I broke up with my g/f in May 2006, but we had to live together 'til August 2006. Once I moved out we got along better (but not great). In Nov. 2006, my dad died, and she travelled with me to my hometown for 1 week. It was like we were dating again.
Skip to spring 2007. We are still hanging out, occassionally having sex, but also fighting like when we dated.
We had sex March 15th.
April 10th, I moved out of the US. We were still friends, sad to go, but happy too. A new life for both.
April 18th, I am in Asia, she calls. "I am pregnant."
For the next week, we debate keeping/ending the pregnancy. At times I am for/against it.
Finally, I say we should not because money/our jobs/our broken relationship.
She says she wants to keep it.
I come home in Sept. 2007, we get along fairly well. she is thrilled about the pregnancy, I am still in shock about it.
Baby is born in December2007. She is off from work til Feb. 2008. I work from home.
Dealing with a baby is extremely difficult.
Some days, I just wanna pack my bags and get on a plane. I would of course pay child support, but I feel guilty for wanting to leave. I feel I would embarrass/shame myself..... I would disappoint her family....I would be rejecting her in her time of need....my mom would be so sad...... our dog would have to stay in the US with her.......our child would logically have to stay with her........how could I see the child if I am overseas.....
It is such a weight on my heart. I love this person so much, but we cannot live together. We have tried it in 3 different places.............I does not work.
Any advice?
Posted by anonymous at January 24, 2008 10:38 PMAll I can say is that you live near your ex and your child.. but not at the same place.. obviously you and your ex are GREAT friends.. and you were at one stage prepared to leave.
If you keep this unhappy relationship up for the the child's sake, it won't work.. If you love your ex, then really talk about it.. and how you both can make it work..
if not.. move out, pay child support, and all those things that you need to do to make your child happy...
If you're happy, and your ex is happy, then there is so much more oppurtunity for your child to be happy.. even if you do live apart (but near) and look so happy when ever you come around to play with him or her.. that's what he or she will remember...
Posted by: at January 27, 2008 7:28 PMi was in the same boat as you ,my girlfriend got pregnant 3 months into our relationship. we stuck together with a mutual respect for eachothers wishes, its gotta be give and take no matter what relationship your in. Any way nine months later my daughter was born, i felt sort of left out the picture,{thanks for the sperm see ya later sort of thing.} I got drunk with some friends off mine who are also fathers, and i told them i felt guilty cos i don't seem to feel any-thing for the baby, they all had the same feelings at ther point in time and told me as much. Women have an instant bond with ther babys, what with them growing inside them etc.. my feeling as i father grew a hell of alot stronger as my daughter started to grow. When her character started to develop. Can't explain why, it just did. The crying stops abit you can communicate in a sort of way. Kids will come to ther fathers for playtime and ther mothers for when ther sick or for cuddles and stuff, thats just the way it is. Hope i didn't replie to this to late, try and give it a go with the mother,n just remember respect. YOUR BABY AND YOUR GIRL COMES BEFORE EVERYTHING, think that attitude and everything will be cool. You miss out on your childs upbringing you will regret it in the future. Also try not to think too much just enjoy everthing that comes with being a father.{even hair loss and broken dvd players with biscuits in.}
Posted by: iknowwhatyoumean,but... at January 29, 2008 11:47 AMi was in the same boat as you ,my girlfriend got pregnant 3 months into our relationship. we stuck together with a mutual respect for eachothers wishes, its gotta be give and take no matter what relationship your in. Any way nine months later my daughter was born, i felt sort of left out the picture,{thanks for the sperm see ya later sort of thing.} I got drunk with some friends off mine who are also fathers, and i told them i felt guilty cos i don't seem to feel any-thing for the baby, they all had the same feelings at ther point in time and told me as much. Women have an instant bond with ther babys, what with them growing inside them etc.. my feeling as i father grew a hell of alot stronger as my daughter started to grow. When her character started to develop. Can't explain why, it just did. The crying stops abit you can communicate in a sort of way. Kids will come to ther fathers for playtime and ther mothers for when ther sick or for cuddles and stuff, thats just the way it is. Hope i didn't replie to this to late, try and give it a go with the mother,n just remember respect. YOUR BABY AND YOUR GIRL COMES BEFORE EVERYTHING, think that attitude and everything will be cool. You miss out on your childs upbringing you will regret it in the future. Also try not to think too much just enjoy everthing that comes with being a father.{even hair loss and broken dvd players with biscuits in.}
Posted by: iknowwhatyoumean,but... at January 29, 2008 11:47 AMi was in the same boat as you ,my girlfriend got pregnant 3 months into our relationship. we stuck together with a mutual respect for eachothers wishes, its gotta be give and take no matter what relationship your in. Any way nine months later my daughter was born, i felt sort of left out the picture,{thanks for the sperm see ya later sort of thing.} I got drunk with some friends off mine who are also fathers, and i told them i felt guilty cos i don't seem to feel any-thing for the baby, they all had the same feelings at ther point in time and told me as much. Women have an instant bond with ther babys, what with them growing inside them etc.. my feeling as i father grew a hell of alot stronger as my daughter started to grow. When her character started to develop. Can't explain why, it just did. The crying stops abit you can communicate in a sort of way. Kids will come to ther fathers for playtime and ther mothers for when ther sick or for cuddles and stuff, thats just the way it is. Hope i didn't replie to this to late, try and give it a go with the mother,n just remember respect. YOUR BABY AND YOUR GIRL COMES BEFORE EVERYTHING, think that attitude and everything will be cool. You miss out on your childs upbringing you will regret it in the future. Also try not to think too much just enjoy everthing that comes with being a father.{even hair loss and broken dvd players with biscuits in.}
Posted by: iknowwhatyoumean,but... at January 29, 2008 11:47 AMKill yourself.
Posted by: at February 5, 2008 6:55 AM