Guess what? I can't believe I'm actually writing this. I don't think it has even totally sunk in our heads! My best friend of 21 years, my sugar sister, my JJ is pregnant.
I rushed over once she stopped puking and crying enough to tell me she was heading home. I made it here in record time, gripping my steering wheel the entire way, considering how many different ways might exist to castrate a man.
Because. The fucking assface thinks he can walk away scott free. He told her to have an abortion! He told her he didn't want to have anything to do with her or his child!
Scum of the earth! Liar! Hypocrite! I'm going to.....do something!! After I stop itching my mosquito bites (there are 11).
It's been about two hours since we found out. Here's a list of why we are sad:
1. She just started getting really skinny again!
2. Who will have sex with her?!
3. She can't drink at the Taylor Swift concert with me!
4. Her babeh daddy is going to IRAQ to escape her and not coming back to this state when finished.
5. Her family might possibly kill her.
6. She's only been 21 for like, a month.
Here's what we've come up with to be happy about:
1. N gets her baby fix without having a baby.
2. JJ gets to name it by herself.
3. Two words = baby. stuff.
4. JJ is excited for the tax rebate check.
5. We get to decorate the nursery!
6. N likes rubbing JJ's belly already. And listening. Mostly gas movin around tho.
7. Joanna from work is going to be piiiiiiiiiiiiiissed that JJ is stealin her thunder!! Super bonus!
8. JJ's dad has always wanted to be a grandad, even if he won't be so great at it.
9. Five generations in her family at once! (Once they get over it)
10. Gramma and Grampa will get to see the baby before they run out of time.
11. N's family = babysitters. For life!
12. Child support. "Now he payin for that layin!"
So. And that's that. I don't like the word pregnant, it is scary and somewhat vulgar and I keep telling her to shush. At least "my ego is prego" is funny. Which I keep repeating a lot.
It's not going to be all a piece of cake. But I'll tell ya what. I'm soooo gonna record the bitching and screaming in that delivery room. And I will be her lamaze coach and the godmommy and rub her belly with lots of cocoa butter. But not touching her feet, feet can't touch me. And I will buy little baby stuffs and be excited all the time.
So. Wish her luck. Wish her love. Wish her a healthy baby. And lots of child support.
I'll let you know when reality kicks in and I can stop saying "oh my god."
Oh My God.
N
<3 <3 <3
Accidental pregnancy usually means slut. What is it with all the sluts on here?
Posted by: at July 28, 2008 4:35 AMI have two more words for you: birth. control. Egads, wtf is wrong with today's youth? Has no one ever told them about the birds and the bees? Even cavemen eventually made the connection coitus and conception!
In case you don't know, people, HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX LEADS NOT ONLY TO STD'S, BUT BABIES!!!! And when you have a baby, it's pretty much like being grounded for 18 the next 18 years.
Stupid, stupid, stupid little girls.
Aborted fetus is a delicacy, I serve it on pizza or over rice. Keep that advantage in mind if she goes that route. You 2 could have a tasty meal.
Posted by: at July 28, 2008 7:12 AMno abortions. no. and no JJ is not a slut. Having a boyfriend and having sex with him does not qualify her as slut material, sorry.
Who said birth control is 100% effective? JJ is living proof that it is not.
And there ya have it.
Dumb is right. Keeping this accident is dumb, dumb, and dumb! She could give it up for adoption. At least that would be intelligent. Nothing worse than some dumb cunt who gets excited about her mistake.
Posted by: at July 28, 2008 10:15 AMThat guy better demand a DNA test before he pays a dime of child support. Usually in these cases, the father isn't who she says it is.
Posted by: at July 28, 2008 10:16 AMOr at least JJ can exercise a little better judgement next time she chooses a boyfriend. You can't just live in the moment when that moment has huge potential consequences in the future.
Posted by: at August 2, 2008 8:54 AMUsually, i would say the second to the last commenter is a shit head. But today is a day where I'm trying to be nicer to people, so I won't.
I'm pretty sure since the ahem, gentleman, has decided to open a joint bank account to provide his half of support, he is sure that he is the father of his child.
And excuse me, but who said JJ isn't able to care for her own child? It's not YOUR opinion, but JJ's that counts, and from her perspective the best thing for all parties is for her to keep her own child.
And what, do you think it would be better for her to be miserable and depressed about having a baby? WTF is the point of that? "OOOhhh an accident happened and nothing good ever comes out of accidents so i must wallow in self pity." Hell fuckin yeah we're excited to have another member in the family!!
I just wish she would move closer to me, not further away. :(
Posted by: N at August 2, 2008 10:54 AMThe OP poster and this JJ are obviously stupid bimbos.
Posted by: at August 3, 2008 10:04 AMYep, that's Miss N, the stupid fucking bimbo. Doesn't know right from left, can't hold down a job, has no idea what life is about.
Whatever. I fucking hate you.
N
Posted by: at August 3, 2008 12:44 PMHEY NOW!! Leave N Alone! Im Sure JJ is a great gurl!
Im just kidding Fuck These Sluts.
Here is a list of why Im Sad
1. I wasted 10 minutes of my life reading your bullshit story
2. Those aren't mosquito bites, those are your A Cup Breast
3. Your friend isnt skinny anymore so now i have to drink 5 more beers just to fuck her
4. She's 40 lbs overweight and is still hotter than you
5. N is the most retarded letter of the alphabet.
Play in traffic cock sucker
I'm sorry, were you trying to bring me down? Make me feel bad? Yeah, it's not working.
I guess you wouldn't know what it's like to love yourself and your friends the way they are, since you result to demeaning slander in an attempt to bolster your own feelings of self-worth.
Not workin on me, buddy! I love who I am, even if you think N is a stupid letter, even if you think my chest is small, and that you are soooo very much better than everyone else. There are plenty of other people who appreciate me exactly as I am. That goes for JJ, as well.
Don't need you at all.
Posted by: N at August 3, 2008 9:00 PMthat has got to be the most pathetic list i have ever read.
Reasons to be sad.... she's only just got skinny and who will have sex with her now? I mean WTF???!!
And reasons to be happy.... to get one up on a work colleague?? and to receive a tax rebate.
And number 12... now he paying for that laying. Nope. JJ is paying for the rest of her life
Omg you pair of imbeciles
Posted by: at August 4, 2008 6:47 AM