I'm so lonely i could cry.
I have not been single since i was 15 years old... I'm 39 now. My whole life has been children and partners, i have 2 older children of 20 and 18 and two small children of 4 and 2.
In january i left my partner of 7 years because of domestic violence and while i'm happy to be out of the relationship i'm lonely.
I don't miss either ex (only had 2 relationships) And i'm intelligent enough to relaise that what i actually miss is male contact, cuddling, chatting, kissing and of course sex.
I did join a dating agency but i was overwhelmed by offers of one night stands/ casual sex and my morals just wont allow me to do that. I'm not a prude at all, i'm a very passionate woman but i just can't do sex without feelings.
There was one man who emailed for a while and he was everything i was looking for, his picture was gorgeous etc. So we met to see if the relationship could go further (as in the real world not the sex)
His personality was as it was online, kind, gentle, considerate. His looks were stunning (richard hammond the hampster type) but he forgot to tell me that he was only 5ft 2. I'm 5ft 7 and turned up in heels. when he hugged me his face was in my boobs lol
I'm gutted. I'm in love with his personality and his face but his height and build (very slight) are an issue for me so i have ended the relationship.
All this has got me thinking that maybe i'm shallow and my morals are not what i thought they were.
And all i have is this big gaping hole in my life where he used to be.
Yes i know it's funny but i'm hurting. I'm lonely. I'm peed off with myself for being so shallow. And i'm wondering if there really is a man out there for me
Helen
xxxx
you are shallow and idiot and no there is no one out here for you. too bad now go away
Posted by: Jenkins at May 14, 2008 10:43 AMyou are shallow and idiot. there is no one for you. go away.
Posted by: jam at May 14, 2008 10:51 AMIf you would just get on your back, the height issue wouldn't be so obvious. Don't be so shallow.
Posted by: J at May 14, 2008 10:59 AMoh i can't tell you how much your comments have helped me.
thanks ever so much :(
Helen
Posted by: at May 14, 2008 12:31 PMno you're not shallow, we all have expectations of a partner and he didnt meet yours. It doesnt matter that it was appearance that was not what you were expecting, if you were out at a club would you have even looked twice?
If you saw a man at a club, really liked him, started chatting and found his personality was not what you were looking for, would that make you shallow? No.
Posted by: at May 15, 2008 3:44 AMNo, I don't think you're shallow either. I don't think there is anything wrong with picking your mate! Ha! Really, I've always said that I could not be in a relationship if I was not actually attracted to the guy. It just doesn't work if there is something wrong.
And you know what? There really are other fishies in the sea. Really. Do not compromise because it seems you have been compromising all of your life. What you are looking for right now is the person who is right for you, and I think you should do or die! (It might be literally)
Good luck and all. Maybe you need a hobby to take your mind off of it a little.
Posted by: N at May 15, 2008 7:31 AMuse your kids. go to PTA meetings and perchance meet other single parents.
don't worry about being shallow. The term was created by ugly people to guilt prettier people into marrying them
Posted by: at May 15, 2008 2:57 PMNo, you're not shallow. There has to be a physical attraction as well as an emotional one for a relationship such as the one you're seeking. If there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. But you may want to consider seeing him a few more times to allow that chemistry to happen, if it can. Your first impression may have put you off, but sometimes it takes a while for that chemistry to reveal itself. You weren't planning to jump into bed with him on your first date, were you? Maybe you should see him a few more times before crossing him off your list.
Posted by: at May 16, 2008 7:40 AMHow would you like to spend your days traveling around the world in a quest for world domination - "jet setting" to all the great places? How would you like to eat the finest foods prepared by a world-class chef? If spreading your legs for constant puss pounding doesn’t bother you. You need to express your interest as a possible concubine for His Esteemed Excellence, Kody R. Bear.
Posted by: at May 17, 2008 7:03 AMDon't talk about your weak points in front of other people.
Posted by: jaunty_mellifluous at May 18, 2008 12:19 AMThere is nothing wrong with talking about your weak points in front of other people. Just remember that some people are assholes and say mean things, rather than realizing they have their own weak points.
Posted by: N at May 18, 2008 2:40 PMI think in relationships you have to make compromises..there is no such thing as a perfect partner. You take the good with the bad..as in everything else in life, right? If you love this guy's personality and looks then don't dump him just because he's not tall enough..common! That's ridiculous..I don't mean to be negative but you only get so much in life..don't miss out on any opportunities you DO get.
Posted by: P at May 25, 2008 4:27 AMI love how everyone is using names and initials now
Posted by: N at May 26, 2008 12:36 PMYes N, I love it too.
La!
Ooohh wow that's a new one!
Posted by: N at May 27, 2008 8:05 PM