August 23, 2007
***** BREAKING NEWS *****
MAGOGO THE SINGING DANCING MACARENA MONKEY CHARGED WITH KANGAROO FIGHTING
Today in Cape Town South Africa an angry crowd of PETA members protested in the lobby of The Kensington Palace where Magogo Magogo still maintains a suite and a lavish lifestyle under the blanket of Klan protection. As PETA officials investigate the hap hazard disappearance of Dookey the Kangaroo earlier this spring in the Catacombs of Paris Magogo continues to maintain his innocence. However PETA suggests that a sinister plot underlies the Kangaroo's disappearance and that Magogo had billions of dollars to gain as he stands to inherit a controlling share of the Kangaroo Mart Franchise.
"We cannot accept this fantasy that Dookey was stolen by some Parisian child and now lives an anonymous but happy life in France. Magogo has known ties to Kangaroo fighting and there is circumstantial evidence that he has been involved in dog fighting in the past", said one PETA official.
Breaking News reporters, although declined at first, were granted a brief interview with His Esteemed Eminence Excellency Kody R Bear. We found the Bear in his suite at the Radisson gorging himself on fermented apples and writing alcohol fueled posts on MySpace.
"Your Excellency........
"Silence! Who invited you here? Where are we?"
"Your Eminence you said we could come."
"Really? Very well then. I must have forgotten. Now, I'm very busy. What is it?"
"Your Radiance, we were hoping to get a statement from you regarding the controversy surrounding Mago.....
"Oh. That whole situation is ludicrous. Need I remind you that those people are the same people who were stuffing gerbils up their asses twenty years ago! Sir Magogo is innocent! He loved Dookey. In addition Magogo does not even like dogs. He had a Doberman, Oh, I don't know, it was years ago. He kept it in a small crate to stunt it's growth and eventually left it chained outside until it died of starvation and exposure. I forget it's name. Those bastards should leave my Monkey alone. He's suffering from an advanced state of gold chain disease as it is. I can't understand how he even changes his own batteries with all those chains around his neck. Never the less if this comes to a trial I'll rig the jury, all Macarena Monkeys! I'll buy the judge! I learned a lot living in the United States. Leave me now. I grow fatigued of this nonsense!"
"Immediately Your Eminence."
Posted by anonymous at August 23, 2007 8:26 AMSince when has the Dooky's name been spelled with an "e" in it???
Posted by: at August 24, 2007 9:52 AMI have photographs of Magogo hanging out with Paris Hilton over to that "Vick-what ever his name is" mansion wagging bets on the dog fights. Hell, my witness even says that both Magogo and and Paris took pleasure in killing the losing dogs.
Posted by: at August 25, 2007 6:21 AMBrilliant post, my dragon cub!
Posted by: at August 25, 2007 6:45 AMYo, this is Paris, last year I dropped my little dog in to the ring and a pit-bull dog ate it in one bite, and my friend Magogo started laughing and saying something about eating a bunch of hits of acid when he was at a party in Boston.
Posted by: at August 25, 2007 7:55 AMJust cos Paris Hilton is named after a capital city doesn't mean that she's, ya know, the shit. In fact she's just a spoilt brat who doesn't know any better ... don't be fooled (by the rock's that she's got ... she's still [she's still] Paris from the [fucking] block)
Yeah, I know ... "rocks" doesn't have a fucking apostrophe, you nerds. I put that in just to piss you off even more.
Yeah, LC. I'm sure you did.
Posted by: at August 26, 2007 6:47 AMclan crap! nice though as the clanner posts are so very few far and between.
Posted by: at August 28, 2007 8:07 AMLC, I'll bet you got an erection at the mere thought of having the opportunity to say "clan crap" again!
Posted by: at August 28, 2007 10:10 AMyeah well ... um ... FUCK YOU!
Tee hee, let's have a war, let's have a war!!!