In BREAKING NEWS Today His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear,Low Life Films Executive Producers and Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey are expected to arrive at His Excellency's East Coast Electronics Store early this afternoon. As of ten o'clock this morning a crowd of followers had already gathered in the parking lot shouting pro Kody chants. By eleven a hoard of green flys had arrived in anticipation of Magogo's arrival. Breaking news was on hand to interview some of the Bear's followers.
Excuse me Miss what is your name?
My name is Deep Throat Dianne and I promise if you let me do one of ya den the other one gonna want some too!
Are you here to see His Excellency?
Oh yes! I first met His Eminence when I was working as a street prostitute in New York City. His Excellency paid me ten dollars for a blow job!
And you Sir what is your name?
My name is Conical Joe and I'm here hoping that The KodyBear can heal my son. He's a waterhead boy. So far all we've been able to do is get him a big hat.
Well,good luck with that. And you Sir what is your name?
I am Iforce. I was His Excellency's tracker and gun bearer on all three of his hunting Safaris in Zimbabwe. I'm here because His Eminence promised to cure me of aids. I developed the illness on a trip to the SAGTRA complex in 2004.
It looks like His Excellency's Motor Car is Pulling into the parking lot now. Unbelievable! The green flys have already covered the exterior of the vehicle! The crowd is Chanting KODY! KODY! KODY! People are getting down on their knees many breaking out into tears of joy! The Bear is stepping out of the Car and making his way to the podium.
Humble followers! You may rise now! Please,it is not necessary to donate money! Those of you who need healed please form a line at the back of the van. I'm honored that so many of you came. We did not have this many followers together at my Huntington or Charleston W.Va stops!
Now before I resume my tour I would like to announce my July 2006 campaign against babiesonline.com. As you know in recent history I have posed as a newborn and been kicked off the site on three occasions. This will not be tolerated! On my next attack I will use a different name. This is triple top secret and I will divulge the name only when my engineers have the site up and running. Once again I thank you for your continued support!
As the van pulled away the parking lot quickly emptied as followers returned to their homes to worship in private. Only one man was left. He had impaled himself on a fire hydrant as a show of his faith.
Posted by anonymous at July 7, 2006 8:55 AM