I met him four, almost five years ago. At first he & I were just friends, nothing more. But even back then, what seems like so long ago, I think I loved him, of was starting to. I know it seems silly. "How can you know what love is at such a young age?" I don't know. But I know I love him now, and I am pretty sure that I have loved him for most of the time I've known him. Who knows? Maybe even love at first sight. I don't even believe that's possible. Lust at first sight, yes, but Love? Well. Who knows. It's hard to not believe such romanticism sometimes.
Now, almost half a decade later, we're still firends. He's my best friend. I'd like to think I'm his, & I'm pretty sure of it, but how can anyone every really know what goes on in someone's head? I told him I love him. Sat in his car and cried on his shoulder. He said it wouldn't change anything. It did. For a while. We've fixed up things, and now I honestly think we're better than ever. As friends. I told him I knew it would never work; I'm gay, and he's not. How ould that ever happen?
Yet I can't seem to let go of hope. Let go of my love for him : it just grows. I don;t think he really ever understood how much I care about him. Then or now. I told him "I love you" but I think he took it mean as a crush of something. But I love him. Truly. I'd do anything... My friends in college met him. They all honestly think that it's obvious that he loves me. They say that we're "so cute together" or that "we're in our own little world." Sweet sentiments, sure. But I don;t know what to make of it. DO I try and talk to him? He never did tell me how he felt after I told him. Regret? Anger? Unease? Pity? ...Love? No. Certainly not. And yet.. if strangers can see it. Even some of my friends seems to think it.
I just don't know. And even if he were gay. Or even bisexual. Or anything that would give me a chance at all, would I really have a chance? Why should he love me? Sure I'm "his most loyal friend." He "can tell me anything." He "cares about me." But do I really believe it?
I just don't know.
Homosexuality is a mental illness. Seek help now!
Posted by: at February 6, 2006 7:31 AMdon't listen to that poster.
i've been in a situation that was simmilar. i was him and she was you. i eventually came around and realized i could love women. and i loved her, more than anyone i have ever loved before.
these are feelings that he has to realize on his own and i don't think there is much you can do.
do you only tell him that you love him or do you ever show him?
Posted by: at February 6, 2006 7:43 PMto the first poster: piss off
to the second: thank you so much. That give me hope and makes me think it can happen. Don't know if that's exactly whats best right now but it sure does make me feel better. And yes I do show him. I think it's very obvious that i care about him. My other friends seem to think so.
good luck. love figures out ways to work, you just have to be patient.
Posted by: at February 7, 2006 9:09 AMPiss off? Don't listen to the first poster! What? Please tell me why sticking my dick into someone's anal orfice is desirable or even genetically right? Disgusting! Homosexuality is a mental illness! There is no reason to desire someone from the same gender! Stop now and see a therapist! Try a relationship with a woman! They talk, walk, listen, love, and are wonderfull! Plusthey can procreate!
Posted by: at February 7, 2006 7:48 PMi've been in love with both men and women. they are both great. love had nothing to do with their gender. it was who they were that made it work.
Posted by: at February 8, 2006 4:23 PMYou know. Men talk and walk too. They can listen and love. Go figure. Now they still can't give brith to a hild, that's true, but they can sure as hell help make one and raise one just fine. Stop being stupid.
Posted by: at February 26, 2006 12:49 PM