There's always that need to blow up, run off and cut the umbilical chord and just forget the sordid practical details of life. Responsibilities I feel I am not fit to live up to and the feeling that the whole castle in the air is constantly crumbling, and the permanent struggle to keep all the pieces together while wondering why, with all the luck I've had in life and all I could do, it still has to be so bloody hard. I should be the story of Ubersuccess and I yet I cannot find the strength to grab the opportunities that are really there. There's always this gnawing fear. Feeling like I wasn't made for the world I am living in , as if I was meant to be a drift in some other different and less solid world. Why do I feel like I am made of thin thin glass. Worst of all is to know that others have such a hard time for good reasons whereas I have all the pieces of the puzzle in my hands. I just fail to put them together. Still, putting it into words helps.
Posted by anonymous at November 27, 2005 3:51 AM