Anonyblog

Let The Peace Begin

Recently my daughter and I had a terrible argument. The damnedests thing about it is that it was an argument over the internet. Regrettably, I will rant about it on the internet. Somehow I believe this will help me get past the stupidity of the issue.

Let me begin by saying that my daughter and I have always had a volatile relationship. When the situation did not proceed in the manner which she thought it should she always tried to manipulate things yo her liking. She tried all of the common techniques such as crying, bitching, moaning, refusing to do what was asked of her until you did what she wanted. Then more unconventional techniques would include, Stomping down the hallway to her PIG STY(bedroom?) and slamming the door so hard that items would fall off the walls.

I must add at this point that her mother an I have been separated and divorced since 1998 and we have tried very hard to make our children's lives good. We stayed in the same neighborhood and within only a short, five minute bicycle ride, distance from one another. This was very difficult for my ex-wife and I. We did it anyway. I guess when I gave the ex 20,000.00$ and asked her to move out and to please stay in the close area she listened. Being that close and trying to get past a divorce is and was quite difficult.

The daughter showed signs of discontent right away and unfortunately her mother tried to exploit the problems as they arose. Ex-wife tried to go the therapist rout and put the daughter on heavy anti-psychotic drugs and mass therapy in an attempt to remove the children from my custody. Unlike most Fathers I put up quite the aggressive defense. I would not let her make the children think that the best place for them was with mom because dad would be too busy chasing women around to have time for them. Quite the contrary, I have all of the time in the world for my children.

So we went the family court rout and spent enough money on lawyers to put our very talented daughter through The Berkley School of Music. The ex-wife had me arrested for domestic violence. Tried to use Hotline to remove the children from my custody using the Ex-Parte method. This woman used every possible method to remove the children from my home that she could. She was unsuccessful at every turn. This was one angry woman. Subsequently my daughter learned how to be a flaming BITCH and as she grew and became a young woman this is how she dealt with her life problems. Her mother taught her how to be the supreme BITCH.

My son would have nothing to do with the family problems and absorbed himself in Martial Arts and has become a Black Belt at the age of 15, he is 16 now. He decided to live with me on a full time basis when he was 10 yrs. old. The daughter bounced back and forth between mom and dad's homes depending which way the wind was blowing. Finally her mother had one of many physical confrontations and ex-wife called me on the telephone and informed me that Daughter could not live at her home anymore after striking her.

I took my truck over to ex-wife's house and removed daughter and her belongings which included a computer and all of the other things you could imagine. Right away the computer became an issue. She would stay up all night and play games living in the Sims World. She was 16 yrs. old at this time and I thought she needed more sleep so as to be ready for school in the morning. But we got into this unbearable routine of waking up 15 minutes before the school bus would arrive and try to make it on time. This created a type of tension in the morning which was impossible to deal with. No one could move around because she had things to do and you were in her way while trying to carry on your mellow morning routine. There was always allot of stomping around, cussing and blaming everyone for her inability to be on time. Her bedroom(PIGSTY) and shared bathroom looked like a Cat. 5 Hurricane was constantly hitting them. She would not attempt to clean these areas up. Time moves on and we, my son and I, became used to this problem. We simply learned to work around it.

My daughter graduated from High school this year. I am very proud of her. She has become quite the musician and I want her to continue to pursue music and try and find a career in that field. But after 10 yrs. the ex-wife still wont give up. She has to stir up the trouble whenever possible. I had the computer problem pretty well at hand. As a matter of fact in order to access the internet you have to have your chores somewhat up to par. Things are going along unusually well at the time and ex-wife decides to throw a crowbar right in the spokes of the wheel. She gives daughter a laptop with WY/FI. I now have no leverage to get her to help do anything around the house. Ex-wife knows this also as we had talked about how to get daughter to do anything constructive around the house.

We are very fortunate at my home to have the best neighbors that one could ask for. One of our good neighbors lets us WY/FI our internet from their router.
This is a blessing and I can't tell you what it means to me. I use the internet to further my music endeavors and stay in touch with family and friends. So daughter starts to tap into the router and access the internet any time she wants. She buys a web-cam and starts doing God only knows what with various internet entities. She has a new group of freaky friends and is up until 5-6am web-camming, asking her brother and little sister to leave the room while she did "something" on her web-cam.

Nevertheless, I took steps to have her removed from the list of computers which could access our neighbor's router. When I did this she blew up at me like I have never seen before. She said that I had ruined her life. I told her to get a job and have her own internet installed. As one could imagine this went over like a lead balloon. The part of this dilemma which I understand but just don't get is ex-wife knew damn well what she was doing when she gave her the laptop. I guess she wanted to stir up the SHIT one more time before daughter leaves for school in Asheville.

Daughter lives with mom now where she can do whatever she pleases without contributing any effort with the upkeep of the house. Mom does not give a flying turd what she does, Daughter will not speak to me and I do not know when she will. She will be leaving for school at the end of August and I do not want to part ways this way. Hopefully something will change.

Moreover, I hope that ex-wife if satisfied now. She will never get anywhere close to upsetting my son and I. We have a solid relationship. A father could not ask for a better son. He helps do anything around the house that needs doing. He can see right through his mother's paper thin facade and does not fall for any of the expensive offerings. He does not see the "Golden Carrot." He sees the love in our home and is very much a part and a giver of that love.
His little sister looks up to him with much respect. Little sister is quite pissed off at big sister for slapping dad in the face the day she moved back to mom's house. Dad and son were left to clean out a bedroom that was absolutely the nastiest mess I have ever seen.

Things change over time, I hope that Daughter will see that relationships between parents and children can be repaired. It will be tough with ex-wife constantly stirring up the crap. When daughter grows up she will see what has happened. Until then I will live my life with my other two children. The peace has already begun to ensue. It feels so different it seems surreal. I wish my Daughter good luck in her life and I want her to know that I will always love her, no matter what.

Posted by anonymous at July 29, 2008 5:14 AM