His Esteemed Eminence Excellency Kody R Bear relaxed in his private chambers aboard the Kody Sub. Happy to be on vacation from the Great Turd War he was reading this month's issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine and TV Guide. Vile Toxins seemed to be in decline lately and the BearTurd God needed some new Ideas. Hearing some disturbing sounds that might indicate stress on the sub's hull he quickly summoned his Ape-Servant (********** ** *** ****) Sir Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey. Getting no response he rushed to the control room only to find Magogo and Dooky passed out and the floor littered with empty containers of Old English and Fosters Lager cans. A glance at the depth gauge told him they were at almost two thousand fathoms.
"Goddammit", he shrieked. "You drunken bastards are going to kill us all! What do you think this is? The fucking Red October? Level us off at five hundred meters and see me in my chambers! Read the fucking manual will you?"
Twenty minutes later he heard his crew laughing,hopping and bumbling down the corridor on their way to his quarters.
"Both of you . I'm astounded at your stupidity! Here are your new orders. I want the TurdStar tracked. I want to know it's exact location at all times. I want the ocean water tested for girl urine every twelve hours! We are the saviors of the Earth! Dooky! I expect you to be well versed in the operations of this sub within one month. Perform well and you shall be rewarded with your own image-likeness! At that time Sir Magogo and myself will begin our European vacation and you will be in charge! Should Indy the Great attack it will be all on your ass! I'll be dammed if I have to have my Amsterdam Paris trip interrupted by this TurdWar bullshit! For the time being keep us on course for Cape Town. We have unfinished business there. I want to sample the prostitutes there. I here they are quite young and exotic. By the way Magogo did you see that the Dixie Chicks won five Grammy's? Yes? Hmm? Don't forget that when I ask you to compose for me again. Back to work!"
"Yes Yo Esteemed Irrelevance"
"What? What did you say?"
"Yes Yo Esteemed Radiance Relevance"
Posted by anonymous at February 13, 2007 5:46 PM"I here they are quite young and exotic"
should be
"I hear they are quite young and exotic"
It is apparent that Dooky has a great liking for cheap beer. You should see the beer belly he has. He is one chubby kangaroo, believe me.
Posted by: at February 14, 2007 6:39 AMI really don't get this drivel? Are these posts made by children?
Posted by: at February 14, 2007 7:28 AMSo post something, Commenter #3, and we'll critique it for you.
Posted by: at February 14, 2007 9:39 AMI love his Excellency The Kody Bear!!!
Posted by: at February 14, 2007 2:14 PMMe too! He's my hero!
Posted by: at February 14, 2007 3:22 PMgo Kody- go Kody- go Kody- hurrah
Posted by: at February 15, 2007 3:24 AMKody is the coolest bear on this web-site.
Posted by: at February 15, 2007 5:19 AMClan Crap!
Posted by: at February 15, 2007 5:59 AMLet me elaborate on Elsie's comment:
fume***sputter***choke***foam***complain***hate***seethe***slander***fume***sputter***
Posted by: at February 16, 2007 7:20 AMHey, let's start an I LOVE THE KODY club!!! Would you come visit us if we did?
Posted by: at February 16, 2007 9:09 PMCommenter #2, the Dooky is a trannyroo, not a kangaroo. Duh.
Posted by: at February 16, 2007 9:10 PMYes, Commenter #3. These posts are made by children. Yours.
Posted by: at February 17, 2007 3:42 PM