March 18, 2007

RETIREMENT

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it
becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.


My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for
Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after
she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I
usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
from work.


Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
her.


Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the
club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked
grub when I hit that door She used to do the dishes as soon as we
finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table
for several hours after dinner.


I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done
before she goes to bed.


Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so
I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of
my strong points.


When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the
yard.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a
nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a
while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.


I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However,
guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of
your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing
it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help
each other.


Signed Jim


EDITOR'S NOTE:


Jim died suddenly on July 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report
says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver
II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby.


His wife Peggy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman
jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her
defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on
his golf club.

Posted by anonymous at March 18, 2007 7:26 AM
Comments

King/Queen of copy & paste, aren't we? Spam your email buddies with this stuff, not Anonyblog, PLEASE!

Posted by: at March 18, 2007 11:50 AM

This is Anonyblog, I will do as I want, so....

FUCK YOU!

Posted by: at March 18, 2007 12:01 PM

No, fuck YOU.

Posted by: at March 18, 2007 2:41 PM

I wish this story were true. There arn't enough justified homicides to stupid men out there.

Posted by: at March 18, 2007 4:55 PM

that is beyond sick.

Posted by: at March 18, 2007 7:46 PM

Comment #4 (and this whole stupid story) is so typical of today's society. This is the decade of the "stupid male". Now males are portrayed as insensitive dull-witted dimwits who repeatedly "don't get it" and only exist to let down their poor spouse.

The stupid male is everywhere, but largely in the media - how many advertisements have you seen where, once again, Bob fucks up (tapes over the wedding video with a football game or something) and Sue just rolls her eyes ...

Stupid male.

Posted by: at March 19, 2007 2:37 AM

I got a laugh out of it. If you have more like this please feel free to post it here as I would not have been able to see it if you only spam your email buddies.

Posted by: at March 19, 2007 3:47 AM

You know what, Commenter #6? From where I'm sitting, especially today, men really are insensitive dull-witted dimwits who repeatedly "don't get it" and only exist to let down their poor spouse. God knows mine has let me down.

Posted by: at March 19, 2007 10:32 AM

Yes, commenter #8, that's true, a lot of PEOPLE are insensitive dull-witted dimwits, BUT THEY AREN'T ALL MALES! Believe it or not there are some nice guys out there! (no, really) The main problem is that the nice guys are invariably not very attractive to females ... simply because they are too nice. In the end it all boils down to animal instincts - we fuck and fight. Those males who don't seem to want to fight as much are less likely to be chosen by the female - they appear to lack confidence or whatever that certain something is that makes them attractive. Ergo, darlings, it's just as much your fault for picking the wrong type of guy, the one who'll fight for you until he gets what he wants (ie a fuck) and then let you down in the end ... So stop complaining so much.

Posted by: at March 19, 2007 12:26 PM

Oh, poor, poor men! Awwwww, they're being portrayed as dimwits in the media? Awwwwww, the poor things. They're being treated like...like...like WOMEN HAVE BEEN TREATED SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME!!!!!!

It's a simple principle, really. It goes like this: turnabout is fair play. Don't like that one? Try: you reap what you sow; the shoe is on the other foot; the worm has turned.

Posted by: at March 21, 2007 12:02 PM

Yawn. Same old cry.

We're onto metaphors now? How about two wrongs don't make a right?

Posted by: at March 21, 2007 3:04 PM
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