me, cause I wanted to kill myself at his age because my father wanted nothing to do with me. Funny how life keeps going in circles. It's a pattern bred from the family that I must now break. I will call him tonight and we will talk and communicate.
And I will listen. I love him.

I just stumbled across this page and read all of the posted comments above, and I feel compelled to write this. I know that most of you reading this won't take it seriously, but here goes.

I fully relate to the feeling of hating your life. I am 28 years old and I am in the process of working through 28 years worth of pain and suffering. Things have been bad most of my life (depression, anxiety, childhood abuse, self-hatred, etc.) but things got out of control about a year ago. I became so overwhelmed with the stress of hating myself and my life and all that was going wrong that I developed a serious anxiety condition, a panic disorder, and severe depression. I started taking cocaine almost every night because that was the only thing that kept me from wanting to kill myself. Eventually I had a sort of breakdown. I decided to move back in with my parents and to really truly fix everything. I am starting over. It is taking a while, and I still have a long way to go. But I no longer think about killing myself. Instead I am excited about the life I will someday build for myself. I know that I will be happy. I am OK!

I write this because as I read all of the posted comments above, I could relate to most of them in some way or another. I want to tell all of you that you don't have to go on feeling the way you do. We do have the choice to change our lives. We do have the power to take control of our thoughts and feelings and to learn to make choices in our everyday lives that will lead us to be happy people. I am learning to develop these skills in therapy. If anyone who reads this can relate to the kind of things that are posted on this page, I beg you to seek professional help. It really can change your life. I am living proof of that. You have the power to change your life for the better, but only you can do it. I know that it's hard, believe me. I've had so much hardship to deal with. But now that I finally went and got help, I understand that I can make things better. Please trust me. I know what it's like to want to die, but I've since learned that it is in my own power to never have to feel that way again. I hope you will take this to heart. Don't give up on life - it really can be wonderful!

everyone gets sad. everyone gets mad. its just the way life is. you're all here for a reason maybe it isnt obvious to you, but there is one.
if you are having bad days, or whatever all i have to say is do not hurt yourself. i've done it many times. but CAN YOU TELL ME THE REASON TO DO SO? no..all i told myself was it didnt hurt..because the pain inside me hurts more..and its cool to do so.. that is not a reason it stands for nothing. if you are upset..go talk to someone. always remember you are NOT alone. you hate your life? you think u got the worst life ever? NO we're ALL equal. life is fair. if you have family problems, i bet your friends love you. well you gotta have something good right?
looks dont matter so much. or maybe it does its your opinion but i just wanna say that there is no ugly people or beautiful people. all people have different perspectives. keep saying you are ugly only lowers your self esteem.

i may be young but i may know better than you.

i'm 16 and I fucking hate my life.I have no friends,never had a girlfriend,I have nothing. i'm ugly I know i'm ugly because i'm reminded of it everyday at school on a daily basis.i'll walk by people and girls will look at me in disgust or ye'll things at me telling me i'm ugly.i've done nothing to anybody but yet no one likes me.I talk to myself because there is no one for me to talk to.and i'm depressed all the time.this life fucking sucks and I wish that it would just fucking end.

life....what is it really about??? my life sucks,ive gone through so much, there isnt enough room to type what i have to deal with. first of all, ill start with what is happening right now. i am 24yrs, married,three kids, and not a clue what to do with myself.in the begining, my mother was 16yrs old going to school, my father was 23yr man, he should have not got together with her, he was too old, anyway, i was born out of this immoral thing.they never had anywhere to stay so they broke into a house and lived there, by the time i was 5yrs old, my mother was a heroin addict, i used to come home from school, and there would be people jacking up on my bed, and throwing up in my room, blood staines on my bed and stuff, not only that, but her boyfriend at the time...continue>>

>>

I don't really hate my life. I just get upset sometimes. I feel bad when people tell me that I am pretty. I feel like they are lying to my. My boyfriend tells me all the time that he thinks that I am pretty. I think that he is just trying to get in my pants. I pick at myself. I grab the skin on my stomach and pull at it. Fat is not cute, not even a little bit. I don't like my jobs. I work to much and miss my friends. I am still figureing things out with my life, so I don't know if I truely hate life yet of not. My guess is not really. I did just miss a promotion at my job, although I like to think that I am just going to find something better. I try to look on the bright side of things, but sometimes there is no bright side. I just got forced into getting an apartment with my boyfriend, who I don't think that I am going to be with for much longer. I would write more. But I just read everyones entries, and I don't really feel like complaining anymore. Not to be mean, but I think that I am going to find something happy to look at for a while before lose it and drive off a cliff on lunch break...

