Anonyblog

Dog diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, Gunther,
and was in line to check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog..... Duh!!..

I was feeling a bit irritable, so on impulse I told her, "NO, I was
starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because
I ended up in the hospital the last time...but I did lose 50 lbs. before
waking up in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms."

Her eyes bulged out of her head. I went on with the bogus diet story
and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy,inexpensive
diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.

The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
line was now enthralled with my story, particularly the tall guy behind
her.)

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me,
and was that why I ended up in the hospital?

I said, "no.... I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my
ass when a car hit me."

I thought the tall guy was going to need to be carried out the door.
He was laughing so hard he couldn't move!

Posted by anonymous at August 29, 2007 8:22 PM