Anonyblog

I LOVE ARCADE FIRE

I LOVE ARCADE FIRE!
and Wolf Parade, Bloc party, Interpol, DCFC, THE POSTAL SERVICE, Armor For Sleep. SO GREAT.

Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest. :) (jk)

The Never-Ending Cycle

What is wrong with me? Everyone likes me, I'm attractive enough, but almost every night I spend hours collecting and downloading porn.
Every night I put over 2,000 images on my HD and countless movies, and then after I 'release', I just delete it all because I feel bad.

There must be some male instince to collect things that arouse us.

I'm tire of wasting so much time.

Just Shoot Me

My 62 year old dad joined eHarmony the same time I did (I'm 32)....& he's getting more hits on his profile than I am! ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

What's so bad about being alone?

There came a point, I'm not sure when, that I decided to embrace my life and lifestyle. See, I've always had very few friends, I grew up homeschooled and unsocial, and even now I go to a tiny, brand new college with barely any people in it. And that school is in another state, a forty minute drive from where I live, so any friends I might make in school, I'll never really see. I used to hate how few friends I had, I used to decidedly crave social interactions and a more physical nature with my friends. Not that for all my trying I ever got what I wanted. But now I find myself craving human contact less and ever increasingly less. It's gotten to the point where I don't really like being around people at all, they don't amuse, nor interest me in the least.

See, all my life I grew up thinking that not having any friends, never going out, all that anti social behavior was wrong. But now, now I kind of enjoy it. No caring about having to have a girlfriend, or making plans for the weekend. As sad as it sounds, I'm happier, and more free as a recluse, than I ever was attempting to fit in.

That's just something I found myself noticing lately.

Compensation

how are salaries normally decided in a company?

i have a bachelor's degree and have been working at the same company for over a year and a half, and recently discovered that i am probably the lowest-paid employee with the same job description. everyone who was hired around the same time as me has either been promoted (which is a pretty big joke, because the raise that comes with the promotion is minimal) or left for a higher-paying job somewhere else.

i found out that people who started six months or a year after i did had higher starting salaries than my current salary (after two raises). i feel that i'm getting ripped off.

people who are getting paid more than me are doing less work and have less responsibility. i'm busting my ass more than anyone else and getting paid way less for it??

the sad thing is that things are slowly getting better. i used to be much more upset about the situation, but management has changed, and it actually is a calmer place to work.

unfortunately, the compensation issue just doesn't warrant me staying here much longer.

Ugh

I'm just pathetic. I hardly work at all in school, I just don't see the reason for doing things I already know over and over until others understand them. Whenever my parents or the counselor ask what's wrong, I lie and just say, "Oh, school sucks, kids are mean, poor me, boo fucking hoo."
Before I post this next bit, I just wanna make a point clear. Everyone's going to say, "Oh, you're just a kid, you don't know anything." I spend my whole existence in anger at the fact that I feel trapped in the wrong body. I hate this shell I am trapped in, this woman's body. It's not sexual, I just want to have that body, face, everything. I feel small and weak, everyone thinks I need to be protected, and it disgusts me. Just thinking about my curved waist and breasts, small hands and feet, my face, my legs, my lips...It makes me intensely angry just thinking about it.
Everything I do makes me want to puke. I hate myself for every sentence I speak, every line I write. I wish I could kick my own head in. I wish I could smash my face, punch myself in the gut, break my ribs. I hate sleeping, eating, drinking. It makes me feel wasteful and lazy, like all this should go to someone else, someone who would fucking appreciate how good I have it.
I'm pathetic. Fucking pathetic. Wallowing in self pity. So fucking self-absorbed. Just writing this makes me want to vomit.
I can't sleep, before I sleep sometimes I see someone holding me, feel their warmth. I can't bear it, can't stand wanting affection. If someone did, I would crush them, I wouldn't have to even try. I can't show love. I can sure as hell feel it, I'm not that dead, unfortunately, I can still care about people.
Then, every night and during the day, any time, I can see myself die. Hear a sharp noise, feel the bullet, see the shards of bone, gobs of brain. I would never do that though, just because I'm not deluded and know my family cares about me.
I have it so much better than everyone. Better than most of my friends, better than everyone. I have an easy life, I go to school, come back here, I have Internet and a decent family. And I spend so much time just thinking about myself. I'm exactly the kind of person I hate, self-centered, cruel. So much that I do is based around building who I want people to see me as, whether I'm aware of it at the time or not. It's all just a show I put on, all lies. I'm a huge liar and a thief. I don't even know what I'm talking about half the time, so it's no wonder everything backfires on me.
I'm sexist. There are hardly any females I can stand, and none I would wish to be around, save for the one I love, who does not care for me. I continue to have feelings for her, though I let her alone, not to be some kind of stalker. The rest I can't bear. They fight and squabble about the most arbitrary things, then make up in twenty minutes, going from screaming and swearing to hugging with amazing speed. I can't just sit around, minding my own buisness without being harassed for my looks or mere existance, which offends them even though I have done nothing, rarely expressing anger even after being harassed and threatened constantly. I try not to think this way, but I keep coming back to it.

