im a male and 18, wish i was still 16=[ i dont want to age.and i hate the desicions i have to make.
my dad died when i was 7 and my mums a drug addict who abandoned me and my older brother and younger sister one after another and left us with our nan. We all have different dads. When i was born i was shifted among lots of different people, and witnessed lots of different things, mainly drug taking, mainly by my mum. Ive never had a father or mother figure, i have my nan, buts shes brought up all her kids and is old and cant give me the love i need tbh. I started living with my nan full time at 5, i seen my dad now and again but he was an alcholic (who later reformed but then died of neamonia) well anyways as i said ive never had a mum or dad, i think this has really fucked me up. I cant get close to people, and although i always seem happy to people, im not, im always fukin depressed. i just put a permanent smile on and get on with it. Anyways im 18 now n im bi, but just want to be straight, im in sixthform but can never be bothered doing anything, totaly unmotivated!, i just dont know what i want from life, i scale the interent looking for something, i dont even know what it is, i just want to find what ever im looking for, i also want to start a fresh were no one knows me, but how can i do that with no job or money?i want to live my life not just survive, i want to be really happy and fall in love and do what i enjoy doing,(i dont even know what i like) im just fed up and i needed to get all this shit out, theres loads more but i just cba writing, i dont even know what im doing, im fuked up badly, if anyone can give me any guidance it would be great=]
sorry about the huge paragraph
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Posted by anonymous at July 18, 2008 6:37 AMYou certainly have had a rough time of it, but you must refuse to be a victim. You're not motivated? Of course you are! You've stated that you want to fall in love, you want a better life, you want to find out what it is you want to do in life. But none of it will just be handed to you; you absolutely must resolve yourself to getting a good education to start.
You must also accept yourself as you are. If you're bi, you're bi, and wishing you were straight will not change it.
The most important thing is not to become a product of your environment; overcome it. LEARN from the terrible mistakes your parents made, and learn not to repeat them. Choose another path to a better life.
I wish you well.
Loyal Klan Follower
Posted by: at July 23, 2008 8:13 AMthanks for replying=] your advice is great and has givin me a bit more motivation to start putting all my shit in the past.Suddenly now i have got it all out, even if its to people i dont know, somethings clicked inside. As you said with the education, thats what im going to do, work my ass off and try and make something of my self, as soon as i have the grades for university im off and im going as far away as possible, there i can start a fresh find out what i wana do and be who i wana be, its a bit cliche but its what im going to try and make happen, im also thinking about creating something which can help people who have experienced what i have =]
it may of been 1 reply, but its done it, thats what i needed, thats what i was looking for, someone to care, thankyou, thankyou so much=]
good luck in life and i wish you happyness=]
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