A short interview with Their respective Excellencies, Robert Gabriel Mugabe and Kody R. Bear (and his stinky mangey pet monkey, Magogo)
Bob, Kodes, welcome to ...
YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTSUCKING SPAWN OF A WHORE, YOU WILL ALWAYS ADDRESS ME BY MY FULL TITLE!!!!
Oh, uh ... sorry, your majestic radiance ...
Hmph, not quite right, but acceptably original and respectful enough.
WHAT ABOUT ME??!
Oh, yes, sorry Comrade Robert Ga ...
NO NO NO! I’ve decided to drop all communist ties, so we can dispense with the comrade thing now ... Just “Your Excellency” will do ...
... Can we more along please?
Yes, your Esteemed Ursulance ... starting with your gracious self, ... You’re probably wondering why his Excellency the President of Zimbabwe has called you for this interview, right?
... No ... Not really ...
Er, yes, well anyway, he has decided to drop all charges against your pet rodent ...
YOU IGNORANT ASS ... A monkey, synthetic or not, IS NOT A RODENT!
Sorry your ever-radiant awesome exulted ...
... AND QUIT LICKING MY ASS ... Starting to get to me ... Anyway, what are you saying? IIs Bob here going to give him back his girlturd ranch?
No, sorry, but Mr Mugabe has informed me that ...
HELLO, I’m sitting here, I have a mouth and can speak for myself thank you very much. Oh Mr Kody Bear, I, my excellency etc etc, Robert Gabriel Mugabe have a confession to make ... I’ve fallen deeply, madly, PASSIONATELY in love ... with your marsupial. Therefore I have decided to drop ALL charges against you (and him) except for the crime of being white of course ... and you are now welcome in my country whenever you wish. Sadly, I cannot give him back his girlturd (which I believe is pronounced as one word) ranch but ...
Firstly, Bob, he’s not a marsupial, he’s a godamn motherfucking macarena MONKEY! And secondly, you can take your offer and shove it up your ass. He now has other newer and better prospects to attend to than SAGTRA so ... girlpooh to you! ... Hmph ... I've had enough now ... I'm going home.
SOB! MAGOGO ... NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the saga continues ... His Excellency has declared his undying love for his other more important Excellency’s pet amphibian ...
MONKEY YOU KNOB-JOCKEY!!!
Sorry ... Monkey ...