my head is all fuzzy. i really want this to be a new beginning. i'm so dumb. i know what i need to do, why can't i just do it? i've been bulimic off and on for over two years now. two years. that almost brings me to tears. so why can't i stop?
i know it's disgusting. i stuff myself with as much food as i possibly can. anything i feel like eating. shove my fingers down my throat and it all comes back up. it's vile, i know. it selfish, it's wasteful, its shameful, it's disgusting, it's unhealthy, and it's just fucking dumb. so why can't i stop? i'm not a dumb person. i'm normally logical, sensible, and i'm generally intelligent. so when it comes to this, why can't i get a grip? i've got to stop. i will. damnit.
Posted by anonymous at July 8, 2005 11:46 PMseek help. please. there are lots of people to help you out of that mess. you know that, you just need to make the first move. good luck.
Posted by: at July 9, 2005 6:36 AMsecond on the seeking help. best of luck to you.
Posted by: at July 9, 2005 11:58 AMMe, like you, have been suffering from bulimia on and off for 2 years. I stuff myself with whatever food that I can find in the kitchen whenever I feel depressed and unhappy in love. I try to purge myself after binging but sometimes nothing comes out. I have even vomited blood a few times before, guess I must have perforated my oesophagus. I'm almost 23 and have never really had a long lasting serious relationship. I had a fling with a colleague a few months ago and he dumped me for someone else. I felt so hurt. I'm also feeling so depressed recently when a guy I really fancy texted me to ask if I wanted to go out for a drink sometime but never told me when. Maybe he was just being polite or he must have forgotten about it. I feel very sad and miserable when I see my classmates doing well academically and happy in love. My confidence goes up and down. I don't think any guy will ever like me. I am so depressed. I want to stop this terrible habit of binging but I don't know what else to do that can make me feel less depressed. At least the feeling of being bloated makes me forget about my sadness for a while. I'm also a very sensitive person and I think a lot about other people's comments and what they say to me. I wish I could stop my feelings from controlling my mind. No one knows that I'm feeling depressed because I only binge when I'm alone and I appear cheerful when I'm out with my friends. I just wish that my love life would improve and my depression would go away.
Posted by: glitter_angel at July 16, 2005 2:59 AM