Anonyblog

uhhhh...tell him? We have this amazing thing called "speech." Use it.

Show him your genitals.

tell him? yeah that would be great if I wasnt married and he wasnt 7 years younger than me!

OMG after last night it seems I was right about that funny little feeling :-/

So he's 7 years younger, big deal. Where is it written that the male in the relationship must be older than the woman? (Or are you a man?) And if you're "hopelessly in love", but not with the one you're married to, what have you got to lose?

I have a young daughter and simply cannot afford to support myself and her if i choose to leave

and I know what you mean about the age differnce thats not really an issue I certainly dont feel my age and I dont think I look it, it seems he is attracted to me but I'm not convinced he feels for me as strongly as I do for him I think I need to meet him before I can really be certain about the way I feel about him I know its strong and I know its more than just a passing thing

What do you mean, "I think I need to meet him'? You've never met him? Huh?

Nope, we are both a member of the same forum, we text email and msn everyday we have sent each other things through the post He bought me an acre of Moon, he makes me smile.

The reason we havent met is that we live hundreds of miles apart and I just cant get away

Then I suggest you get your head out of the clouds, girl. This is not love; this is a daydream.

You say that you stay with your husband because you simply cannot afford to leave. I say you simply don't have the strength to leave. there are ways to get out, programs that can help. Do you really want to teach your daughter that it's okay to sleep with someone you don't love so your rent gets paid and there's food on the table?

Its not a day dream I can assure you I've had crushes before and they pass every time this is so much more, we barely go 12 hours without contact, its silly little things like fancy a biscuit? via text etc we talk long and deep as well he know so much more about me than some of my closest friends do we open up to each other its easy its comfortable there are no pretences between us it just us raw and open, and as for teaching my daughter things like that I can assure you I wont!

But you ARE teaching your daughter by example. Look, I know that you can get to know someone without ever having met them face to face; I have a very close friend that I think of as my sister, and I've never seen her. Corresponding via emails and texts can really let you get to know someone at a very deep level, because you can communicate without being distracted by physicality.

What I'm trying to tell you is that if you have a husband who loves you and takes care of you, don't use him just so you can have food and a place to live. Don't stay with him if you don't love him while you fantasize about another man. Would you like it it he were doing the same thing? What led you to develop this relationship with another man, anyway?

I'm certainly not saying that you are deliberately teaching your daughter anything, but I am pointing out that we lead by example. If I may ask, how old are you, and how old is your daughter, and is your husband her father? Knowing these things will help me to better understand where you're coming from.

I'm in my 30s my daughter is 10 months and we have been together 8 years and yes my husband is her father its easy to assume things have cahnged because of the baby but looking at it it has been longer, and I met this other guy through a mutual friend

Oh, boy. You've really gotten yourself into a mess, haven't you? Are you saying that you were losing your feelings for your husband before you had a child together? Wow. Do you think post-partum depression could play a role in all of this? Have you ever considered marriage counseling? So few children these days grow up in a home with both parents, and that's really sad. But you know, once you have a child, it stops being about you; you have to put your child's best interests first. I hope you can find a way to resolve all of this, I really do. The happy ending, the beautiful ending, is for you to discover that you, your husband and your child live happily ever after...together. It does take work - it isn't easy. But good things are worth the effort. I really think that you should get counseling to help you sort out your priorities and clear up your confusion. One thing is certain: leaving your husband for this guy, should it come to that, would be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. I wish you peace and happiness.

Bless You and thanks, I've tried working and working at things with my husband and I've havent tried counselling I guess I'm scared that would raise more issues, I wouldnt leave my husband for this other guy If I left it would be for me I couldnt just walk out of one realtionship into another it wouldnt be fair on anyone else involved I've decided to make the effort and try and get through my daughters first birthday and christmas and see how I feel in a few months, I'm not one for making rash decsions if things arent working out then counselling maybe the answer who knows (Jeez I really didnt come here to get this deep), one thing I do know is that I dont want my daughter growing up in an unhappy home I grew up like that and it did some real damage I dont want her to witness the same things as I went through she has a beautiful soul and I dont want it hurt.

Thank you for taking an interest
Anon*

I'm glad I could help, and I think I did. This is what anonyblog is supposed to be, not a bunch of smartasses making sarcastic and/or stupid posts and comments and being generally anoyying. Although I admit to being one of those people sometimes. I'm glad to see that you are thinking about the reality versus the dream, and I think I can trust that you will do the right thing.

I've enjoyed our "conversation." I am, by the way, old enough to be your mother. I hope that adds some weight to my advice.

I am the dragonlady

thankyou dragon lady I will be back later in the week :)

the dragonlady will be having surgery on her right hand on Friday and we be unable to type for a while.

you're welcome! :)

Dragonlady I wish you a full and speedy recovery and I hope the operation is a success.

Contact with the guy involved has slowed a little as he has no interenet acsess at home currently, we are still talking via emails and text but it is hard and the time I'm not spending talking to him hasnt given me any quality time with my husband its highlighting the fact that we have nothing to say to each other than fighting or derogatory comments, I really dont know when it got like this *sighs*

I'm so sorry. You know, one thing I taught my daughters was never to let themselves get into a position where they had to depend on another person to pay their way. I have a young woman on my staff at work who has two little boys; she can't stand her husband. She tried leaving him and letting the boys stay with him to avoid dooming herself and the boys to a life of abject poverty; she then embarked on a life of party, party, party, who-wants-to-fuck-me-next, but she finally wised up. I know that you aren't interested in doing that, but the point is that she wised up, went back to him, and there she will stay until she gets her degree and the ability to support herself and her children. So...what about taking some classes to improve your employability?

I really think your communication with this guy should stop. Having this guy to dream about is not going to help save your relationship with your husband; it's only going to add to your overall dissatisfaction. But that's just my opinion.

My surgery is Friday at 2:00. I'll probably be able to use a keyboard again about 5 days after that. Good luck to you, too, darlin'. I hope you can work things out.

It's difficult to not be contact with this guy because we have grown so close, it's been quieter this week because he is having problems with his home internet access but we are still texting and emailing while he is at work we have each others home adresses as well, I've thought about taking a step back before and it may still be an option but it's not me that makes the first move it's him and I am just not the type of person to ignore him especially since he opened up to me, he spent a long time telling me how he has no one to talk to about things, how he doesn't trust anyone (he lost a close group of friends last year for various reason and his family support is minimal) and a little while ago he started trusting me and telling me why he is the way he is and really opening up, I certainly know more about him than any of our mutual friends, and now he feels he can talk to me I really do not want to take that support away from him, he really is an amazing person and what he has been through in life just sucks he has done nothing to deserve it, even with nothing more we regard each other as incredibly good friends and if he was to meet someone I would be so happy for him as long as she was good to him and I know our friendship will last.
So you see I can't just stop contact with him we are a part of each others lives now and I don't think that will ever change, how I feel about him may but only time will tell on that one.

Peace

Well over the weekend my husband challenged me as to what the situation was with 'marco'

That was fun!

(and I'm sarcastic)

and I told we were just friends because essentially that is all we are.

Well at least you understand that honesty is an important part of a good working relationship.