Anyone interested in chattin bout this kind of stuff? coz i would really appreciate anyone who is willing to talk about their problems rather than just posting distressing messages, i myself am going through some really hard times and i would be very happy to at least talk to young people (i myself am 17) in a similar position to me, cause why suffer alone?. I hope to hear from you,

YOU ARE ALL FUCKING NUTS

Yes I can relate with a lot of you. I hate my life as well. Suze, you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I think I am a capable, fairly smart person but I struggle with bouts of depression and anxiety and I have practically no friends left which is even more depressing. Plus my husband is a real jerk and all he cares about is having sex.

Hate my life, too. I have no job, can't pay bills. I live with my fiancee because I was afraid to live with my parents anymore. I wish things were better. I would never have gotten engaged. I probably wouln't have gone on a date with him, or maybe just a pity date. He was too old for me- 25 when I was 20. He treats me well, but it's hard on me-- I feel like I need to take care of him because he's got ADD and never remembers to take his medicine or do chores or homework. I'm sick of doing everything for everyone! At my parent's I had to take care of the mentally handicapped foster people they brought into the house. My parents felt like such good people for doing this, but my parents never took care of my brother and I as children! Why should they pretend to care now about someone else's kids? And these people had emotional problems, threw fits, urinated and defecated on the floors, attacked us or snuck into our rooms when we were asleep!

life is too short, live life to the full why dwell when you can be doing something creative. I used to hate my life and think i was fat ugly and bound to fail at everything i did. I am now a highly successful physiotherapist, fit and healthy and regularly compete well in atheletics. I have a wonderful boyfriend who tells me im beautiful with a couple of admirers too!! If i can turn my life around so can you. Dont think its all over

I hate my life too. I have a plan to kill myself. I will go through with it. By the time most of you read this, I will be dead.

To Living life to the full---HOW did you do it???? Don't rub it in to all of us that you found a way out of your misery and just leave it at that. PLEASE HELP ME

To alicia- I was bullied at school had little if any friends and was fat and ugly. I got told this on a daily baisis. Dont let these people get you down. You CAN do it everybody can. I understand its hard i may seem impossible but you can do it. I know numerous people who failed a levels GCSE's and other exams but have got up again and tried their best and worked through it. you can work yourself to hapiness. Nothing is inpossible. Everyone will feel like they hate their life its just a fact of life and emotions that we have play an important part. Even people you think have it all going for them will hate parts about them

how is shannon doing? i wish her all the best im sorry to hear what has happened

its really interesting in some ways i guess...to see what everyone posts...seems like the whole world is depressed..."we are the depressed generation" heh. are any of you out there getting counseling or trying antidepressants? just curious, not that i've found them to really help or anything, but to each their own. sometimes it does help to focus on the small gifts we get in life...like this website for instance is something i consider a gift because i can go here and see that theres peoples out there that feel exactly the same way, which is a comfort in some ways knowing that im not the only one.

I typed in - Hate my life - into the search engine and this is what I got. I thought that I was so alone in what I feel, but I realize now that I am not. I don't feel any better for realizing this. In fact, I feel worse. I see all of you teenagers posting on this site (I am 37) and I realize that it started for me at about that time. Since then, I have had happy and sad times, but I still come back to this.I want to believe that things CAN get better, but it is really hard.

I am sorry to say that Shannon passed away at 2:30 this afternoon. Both of her kidneys failed, and her brain was rendered non-functional.

I am so sorry to hear about Shannon. I will be praying for you and her family.

I am very sorry to hear about Shannon. she is in a better place and i also pray for her friends and family. I know she felt inferior on this earth but she is special as each and everyone of us is.

My heart goes out to Shannon and her family.