Make them go away

So i've been going out with this boy for 8 months - closing in on 9 - now and he's clearly in love with me. Although I, unfortunatly, am enamored (and have been for awhile) with my ex boyfriend who is also enamored of me. All of my current friends hate my ex boyfriend but I can't help liking him so much. I feel that it's unfair to my current boyfriend to stay with him when I have such deep feelings for someone else but since I've already gotten back together with this guy 3 times, if i dump him now, i'll lose him forever. I can't stand to think that almost 9 months of my life could just end so quickly. i don't know whether i'm be paranoid/procrastinating/abnormal or if i should try to stay with him longer and see if my feelings change. =(

WHAT IS LOVE?

Please post your comments. This should be interesting.

i think i love him, but i don't know what love is. so i don't know if i'm really ridiculously head over heels for this guy or just telling myself i feel more than i do.

i'm making myself crazy.

Dear :)

You always give such thoughtful advice. I was wondering if you could help me. The other day I was feeling my breast and I found a lump. I am worried and I do not know what to do. I hate doctors. I have had bad experiences with them. Once after being put under upon waking up I could swear that the doctor had raped me but I could not prove anything so I let it go. I also have vaginal warts and a good-sized lump on my right testical. What should I do? You seem so intelligent and before I would consult a professional, I would get advice right here on anonyblog.
Please help, I know that you can.
Yours Truly,
Confused

What The Fuck?

I am reading posts and comments about this site getting back on track. What is back on track? Remember, this is an anonymous blog site meant to “Get it off your chest”. So what if some choose to write Fan fiction. Enjoy these stories or go on to the next post. Whoever is hoping this site gets back on track needs to shut the fuck up or visit another site that is more on track. If this person or these people come here with “real issues” and think that they can get good advice it only demonstrates how disturbed they must be. Solving life’s problems on an anonymous blog is ignorant. How could you trust anonymous comments on a site where posters and commenters write about some of the crazy shit that you may read here? Enjoy this site for what it is and stop trying to make it into a Dear Abby or Ask Anne Landers column.
By the way, this site has never been more on track than it is right now. When I am posting things are good.

Thank You,
VTD

LMAO

Babies Online

Goddamn Goddamn queer babies site. Baby Nazis! baby Nazis! They think their babies are to good to share the site with KodyBear so the bastards took his Excellency's site down for a fourth time. Rat Bastards in pink suits. I hate them! Who puts their baby on a goddamn web site anyway? What the hell is the matter with these people? Why does my fucking goddamn site always get taken down just because baby Kody is a truckstop toy with a penchant for sodomy?

Please Help the KodyBear in his effort to usurp this queer baby site. Go to babiesonline.com. Create a site. Upload stupid pictures of stuffed animals,toaster ovens or whatever.

Report your efforts to the KodyBear here. Encourage all to sign your guestbook! Stop writing about the same stupid problems everygoddamnbodyelse(pronounced one word) in the world also has! Live it up! Have some fun! Dont' be a bunch of lame ass whiners! Now get out there and fuck something up!

And stop deleting the posts of others you little son of a bitch!

The "anti-christ" has been diagnosed

For those who wanted a follow up to the earlier post about my step daughter here's the diagnosis. After seeing a child psychologist we have learned that she has Asperger syndrome. During the testing she had to exhibit one or more of certain behaviors to be diagnosed with this. She exhibits every single one of the behaviors on the test.

