certainly not myself. i don't want to be a part of you anymore. i wish you'd forgive and forget me, and maybe in time i can forgive myself and forget you too. i don't want to play your games anymore. you win, like you always do. i'm too tired to fight. i used to think what we had was worth fighting for, but when i realized that i was the only one with my sword drawn i lost hope. not immediately. it was a slow, hurtful process. watching you watch me give up. you did nothing. you still do nothing. you don't even attempt to acknowledge the wrong. if you can't see it, it's not really there. well i see it. i see it all to clearly and i tried to fix it. I tried but I couldn't do it on my own.
now i do nothing more than placate you. it hurts me to do so more than it would you to know about it, but its less than pushing you away as you've done me. as things progress, you'll realize that i'm not what you expect anymore, because i now know where you stand. you'll grow tired and maybe even become angry with me. this time, in your eyes, i will be to blame for the unfortunate turn of events; you'll abandon me yet once more with no reason to come back. i'll learn how to sleep again, but i won't learn how to stop loving you.