CAROLINE

well where should i begin.......i must say my only reason to be on here is to....well...laugh at how depressed some people are on here...and again your life sucking makes my life just a little better!! it makes me laugh to see such attention craved people post there problems....exaggerate their so sad stories of their life as they know it . please! give it a rest.i remember being one of you and i must admit i sometimes still am but for the most part,i've come to realization im ignorate.life is what life is get off your pedistal of how bad your life REALLY is and come into reality,children.

well where should i begin.......i must say my only reason to be on here is to....well...laugh at how depressed some people are on here...and again your life sucking makes my life just a little better!! it makes me laugh to see such attention craved people post there problems....exaggerate their so sad stories of their life as they know it . please! give it a rest.i remember being one of you and i must admit i sometimes still am but for the most part,i've come to realization im ignorate.life is what life is get off your pedistal of how bad your life REALLY is and come into reality,children.

well where should i begin.......i must say my only reason to be on here is to....well...laugh at how depressed some people are on here...and again your life sucking makes my life just a little better!! it makes me laugh to see such attention craved people post there problems....exaggerate their so sad stories of their life as they know it . please! give it a rest.i remember being one of you and i must admit i sometimes still am but for the most part,i've come to realization im ignorate.life is what life is get off your pedistal of how bad your life REALLY is and come into reality,children.

well where should i begin.......i must say my only reason to be on here is to....well...laugh at how depressed some people are on here...and again your life sucking makes my life just a little better!! it makes me laugh to see such attention craved people post there problems....exaggerate their so sad stories of their life as they know it . please! give it a rest.i remember being one of you and i must admit i sometimes still am but for the most part,i've come to realization im ignorate.life is what life is get off your pedistal of how bad your life REALLY is and come into reality,children.

i feel for all of u,i hate people who say that were fuckin crazy or sad,they dont know what we've been through or still going through.
ive been bullied all my life,primary,secondary even at home it dont sound that bad,i know,but them people that bully u dont realise that they are really damaging u inside.
i cry all the time,my sister has lost two babys and i know this sound selfish but shes stole my mum too.i lie on my bed and stare at the celing and theres nothing there im blank,i used to say to myself that im ugly and useless but now theres nothing,which is even more scary coz i dont no wats going on in my head,and if i dont no how can i help myself or someone else help me?
ive never been perfect like my sister,she went to school,she had friends,she passed her gcse's and me!!!,i went to school i had no friends i cryed all the time,im weak,i started bunking off coz i was too scared to go,and i didnt pass my gcse's.
but no ones perfect!
i have a fear of public places because in my last two years at school i got bullied by boys,kicked punched,tripped up,glue trown in my hair,they used to kick my lower back so i would fall down concrete stairs and id just lie there while thay point and laugh.!!!
ive alienated myself and im scared,scared of myself,i havnt really wanted to kill myself but id walk around day dreaming walkin in front of cars ect:
i did start self harming and i was drinking all the time.
but if it was my time to die a car or bus would have killed me,but it wasnt,i know how it feels to be unwanted but it does get better u might not notice,it wont ever leave you but it will get better.
i have a boyfriend now and were engaged and ive left home away from the rows and the bullying,yes im lucky to have someone to turn to.
but u only live once dont take that chance away from urself,life is ment to be,wen it is ur time to die then so be it. but dont do it urself it aint ur time!
im only 17 dont think im some adult that thinks she knows it all,coz i dont i havnt a clue,im just telling u's from experience which is'nt alot.people are out there to help,ur not alone someone is watchin over you!!
im still crying but it helps.life isnt all that bad!,find your good spots its hard but you gotta find them and keep at them!you can email me if you wont,im young but a good listerner.
i DONT love my life and i DONT hate it,BUT IM LIVING IT!!!!

i hate life and it hates me but im up for the challange unlike most of you

Jamie- i have something to say to you and thats SHUT IT..you really have no idea.Dont tell me bullshit that your completely happy with yourself NOBODYS PERFECT YOU KNOW!!not even you and if you cant find a flaw ive found one already and thats ignorence

fuck you jamie

So sorry about Shannon. I am sorry that you, Mildred, had to be the bearer of this sad news to all of us whom you don't even know. I have a teenage daughter and I worry sick about her as I know she thinks like most of you and is clearly depressed about things....she is withdrawn and does not speak to me much. She is 17. She quit school her senior year and ran away to New York while I was at work one day. I came home to find her room empty and a note telling me not to worry.....yeah right!! How can I not. She is back home now though as she found out grass isn't always greener in the neighbor's yard. She still is withdrawn and doesn't like to talk much about her "experience". I would like to know why she left, but probably never will.