I guess she isn't just plain evil. Now I feel bad because I thought she was just spoiled. Anyway, the next step is to determine whether or not she will benefit from medication.

Thanks for everyone's advice and input. Hopefully now we can tackle this problem and have a more pleasant daughter.

Always

I'm beginning to think that I'll be alone forever. I mean, someone has to slip through the cracks, right? Someone has to live their whole life without any meaningful human interaction, right? No boyfriends, no friends, the only people who love you are your parents?

I don't know how to stop it. I'm not a bad person.. I'm interesting, I think. I'm smart. But I can't connect. I feel like I've built so many walls up... and no one cares.

How do you stop it? How lame is it when someone says "What did you do this weekend?" and you can only say nothing, always nothing... Not much. Nothing. It's only getting worse. When does it end?

STOP.

Can people PLEASE stop deleting/editing posts that aren't yours? *furious*

This website sucks now because people post meaningless garbage. "KODY R BEAR" "I CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH" "THIS IS MY PENIS" "MY BIG BLACK MOMMA AND RETARDED HALF BROTHER"

Post something with meaning, something that others can care about, relate, and commet on.

Anyways........................

S0me RaNtz

My mentally challenged half-brother, as a cute baby!

My momma, before she became bed ridden, at the hair salon.

As an african american homosexual male with a mentally challenged half-brother, I can identify with this concern of "thats all that males care about" Well, as a homosexual this is my stereotype. I can honestly [say] that not all men think like this. My brother doesn't, I certainly don't. However, my father did. This is why he left me, my mentally challenged half-brother, and my overweight mother to chase after a white girl named Allison Webster. They are together now, and have been since I was very young. My mother, out of pure sadness decided to have another child but did not know how. So, she convinced my father to come back for just one night. And, that one night my brother was created. But he died nine months later, upon his birth. So, she had to find another father. His name was Ethan W. Jones and he lived on the upper east side with his wife, Charlize and his two daughters Monique and Shuawna. He came up to my door one day and I let him in, and he instructed me to run outside and play with the other boys. Except, no one would play with me due to my lisp. When Ethan left that day, I knew I was different. Five in a half months later, my mentally challenged half brother was born. Except, he was not the normal preemie. He was huge, and happy! We did not know of his conditions until years later when I discovered my true sexuality. Well, now I am honestly happy. It's so amazing to be able to look at a man now without regret. My mother loves me so, even though she cannot move from her bed anymore.

The only problem is that, readers...you think that your lives are so bad. They really aren't, it could be worse, so please just be happy that you didn't g row up in an inner city shithole like I did. Thank you.

8=============D ( o Y o )

THATS ALL HE CARES ABOUT. User, hope it falls off.

My boyfriend and I of 14months broke up a month ago. He said he was tired. Now we both seem to have sort of a love hate relationship.

When i contact him, he gets annoyed with me for being irritating. When i dont, he also gets annoyed with me for not bothering. I don't know exactly what's going through his mind. We were supposed to stay best friends, but isn't friendship a two way thing? I feel like i just keep on giving and all he's doing is taking it in. He treats me just like a punching bag. But i'm thinking this way only because i don't know what's on his mind, i wish i did. I know i'm stupid to continue clinging on, but there's hope. I don't know what he wants to do. Should i just let go, and risk the friendship and everything that we've built up slowly since 6 years ago or should i just keep on clinging on?

I need someone to understand, to understand how he's feeling. Because if he doesn't want me anymore, then i'll try and move on. But now he's giving me mixed signals. I'm so scared of losing him, but i'll have to let go eventually, right? It seemed so perfect, and now it's all gone down the drain.

Falling in love really hurts.

as long as i don't have to hear about any sexual stories that might come up, and you stay my friend. those are the only rules.

Ashlee Simpson (and a few other favorites!)

I hate Ashlee Simpson with a passion.

Everytime I hear LOLOLOVE on my car radio I want to kill someone.

She is ugly, annoying, and looks like a bird.

Even with that said, she can't sing well at all.

I think I can sing better.

If only I had a slutty older sister and a huge nose

Then maybe I'd be famous.

