I'm a 36 yr old working class stiff and I've been married for seven years and have been with my wife for two years before we got married; this is not a casual relationship. I'm pretty sure it was about two years ago that I just kind of realised that I didn't love my wife anymore. The old saying, "opposites attract", was definitely true for us but they never say anything about those opposites staying together.
So I made up my mind after our five thousandth fight that I was tried of this shit and we weren't working anything out; that I was going to leave her once I could figure out how to sell the house and get all my stuff squared away. The next week she woke me up to tell me that she was pregnant.
Fuck.
The birth of my son was the single greatest event in my life. Now he is seven months old and I love him to pieces. He is everything anyone could ever hope for in a child. But I still don't love my wife anymore. We both work and the grandma watches the boy during the day, and we watch him grow up so quickly. I know that if I leave her, I leave him too and that breaks my heart. So I figure I have about 10 more years in this sexless, polite marriage. I've got it all worked out see, I'll watch him grow up, play baseball with him; teach him to ride a bike. And then once he's old enough to always recognise me as his father, I'll split.
Great plan, eh? Except that I don't want to miss one day of his life...
Posted by anonymous at August 27, 2007 10:45 PMYou are stuck between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? Ten years is not a long enough time to wait before you move on; the boy will not understand at that age. You need to be in it for the long haul, or you need to get out now and make sure you have generous visitation, and never, never EVER blow it off for any reason. That would be better than years of fighting with and cheating on your wife. You need to set a good example for your son, or at least a less bad one.
Posted by: at September 2, 2007 5:06 PMDo the words "For Better or Worse" even sound vaguely familiar! Be a man and tough it out.
Posted by: at September 4, 2007 11:08 AMThe worst thing you could do to that kid is leave. For his sake, stick around. Treat his mother with respect, even if you can't stand her. If you need help, look for a Church to call. They are there to help.
Posted by: jimrob at September 4, 2007 2:42 PMSounds to me like you need to focus on the good points of your wife. Treat her the way you want to be treated and you two can fall back in love again. For better or worse means just that... Try church or marriage counseling (if she won't go YOU go to counseling work on yourself!)
Posted by: at September 4, 2007 5:18 PMI must assume that the comments above(#2,#3,#4) are left by women. I know it is difficult for you all to realize that this man's wife is a bitch. Please read the post closely. He clearly points this out. Your advice to "tough it out" is misguided. People should not stay married for the kids. That is just stupid. You three should try and become more educated on the subject before giving such advice.
#1, your advice is good. There are choices. Your child will suffer growing up in a home where the parents fight frequently.
Posted by: at September 5, 2007 3:55 PMGuess what? I don't know about commenters 2,3 and 4, but #1 is definitely a woman. Unless my husband has been lying to me all these years and I'm actually a faggot.
Posted by: at September 5, 2007 5:30 PMHey welcome to my world!! i left my first wife while she was pregnant with my son. The reason I left was we couldn't stand eachother. she got pregnant after i left once and tried to make it work. the day I left was the day I asked her to tell me one thing she liked, not loved about me, all she could do was srug her shoulders. my second wife i have been with for 13 years. we have been through some really hard times but worked togeter to get through. today none of that matters. She, even though she would tell you I'm wrong, likes less about me than my first wife. I don't have the balls to go. Everyday I regret that. if you think you can go RUN!! Just don't let anyone get between you and your child. I did and I can bearly live with myself.
Put your head up. Be your own man. Do what you need to do. She will never do it for you.
Posted by: Jamie at September 5, 2007 11:56 PMSo #6, You are actually a faggot, are you?
Posted by: at September 8, 2007 10:22 AM