In the past I had been the most trusting person in the world. Thinking that everyone inherently was a beautiful person. Then I met this person. They decied I was their savior for some reason that is beyond me, being as how I was totally screwed up. Togetther we ended up...again how? well late one party I was passed out, they climbed into my bed, and poof the next morning we were hanging out. No we didna do what your thinking, althought almost. But we found out we had lots of stuff in common. TMBG was the furst thing for those of you who know what that means you will also appreciate the Red Dwarf, and Army of darkness connection. We dated for 2 years at the end of which I had to start working graveyard. One day when comming over to see then I found a sickening sweet scent, vomit, beer, pee, BO, and carnal scents. Then I saw it. My partner in bed with a hobo. This is when I found out about the other 10+ partners. needless to say this destroyed the person inside me who had made chaulk arrows, and a giant rock arrow at a park we frequented leading to a bouquet of flowers and a card for her, and the man who would plan secret picnics (much like yogi bear would steal.)
2 Years later I finally venture into the dating feild again thinking that maybe this person who enjoyed reading comics, and playing video games, and talking about chemistry would be someone I should try with. This is when things start to go wrong, My friends thinking they would save me the troubles of my past horrid relationship.....at least to start....told me to be a very surfacy person and to hide behind what I know (being a very people person) is what people like to talk about....Not getting to be myself in anyway. Well not in any real way. I have this to say about listening to your friends. Sometimes they have your best interists in mind, but even the best laid plans sometimes go to waste. Sometimes protecting yourself by not being yourself causes nothing but pain, and failure. Just because once in your life there has been sheer and utter destruction of your psyche dosen't mean it will always be that way, unless you take on the world like that is the only option. Then it is (cliche) a self furfilling prophecy. Never lose yourself just to try and build a protective structure. I honestly think this could have been a healing episode for me after the horror of the last encounter with them, but instead I created an enviroment bound for failure. Im writing this to try to educate anyone else out there that has had painful things happen. Don't be like me don't take it out on all of them, but always give a person a second chance. Unless of course they were sleeping with a hobo. Then just fire bomb the place and collect the insurance money.
Posted by anonymous at June 7, 2005 11:32 PMThis is a very interesting post. It is difficult to comment on this subject. Specifically, not knowing what gender your partner is/was I can only give you an ambiguous point of view. Men and women are so different it makes the response differ. I agree with your general idea. If you could clarify the sexuality of the people involved I would like to comment.
Posted by: at June 8, 2005 9:18 AMGeez, pay attention! The poster refers to himself as the man who would plan picnics, and he refers to a "bouquet of flowers and a card for HER."
Posted by: at June 8, 2005 1:35 PMYes yes in fact I am a he, and she was a she. However some might just call her a deamon from the 7th level of hell.
Posted by: anon at June 9, 2005 3:52 PMI would really like to see what you have to say. Any responce to my posting would be appreciated. I find it educational to listen to what people think of situations.
Posted by: Original poster at June 13, 2005 3:41 AMOkay, here is what I have to say:
First, it is hard for me to believe that you could date someone for two years and not see them for who they were. There had to be something along the way, if not many somethings, that would have indicated that she was so promiscuous. Were you so besotted with her that you ignored all of it?
Second, to be a "surfacy" kind of person to avoid being hurt will get you nowhere. Would you want the person you're interested in to be that way, or would you rather know them for who they are? You are absolutely right that it leads to pain and failure. Life hurts sometimes. That's just how it works. To decide that because someone hurt you that you can never trust anyone again is foolish. You sound like you have learned that, and good for you. Sometimes life is a game of "get hurt, move on, start over." Keep playing the game until you win. It's worth the wait.
Posted by: at June 13, 2005 4:52 AM