As a mother of 2 teeneagers, I know that mother/daughters do not always see eye to eye on things and we all butt heads. Everything seems sooo darn difficult as a parent....not knowing when your child will come home at night, if they are doing drugs, will they get pregnant, etc. We worry soooo much and sometimes our children mistake this for being cruel or not understanding and they rebel against us. I love my girls, but feel like no matter what I do for them, they hate me. That is depressing.
For all of you teens out there, please take time to smile and to at least have a civil conversation with you mom's. You will hope that you did once they are gone. (my mistake)
K

This site?

What is it for? People claim to be happy, but, why would they type in....I HATE MY LIFE, if they were so...."happy."

Things that make you want to go.....Mmmmmmmm?

i hate my life. I have been bullied since i can remember becasue of my 'port wine' birthmark that covers the majority of my face. People look at me and laugh when they walk down the street and sometimes its as if im not even there. The other day i was on a visit to New York and i entered Barneys and when i asked for help i was completely ignored. I just want to be loved. I sometimes feel like killing myself but im not going to take the easy way out. I love things in live like watching the early morning sun from the roof of my apartment im going to live on the little things. Its great to hear the success stories on this page well done to 'living life to the full' on being a physical therapist well done to those people who have made it. I hope to hear more sucess stoires.

im going to sit on my roof top now to watch the dawn

heartbroken...thats how i feel. The girl I have loved for three years is pregnant with another guy's baby. She told me two weeks ago. I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with this girl...not anymore. Her life is now predetermined to be spent with this virgin takin motherfucker. I feel like shit. A part of me is dead. Life's a fuckin joke.

FUCK YOU!! jamie how dare you come on here telling usthat we are over exaggerating our pain! when you have no idead what it is like to be constantly pissed and trampled on by life,or what it is like to be a lonely ostracized human being, a person with no friends who has been exiled(banished) from a social life by people based on the way you look,or for those people (such as mysef)who go to highschool or any other school and are constantly reminded by everyone of how ugly or how much of a loser you are.fuck you,and also you are right about one thing you said about yourself YOU ARE IGNORANT!!! you are ignorant to other peoples problems and you know nothing so just SHUT UP AND FUCK UP!!!!!.

yeah i agree, you couldnt have put it better, jamie, you're an ignorant sad little fuck, get a life, cause, lets face it, you're life must be pretty shallow and pathetic if you feel the need to post pointless insulting messages all day on the net

Jamie, so how did you come about finding this web site, if you are SO happy?

And, I must agree with some of the other people posting......Fuck you, jamie!"

hahahahahahaha You assface!

i dont want to cry anymore. My tears have run dry. My pain has turned to numbness. Im dying form the inside out

Jamie-
I'm willing to bet you have mo friends. have a nice happy life you sad, pathetic,lonesome bitch.
What goes around comes back at cha. You got it coming.......10 fold.
Buh Bye

I have nobody in this cold lonely world,god i'm so ugly people won't even be around me. sometimes I sit around and fantasize about taking a knife and carving my fucking face off but i'm to much of a bitch to try it.god why have I been cursed with this horrible cures of unattractiveness why must I have this horrible cures.have I done something wrong,do I deserve this.oh how I 'long' to look normal and have a girl look at me without "cringeing"."oh god why me" is the question I ask myself everyday.lately i've been thinking maybe I should swallow my medicine cabinet and end it all,no or maybe i'll get a gun and end it quickly.oh please someone help me, please someone tell me i'm not ugly. oh please somebody be my friend!!!.

