Anonyblog

i just get so sick of hating it all.

i get tired of trying. i know how lazy that sounds but i do. i try so hard not to hate myself. i try so hard to get my act together. i try so hard to make friends- or at least have some type of social interaction. it hurts i try so hard. i hate that i have to try and i hate that it hurts to try. i just hate it all. i'm tired of hating it all. when does it get easier? i'm pretty sure it gets better because i watch everyone else coast though life having a grand old time. what makes it so easy for them? what gives then the ability or the right to be happy like that? when will it be my turn? will it ever be my turn? it just doesn't seem fair- i dont want to keep struggling but i dont know what my choices are. yeh, i could say i'm gonna go off myself in the bathroom. but lets be realistic- if that had been the path meant for me it would have happened already. i think i was meant to just have to suffer through life as someone wwho cannot enjoy it. thats my punishment, i dont know why.