Okay so my life seems to be pretty good.
I'm healthy, fit, got a good job, have some money.. a bit of debt (but thats life, who doesnt)
Im in a seemingly perfect long distance relationhship.. (she said we could see other people, just not tell each other, and meet up again) and everythings fine.
she loves me, i love her, and this time i mean it when i say it, its really real.
she makes me feel like this could be it. or something along those lines.
we're both sensible enough to realise that this might NOT be it, and if that is the case, then its ok to move on.
but anyway, for most of the time im busy with my life, but happy.
But. Sometimes when im alone and im not doing anything i just want to hurt myself.
I want to cut myself or bang my head against the wall, or my wrists, or my fists.
just to feel something else, because the banality of life gets to me.
It just drags me down, i feel empty and apathetical, and i dont think anyone else outside of my .. mindspace would know that.
I don't want to die, i just hate feeling nothing, and i find i keep myself busy so i dont feel these moments of .. nothing-ness.
whats wrong with me? am i crazy?
No you arent
Posted by: anon at May 24, 2004 7:49 AM