Anonyblog

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear lay exhausted on the beach looking at the wreckage of the Kody Submarine. The sub was about one hundred yards offshore grounded on the reef with only the coning tower visible. Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey and Dooky were headed back in the life boat with the last load of cash. It took one hundred and twelve trips in all and Magogo, low on battery power, stumbled on the reef and inhaled a gallon of girlurine ocean water. He began to vomit immediately.

"Goddamn you Magogo!", croaked His Excellency. "Don't vomit on the money! Get your ass over here with that laptop and lets figure out where we are. See here my fur is completely stained yellow. You must get us a motor car and take us all somewhere to be cleaned. Then we must find a bank and something to eat."

"Motor car Yo Eminence? Shit. We gwine to needs a tracker trailer to tote all dis cash."

"Well you and Dooky handle it then. Can't you see that I'm sick? And Magogo please don't forget to bring batteries."

"Yes Yo Eminence. C'mon Dooky. We's gwine to handle some shit now."

The KodyBear languished on the beach using the urine soaked cash for shelter. The GPS on the laptop indicated that he was about one hundred kilometers East of Springbok. After what seemed like a week he heard the sound of a vehicle and then Magogo's unmistakable cursing and farting. When he next awoke he was in a luxurious bed with Magogo and Dooky at his side.

"Magogo! Dooky! Where's the money? Where am I?"

"We dun put most of de sixty billion in de Standard Bank of South Africa. De bank manganer he say de money smell like urine. You in de Radisson Yo Eminence. We dun had all our fur cleaned and Yo gots new lithium batteries to boot."

"Excellent. I'll take you both to dinner. What is your preference Sir Magogo?"

"I wants Mexican boss. Dooky say he ain't care as long as dey gots Fosters."

The Cantina Tequila was on the waterfront and had a wonderfully refreshing atmosphere. The Kody eyed the waitress with sad intent while Magogo gorged himself on tacos and burritos. Dooky was content with a salad but was consuming an alarming amount of beer.

"See here Magogo. That kangaroo is going to get fat if he keeps drinking like this. Now it's time we made a new plan what ? what? I don't think we have to worry about the Arch Nemesis for a while so we'll just stay here and explore Cape Town until we leave for Paris. Yes Hmm?"

"Dat be jis great Yo Eminence", said Magogo approaching his master.

"Magogo. Just what do you think your doing?"

Suddenly the Monkey turned, started laughing, and shit out the most horrendous mess of liquid burritos and tacos all over the table in the directions of the Kody. Dooky quietly hopped away from the table as the Kody jumped out of his seat not believing his eyes.

"Magogo! get the fuck out of here you toxic little bastard! Miss! Hey you! We'll take our check now please! El cheque! El cheque! Don't worry. We wont be back. At least not this filthy bugger.", he said, pointing at Magogo. "Dooky! Hop out there and get us a cab and be quick about it!"

In the cab on the way back to the hotel Magogo could not stop laughing.

"What the hell is the matter with you anyway Magogo? Where did you get such an idea to pull a stunt like that?"

"I done read it on Anonyblog.", Magogo snickered. It suppose to be de new sex move sweeping de whole world. An it suppose to be a surprise too."

"Magogo you Sir are a mongrel breeder. You simply must set a better example for young Dooky here and stop reading the pure rubbish that gets posted on that site. Why don't you do something constructive like work on our Paris itinerary? Oh! Look! We've received an e-mail from Low Life Films! How exciting! Monster patrol? I don't remember doing that."

"Dat sho nuff is some great film making Yo Eminence."

Posted by anonymous at February 27, 2007 12:45 PM