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BREAKING NEWS FLASH !

kODY R BEAR REPEALS FIVE YEAR OLD SODOMY LAW !

"There's just no one left to sodomize" said the aging ruler in a interview with Mattel executives on Friday

BREAKING NEWS was able to obtain the following transcript of the landmark interview held at Mattel, Inc.

333 Continental Boulevard El Segundo CA.

Mattel Executive: Your Excellency would you consider leasing your image to Mattel? We feel that since your abandonment of sodomy that you may now be able to appeal to middle class American families.

KodyBear: Well I doubt that's going to be possible unless you want to manufacture a Castration Kody doll. You see that is going to be my new solution.

Mattel Executive: Mr. Bear, don't you think that's a little harsh? I'm sure you must realize that this company cannot put it's resources into a Castration Kody Doll.

KodyBear: If you want to lease my likeness,then you will adhere to my doctrines. From now on all infractions will be punished by castration. In the case of the doll I want castration spelled with a K.

Mattel executive: What about the women? You spare the women?

KodyBear: I did not think about that. Hm. I'll sodomize the women and castrate the men. What could be more perfect?

Mattel executive: Perhaps we--

KodyBear: You will address me using my title!

Mattel executive: I'm very sorry Your Excellency perhaps we can resolve this issue at a later time. Now I wanted to ask you about Magoogoo. How do you intend to conduct his search and is his disappearance related to the repeal of the sodomy law ?

KodyBear: First it's Magogo. Second I intend to scour the earth for that muther fucker. Third his absence has nothing to do with the repeal of the law. There's just no one left to sodomize anymore. I've sodomized almost everything. I even sodomized some ones wedding ring one time. I'm tired. My back hurts. Castration will be easier on me. You know. Just grab,cut and toss it away.

Mattel executive: Your excellency could you tell us about Verizon Plans?

KodyBear: fuck you ! My job in that store is not selling Verizon phones. It is sodomizing and castrating asshole offenders like Yourself. Wait this gives me a great idea. With some offenses I could sodomize and castrate simultaneously!

Mattel representatives said today that the company does not plan to produce a Castration Kody Doll and will not release funds to aid in the capture of Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey.