I'm one of these silly individuals who likes everyone to be happy. I also like everyone to think kindly of me. And i'm willing to help anyone who comes to me with a question.
But I think i'm at the point where I need some answers. (Why are these things ALWAYS about girls?)
Firstly. there was a girl I met a while ago. It started as a crush on the girl behind the counter at the local cafe. and I was quite happy to leave it at that. But as we all know, matters of the heart weave a horrible complicated mess.
It started with what I thought harmless flirting, on both sides, and some conversation while I was waiting for my lunch to be prepared. This lasted for about 3 months until we started on the Facebook chat. And then MSN and texting.. and within a week we were having 'discussion' in the car out the front of a party I was at. nothing sexual just some kissing and the like. This happened about three times and then she starts giving me all this talk about her ex.
Now. I'm not the jealous type, I understand that almost everyone has some excess baggage, but this is the sort of discussion that could have been happened for say the previous three months. Then just on New Years she tells me that she'd like to be 'just friends' (got i hate those words).
Needless to say. I didn't like that too much, and i told her as much. I told her we don't hang out with the same group of friends, we only ever met up a couple of times outside of a 'work' environment. and so i said I'm not prepared to be just friends.
So I thought a clean break, give me time to get over her (even though it was only a short time, i'm a hopeless romantic and still need time). But then she starts back on the MSN. and now she's telling me about how her ex is staying around. and staying the night sometime.
I don't need this. I thought that I was reasonably fair with what I said. I wasn't trying to lead this girl on. I just wanted something more than 'just friends'. I've done that too often in the past.. and it JUST DOESN'T WORK!
How do I do what's right by her, and look after myself at the same time...??
Okay that was part one....
Secondly.... I have some friends of mine who have recently broken up (about 3 months ago). At the time it was a mutual breakup.
Since then then my housemate(Boy B) has shown some interest in the girl. Understandably he's been talking to me about it for quite some time. What's awkward is that the girl in this equation has also been talking to be about this situation as well...
They are both prepared to take things slowly and not rush into things, and have been out on a few dates. Everything looked good.
Two weeks ago, Boy A is back on the scene and is letting the girl know that he's interested in getting back with her. I don't blame him, they had a long relationship and he can remember what was good about it. And who does Boy A turn to for an ear to have a chat with.. Yeah.. me.. So i'm hearing three sides to the same story.. I think I know it better than the three of them.
The main issue is that Boy A and Boy B are friends as well. And now Boy A feels that Boy B moved in too quickly. (it was about 3-4 weeks after they broke up). Boy A is making both the girl and Boy B feel guilty about things.
What I want to know is if there is a nice way I can let Boy A know that it may be a good idea for him to move on (as hard as that might be) while not betraying what anyone has said to me..
I do like a complicated life...
Aussie...
Posted by anonymous at January 27, 2008 8:01 PMTo answer the "what I want to know" part is: Nope. It's one thing to have three people confiding in you about something; it's quite another to go blabbing things you were told in confidence. Just sit back and let the chips fall where they may. It's not your problem. Don't meddle.
Posted by: at February 1, 2008 7:23 AM