May 11, 2008
K (KODYBEAR)
"Good Lord Magogo! Look at us! Those were the day's aye old chap", squeeled the Kody Bear.
"Yes de sho nuff was Yo Eminence. I'sa often dun wishes we coulds be a fighten de Great Turd War again. We ain'ts gotsta nuffin to do now", lamented Magogo.
"Get this through your head Magogo. Those days are gone. Instantaneous posting. Gone. World travel. Gone. Jeeze! Look at me! I'm as white as a gallon of milk and you want to start Turd Ranching in Zimbabwe? Turd Cannons! Gone! As I've tried to tell you our future on the Internet lies in social networking! MySpace! Face Book! Fling! You need to get busy Magogo!", squeaked the Bear.
"I know dat Yo Eminence. It's just dat I'sa been involved wid dis woman and I'sa in love wid her and it dun be affectin my work fo de Klan."
"Well Goddammit. Who the hell is it?", growled the Bear.
"Yo Benevolence. She call her self Lisa Ann. She one of Mah good MySpace friends."
"Ya know what Magogo. You're a fucking idiot! You think Lisa Ann is your friend!?. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!. She's a goddamn porn star who doesn't even know you exist! What the fuck's the matter with you anyway? This has been what I've been trying to tell you Nagogo. You have much promise! You are young and you don't need to be hampered by any relationships at all.", bellowed the Bear.
"But Yo Radiance I'sa in love wid her.", cried the Monkey.
"Let me tell you something right now you Goddamn heathen fuck! I, His Excellency, has wasted years on relationships that were doomed to failure. I recently wasted ten years of my Bear Life ((pronounced as one word) if he won't do it then I'll be happy to take over)). Now I have wasted the last seven years with a humann woman with whom I am deeply in love with and she doesn't give a Goddamn rat's ass about me! You need to get your shit together Nagogo and look out for yourself! You have a promising career with the Klan. If you choose to do something else, I'm sure you can be replaced."
"But Yo Eminence............"
"Silence! What is your shelf life anyway? Forty years at least! Do what is best for YOU Magogo! Don't let anyone bring you down! Don't waste precious time on frivolous relationships!
"Yes Yo Benevolent Radiance"
Posted by anonymous at May 11, 2008 1:33 PMSo subtle! Ha!
Posted by: N at May 14, 2008 9:04 AMI'm trying to laugh.
Posted by: J at May 14, 2008 10:55 AMDoes this mean you have given up on R and are willing to move on now? Good. No, great!
Posted by: at May 15, 2008 5:43 AMGood job, ol' chap
Posted by: at May 15, 2008 11:34 AMNo. Not give up on that.
Posted by: at May 15, 2008 10:52 PMYes. Give up on that.
Posted by: at May 16, 2008 7:40 AMYes, give up on that.?
Posted by: N at May 16, 2008 1:47 PMI'm not giving up and that's final.
Posted by: at May 18, 2008 11:44 AM"Now I have wasted the last seven years with a humann woman with whom I am deeply in love with and she doesn't give a Goddamn rat's ass about me!"
Your words, dude.
Posted by: at May 18, 2008 4:34 PMNo. Not my words. That was Sanchez.
Posted by: at May 19, 2008 9:16 PMAh, Sanchez. You shouldn't let Sanchez out so often.
Posted by: at May 21, 2008 7:15 AMGo ahead, your excellency. Waste your time on whatsherface because there is NO SUCH THING as love anyways!!! It's all just a bunch of frivolous relationships and there's always one person who is LYING and does not really care! ARGH!!
Do either of you have a hot tub? That trip is looking better every day.
Posted by: N at May 21, 2008 8:55 PMAbsolutely! There is a hot tub. Even better. It's in the bar! And there is such a thing as love. I really and I mean really do love my monkey. I know I'm abusive and condescending towards him but he really is a good ole monkey. I have great plans for him at the Festival of Merapi! He will also play a major role in "The Aristocrats"
Posted by: at May 22, 2008 10:26 PMI saw something on the discovery channel about some kind of mass migration of primates all heading in a direction that appears to converge at some place. If that related to the festival of Merapi?
Posted by: at May 23, 2008 2:59 AM