what do I even WANT?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
This can't be me, this is definitely not my life. I'm not who I thought I would be. Where did I go wrong?
I. Am. Weak.
If I would have known I was going to end up where I am, I would have at least enjoyed the journey thus far a little more. Damnit. So many things I thought I could do later on. And I'm not even fucking old yet.
I just keep SCREAMING (<---just like that) but only on the inside.
He's so sweet, I wanna lick the wrapper.
See what I mean? So lost I don't even have priorities. I don't even eat anymore unless I find it really, really, necessary. I think I am starving myself just to make sure I can still feel. It's like the only thing I have that I can control. Just to make sure I am still doing SOMETHING. It is becoming an obsession, and you are the only people that know about it. Which is funny because it's not like i'm anorexic and i'm trying to hide the fact that I am starving myself from everyone. It's just that no one pays attention anyways. This is pathetic. Like a child crying out for someone to look at them. I just need to be slapped or something.
...starving for attention...for whatever it is that I seem to be lacking.
I am in total control.
?
You need a break. Come to the beach and relax in the Sun. Put your toes in the sand all day and party all night. Just let me know when you are ready.
Posted by: at April 23, 2008 10:19 AMYeah, as soon as I stop puking I will go. :)
Honest, I really do want to, it's just impossible for me to get away any time soon.
Donkey Chain
Posted by: at April 23, 2008 10:52 AM