some people on here might be depressed because of their job? many people are usually depressed or agitated because of their job actually, so if you notice that small things are stressing you out or your tired often perhaps you should rethink your whole job situation? im not going to say i know what everyone's going through, but i do know how it feels to be all alone and hopeless. but i also think it is a person's decision to want to be happy or improve their life. if your feeling really depressed perhaps its stress, and you may need just a little time out every day? i hate to sound nagging but if anyone wants to talk or have any questions im right here. :)

hi i agree with each and every one of u in here i may not have it as bad as all of you but i do have it bad imean my life seems good my mom n dad r together i have 2 brothers but somethings missing idk y evryday i go in my room and cry cry cry i jsut dont like my life i belive in eternal life n belibe i will 1 day b happy but idk y i jsut dont like my life i think it my mom we never got along counselor never helped running away from home never helpd my dads never home bc of work i dont want to go into details but can some1 plz reply to me and just say sumthin to make me feel godd? is ne 1 in here a cutter bc ive cut b4 n u no wat u guyz i have love 4 all of u but not for my slef im so insecure i hate my life n i have sop many problems but im not gunna complain to u guyz bc u probly dont wanna here my crap from a 13 yr old girl but hope ur lives get better

i cut myself on my wrists and used to perposally burn myslef. No i work at the burns unit in a hospital how i ronic is that!

hay! to the 13 yr old girl who's post starts out with the line "hi i agree with each and everyone of you" what is your email so I can talk to you. i'm 16 and i'm in highschool and I also have it pretty bad but I think I can help you.just give me your email.or email me

marky5661@hotmail.com

hay! 13 yr old girl how's it going i'm glad you responded to my post.now i'm gonna try and help you as best as I can.now first off i'd like to say STOP CUTTING YOURSELF! thats really not helping anything so STOP IT,anyway now it seems to me that you cry alot well, thats understandable seeing as how you don't get along with your mother "but" have you
ever sat down and talked to her about whatever it is you don't get along about I mean that could solve your problem as far as thats concerned. and you say your dads never home because of work well have you ever considered that maybe he does'nt like it as much as you don't like it, I mean i'm sure he enjoys work but he has to make a living to support you and the rest of your family and keep you "fed" and the only way I guess he can do that is if he stays at work alot.I mean i'm sure he loves you alot otherwise he would'nt be at work trying to take care of you and i'm sure your mother loves you but she just maybe does'nt know how to express or something.I mean I can totally relate to you not getting along with your familty because i'm just 16 and me and my family used to be at war all the time but I know that they love me and that they really did'nt mean to fight with me it just always ended like that.it was'nt until I sat down and talked to them about it that i realized these truths and we have been good ever since.anyway I hope this helps you make some kind of decision.

p.s:dry your eyes and stop crying,crying shows weakness and you must be strong to rise above your situation.so please no more crying.

mark

mark....idk.... im just confused about my life... ill talk to u in a lil im me on aim ill tell u dat l8a but uhh... yah i dont feel like talking but were u from?

hay lora i've been out for ahwile hello! i am
16 and I live in the st.louis area.if you have anymore questions or you want to talk feel free to post on here or email anytime okaY!!

hay hi lora! I am 16 and I live in the st.louis area I go to highschool everyday from 7:30 a.m to 3:15 p.m everyday.and if you feel like you want to talk to somebody or ask a question feel free to email me or post in this forum anytime okay.

I am just so sad lately. I date losers and always get hurt. I am always so nice but it doesn't pay. I just want to be happy again. The last guy I dated choked me under the influence of medication and booze. SO I say, is it that God knew he wouldn't kill me so I saved the life of someone else or is itthat I am truly just a mental punching bag to people. I want to be happy again. I want to see what it is like to feel alive. I can't kll myself because I have 2 children I love so very much. I just want to be happy again....

I've had enough. I hate the movies I hate the tv. I hate men. I hate that men rape and abuse and degrade women (and treat us like sex objects). I hate that i see it everywhere to remind me. I hate that I was a victim and could be again. I hate that no one cares and everyone is selfish and apathetic. I hate that we are hurting and degrading and taking everything away from people in other countries (and in our own) we shouldn't even be in. I hate that men rule the world. I hate that women deny or lie. and that men don't understand or don't care. I hate that i exist and that i have problems dealing with all my insecurities from this fucked up nation. I hate that so many women see themselves as sex objects and that once they lose their attractiveness they have nothing. it's the most important thing to a lot of women now-a-days and it's so wrong and i admit i do it too. i hate it and i hate myself for it. my petty pathetic issues and insecurities are nothing compared to the real problems some people have to face. i want to die. i'm sick of this world. it disgusts me.

