The KodyBear relaxed is his Bear-Captains-Quarters reading the Wall Street Journal and sipping a Rodney Strong Cabernet Sauvignon. He noticed that the cabin temperature was becoming increasingly warmer. Just as he was reaching for the Bear-Horn to summon Magogo a leak sprung over his head spraying bright yellow girlurine in his general direction. "Oh my! That is disgusting!", he shrieked, grabbing for his Bear-Captains hat and baseball bat. Upon opening the cabin door a tide of girlurin ocean water rushed over his feet and he began to wretch and vomit as he sloshed down the main corridor to the helm. There he found Magogo waist deep in filth attempting to patch the leaks with hundred dollar bills.
"Magogo! You were supposed to keep me informed as to the girlurine content of the Ocean!"
"I'm sorry Yo Eminence." The Monkey began to convulse and vomit on himself. "It happened real sudden like."
"Fuck you Magogo. You're nothing but a fake bitch, that doesn't give a shit about anyone but yourself. You like to talk about people behind their back and cause poopy chaos. You're a whore, you'll spread your legs for pretty much anyone that comes along.
"But Yo Benevolence. Yo hasn't got's no call to talk to me.....
'SIlence! I find your performance lacking as my first officer Magogo. What your doing there is never going to work. See here Magogo we'll make a poultice of sorts. First run a few hundred thousand dollars through the paper shredder. Next make a thick mixture of BearTurds,Monkey turds and Kangaroo droppings. Stir in the shredded money and plug up these leaks." The Bear had to pause a minute to projectile Bear vomit all over the main control panel. Wiping the bile off his chin he blurted, "Get us to the surface before I get sick."
"Yes Yo Benevolence."
Upon surfacing the three stepped onto the deck and had a look around. They floated on a frothy,steaming sea of yellow, soaked in piss. Dead fish and seagulls drifted by the slowly moving boat. BearTurd surveyed the situation. Fighting back his gag reflex he said, "This is probably not good for the environment. How far is Cape Town anyway?"
"Bout three mo days Yo Radiance."
"We can live with that I guess. You look a little green in th face Magogo. Serves you right what with that ridiculous giant dung beetle idea you sold me on. Exactly where is the TurdStar?"
"De MMTF say dey trackin it almost to Mars Yo Heinous."
"Mars? That is ludicrous. He's probably out there somewhere having a holiday. This is really pissing me off. Oh my goodness! Look to the East Magogo! What the hell is that?"
There in the twilight they could see a streak of glowing yellow extending from the horizon into the heavens.
"This is just too fucking bizarre", said Bearturd.
"Yeah right Yo Eminence."
Posted by anonymous at February 21, 2007 10:59 AM