My mom is so mean to me all the time, all she does is make me cry.
I get good grades, I truly do. I work hard to get close to a one hundred average in school, but on the downside she constantly pressures me to get a job and drive a car. The thing is, she never takes me out practicing and on the seldom occasion that she does I screw up because I hardly ever drive, and she yells at me when I do and makes me pull over to the side of the road so that she can take the wheel. I had one job that was seasonal help but now no one will hire me even when I call the places due to my lack of experience. I really do want to work, and I'm not making excuses. It's hard to put in applications when she refuses to drive me there because she is "tired", and even then it makes me wonder how I would even get there if I did get the job. And I do feel that I am intelligent, I could program any computer or write a novel, and I know that I will succeed when it comes to college. Would she rather me get bad grades in school but have my own crappy car and work at a meaningless job that I hate going to every day? Yes, money is nice. Having my own transportation would be wonderful. But, she thinks that it's all that life is about. I don't go out drinking, I don't smoke, I stay away from things that will hurt me. I try my best to please her, but it seems that I fall short because I depend on her too much.
Please, I need advice....
(PS- I'm a girl, not a momma's boy)
I feel for you. This is how I grew up. I was always expected to be the best. What happened was that when I did grow up I expected nothing but the best from myself. And am constantly disappointed in myself.
All you can do is be happy with what and who you are. Be honest with yourself and enjoy life.
Money and transportation are important aspects of life. It's a hard hit lesson, but once learned you can do anything.
Posted by: anon at February 22, 2006 2:05 PMThat really is tough. I feel for you. If the places you are applying for aren't too far, maybe you could take the bus? That's what I use to do in highschool. I was in a half day (ROP)Regional Occupational Program which meant I was off school by lunch to go to work the other half of the day and attended a night class once a week to learn occupational skills. I took buses, walked, rode my bike....whatever it took for me to get there.
Maybe your mom can pick you up when you get off of work late so that she's not so burdened to drive you to and from work, just FROM work, ya know.
Sounds like your mom wants you to get up on your feet but she isn't motivated to help you one bit. How nice of her. She just wants it done. That really sucks for you!
I feel your pain. My parents weren't supportive when I was growing up either. They practiced the "let them grow up fast by not being involved parents" policy. It harbored some resentment but I did learn valuable lessons. They did the best they could with the knowledge they had. I eventually stopped seeking their approval and did things that made me happy. Perhaps it's time you do the same.
You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, I know you'll do well in life. Good Luck!
Posted by: at February 22, 2006 6:31 PMI'm sorry that your mom isn't as supportive as she should be, but it sounds as though you are strong and smart enough to get through all of this.
Learning to drive and then getting over a fear of driving were difficult for me, but by the time I was 21, I drove myself (and 6 months of stuff) from Austin, Texas to Michigan. You can do it! Don't lose hope and keep practicing!
Hang in there! And have a heart to heart chat with your Mom.
Posted by: at February 22, 2006 8:10 PM
As an african american homosexual male with a mentally challenged half-brother, I too have mother issues. She is huge, and cannot get out of bed. My brother, who is mentally challenged, and I have to hoist her over with a pan to get her up so we can bathe her.
I suspect your mom isn't trying to be hard about your driving, but is just kind of freaked out about it. A lot of parents are terrified of teaching a teenager how to drive, and will act all stressy about it.
Posted by: at March 16, 2006 5:31 PM