Your pathetic stereotyping of men makes me sick. I'm sorry that you feel oppressed or that you were a victim of something, but that isn't the rest of our faults. saying that men are all rapists or that we all view women as only sex objects, is just as bad as what you are bitching about. The fact is, men are the real victims in todays society, which is so PARANOID that it will come off as sexist that it has gone full circle and reversed the sexism, not eliminated it. Women have many more privileges in today's society than they ever did, and many more than men do. They don't HAVE to go to war if there is a draft. They can scream sexual harassment, even if there was none, in a work environment and screw the guy over. They can falsly claim rape, and even if the police investigate and find it to be untrue, don't get in trouble for it UNLESS THEY ACTUALLY CONFESS. meaning, they can just keep quiet and never admit to lying and they won't get caught. Women back in the day had it way harder than your selfish, complaining ass, so stop bitching. You have nothing to bitch about, and it's people like you that in fact make this world the terrible place that you are in fact bitching about! As you said, many people have it MUCH worse than you, so just shut the fuck up, and get a grip.

hay as a man I love raping,abusing and degrading women hahahahah!

YEAH!! i agree fuck women, I mean come on you get married to the sluts and when you divorce them they get half (if not all) of everything you own leaving you sleeping in you car if they did'nt take that too.fuck them they have nothing to complain about. I divorced my wife of 6 years she took almost everything I had I could'nt believe the bitch did that to me, I've worked my whole life and that bitch never worked a day in her life and she fucking takes everything I fucking. I slept in my car for a year because the bitch got my fucking house.and after that year I finally got a job and was able to maintain paying for a small apartment.Oh! how I wish I could kill that bitch she has some other guy she married living in the house I paid for and I was sleeping in my car and am now living in a small apartment.FUCK HER AND FUCK WOMEN, CONIVING SLUTS!!!

I really do hate my life sometimes! It is so hard at times, up and down, i'm a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't know what it's like to really be happy.My whole life I have been sad,cunfused,ANGRY!I was an abused child,up until about 14, by a drunk,angry father who loved to hate me.My sister was an angel in his eyes and everything she did wrong (which was alot)I would get hit for and yelled at and belittled.It is so hard to be A little boy and having your hero (dad)hating you. I thought everything was my fault, what am I doing wrong.I would try so hard to get his approval, just a smile and an i love you son.And what did I get for it, my head through the wall.I failed 2 grades in school, I had no parent, self raised.And now I destroy everything good that comes into my life. the people I care about the most I treat the worst.I get a good thing and I ruin it.I'm alway's tired,my body aches and im in my 20's.It all piles up and I just want to quit, i've been fighting for so long, i'm just tired, I'm ready for a long rest!!!!!!!!!!

Wow...it's comforting and disturbing to see other people feel the way I do. I hate life myself. I can't figure out why I wake up everyday and do the same shit over and over again. I know my children are the #1 reason. I love them so much....but I'm ready to leave this place. It truly seems to be hell. I've tried to find God so many times and I've gotten close, but here I am again, back where I started. I took a ton of pain killers along with muscle relaxers and a few beers last night and I STILL woke up this morning! I can't even kill myself the right way. Now that's f'd up! I always make sure I'm smiling so no one else feels "uncomfortable"....and inside, I'm just hating everything around me. I'm tired, too. Emotionally and physically. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm 26, married, with 2 kids...and nothing to look forward to, but endless days of working at a job I hate, cooking and cleaning for 3 other people, going to little league baseball games and having to watch the "baseball moms" with their baseball purses and jewelry, going to PTA meetings (yuk!), having sex when I don't want to because that's my "wifely" duty...UUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!

It's odd how growing older changes people, usually for the worse. In my case anyway. When I think back to my childhood the best memories I have always took place during the summer, and I have some good memories, but never any that took place during the winter. It's like now when I look back over the last five years I remember mostly the bad points but rarely the good points. Although ambiguous my point is that in life the shit parts are the most potent, but good things do happen in between. Again, if I think my life is shit now and tomorrow I suffer some hideous accident and lose a limb, I guarentee you that I'll be thinking about how fucking great my life was before. I was gonna write a note about all the bad details of my past(I'm sure things that people have heard over and over again), but while writing it I felt like laughing because I realised It would be just as easy to write about all the good details.

SHUT THE FUCK UP TRISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh fatness how i hate it