Men are so fucked up. Whining all the time about petty shit. Fuck the men with a sense of entiltlement who have never worked hard to obtain something. For those who have, they could only understand. To be a good person with good intentions, things to offer, and to be alone. I hate being alone. No one understands. Not that I need someone, I just would like to have someone to be there. To share things with me, good and bad. Someone to have some history with when I take my last breath. Is that too much to ask? Not to run home to mother or abandon me because they are scared to be an adult. Take the child. I worked my ass off! So what if you wanted to do something that was more "acceptable" to the family or you. I make good money. You made a promise to me. You don't break promises. Oh yeah, I guess some do. Most do. I don't. But I can only take so much. Maybe I care too deeply. Maybe I have boundaries. Some you don't cross.
Maybe you don't know what it's like to grow up not being wanted then falling for some lies about loving you and wanting to be there. You don't play with someone's emotions that way. I tried to play it safe. I didn't want to have feelings for you. Too much risk. But those who have never been there don't understand the risk. Those who aren't left totally alone in this world. Did I metion this world is fucked up? I will make it. I will be ok. I always am. I will figure it out. Screw you!
Men are all fucked up! Once they get you they don't know what to do with you. I am not a work horse for someone. I have feelings too. I want to build something with someone. Why do you only want to have it your way- and only if it fits into your perfect world?
Posted by anonymous at August 28, 2007 12:20 AMNot all men are fucked up, and just because he wasn't the man for you doesn't mean he's fucked up, either. It's natural to lash out the way you have when you've been hurt. But trust me, you just haven't found your soulmate yet. I am very, very lucky to have found mine, but I was in my 40's before I did. Be patient, and stop looking so hard. The real thing usually hits you when you aren't looking for it.
Posted by: at September 2, 2007 4:59 PMI'm sorry this happened to you. It is happening to me now too, though I'm male - my wife has left me after a few years of marriage. I put her through grad school, supported her so she did not have to work. Even though I work hard to sustain us, she does not do very much domestically (And I don't think she has to because she's female, I just think it would be nice since I work full-time and she is at home far more often than me). I bought her lots of nice things. I bought her a MacBook Pro the day before she left.
There are too many casually cruel people in this world. They will exploit and use you and not feel very guilty about it... or if they do feel guilt, they turn it into defensiveness and lash out.
Oh, and don't listen to all those well-meaning people who tell you to "stop looking" (no offense to the other commentor who meant well I'm sure), it doesn't help when you're hurting like this. The fact is that you've been treated badly and you didn't deserve it, and that sucks. I feel for you. The best thing to do is learn what you can from the experience, and look for the signs of this behavior next time. Don't choose another one like this one again. In fact if you conclude all men are like this, you massively increase the chances of keeping the cycle going and accepting that you have to settle for this type of guy.
There are many good people out there and we can better determine who they are once we make a firm decision to love and take care of ourselves, and know that we're worth it and are better than that.
Take care.
Posted by: at September 3, 2007 7:13 AMSC: I didn't tell her to stop looking; I said to stop looking so hard. And thank you, I did mean well.
OP, I've been where you are now. I understand. Take SC's advice and learn from your experience. It is better to be alone than to be with the wrong man. It is essential that you learn this before your life turns into a cycle of heartbreak after heartbreak. For now, accept your grief. Don't deny it; wallow in it until you're tired of it. It takes time, but it will get better.
I will be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way.
Posted by: at September 5, 2007 5:43 AM