And thats the end of my prose.
AND HER TOO

(Thats Lindsay Lohan believe it or not)
Hope your fingernails turn yellow and fall off.

And if this one could look into the future...

And last but not least....Uncle Jesse & the alien twins

Thank you!

Just want to say thank you to whomever changed the password back.
I really don't want this great website to die!

More later...

=(

My mom is so mean to me all the time, all she does is make me cry.

I get good grades, I truly do. I work hard to get close to a one hundred average in school, but on the downside she constantly pressures me to get a job and drive a car. The thing is, she never takes me out practicing and on the seldom occasion that she does I screw up because I hardly ever drive, and she yells at me when I do and makes me pull over to the side of the road so that she can take the wheel. I had one job that was seasonal help but now no one will hire me even when I call the places due to my lack of experience. I really do want to work, and I'm not making excuses. It's hard to put in applications when she refuses to drive me there because she is "tired", and even then it makes me wonder how I would even get there if I did get the job. And I do feel that I am intelligent, I could program any computer or write a novel, and I know that I will succeed when it comes to college. Would she rather me get bad grades in school but have my own crappy car and work at a meaningless job that I hate going to every day? Yes, money is nice. Having my own transportation would be wonderful. But, she thinks that it's all that life is about. I don't go out drinking, I don't smoke, I stay away from things that will hurt me. I try my best to please her, but it seems that I fall short because I depend on her too much.

Please, I need advice....
(PS- I'm a girl, not a momma's boy)

Reset

I reset the password.

Stop being stupid.

better than i thought, i guess

i told him i like him.

he told me he isn't looking for someone to date right now.

and although i'm "fine" with being his sex toy, i understand it. i respect it. i have this huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe properly again.

i'm not sad, but i can settle for "okay" and a quick fuck every other day.

It's not that big a deal, but it is

I have everything, a brother and nice part-time job and eyesugh money and I'm where I want to be, it's just that I'm yes kid anymore, and I still want to be that kid. It doesn't help that a guy where I work, what's what, ten? twelve? years younger than me, he's terrific, and it's so clear that he's NICE to me instead of ATTRACTED to me.
I wouldn't want to go back, and go through everything all over again, the twenties, and thirties, and god help us, the beginning of my forties, but I sure miss being that kid.

Why Romance on the Internet doesn't work

When boy meets girl in an other 'yesrmal' circumstances we have the benefit of using our eyes, ears and senses to form a personal opinion and to be able to judge fairly quickly whether the person's character appeals to us. Adults have a good idea of what and what character traits they are looking for. The personality and chemistry of the individual is crucial in this highly personal assessment. It is complex and based on what is going on in the 'unconscious'. The Internet dating sites offer a fast, efficient means of contacting people we are attracted to by offering profiles and photographs of real people, and the promise of instant and real relationships and love.

Photographs can be very misleading because they 'fix' more than they 'reveal' about us. Individuals see themselves as more attractive than they actually are by using old photographs taken prior to the greying or balding of their hair, or put them through photoshop. Other physical factors are not seen. Men and women alike are guilty of this. A paintingdoes not reveal any affectations, or irritating behaviour. A profile can glamorise the person, producing a stereoscopic ideal, and concentrating and emphasising good points. Often profiles are written or borrowed, by well intentioned friends.

The interesting factor is not so much the deceit that goes on, but the way individuals are at liberty to reject anyone they suspect might 'see through them'. The internet doesn't allow us the benefit of time and patience in forming a correct opinion.

On meeting a person, our expectations are usually (sadly) confirmed. We politely chat, have a drink and feel a mixture of responses, and then part company, never to meet again, in most cases.It could be argued that this is all part of the process, but damage is being done. Denial that we are being hurt is the first thing. Eliminating the person as part of the throwaway culture we live in in, is the next. Rejection plays a key part, although we may not want to admit it. This is all going on at a very unconscious level.

What the internet offers is the promise of finding the perfect partner and love in a very unprotected and vulnerable environment. It's easy. It's ayesnymous. yes one will ever kyesw. You can be married or single. People are using it as a means of prostitution, both male and female. People are trying it out to see how attractive they are and whether they have the ability to still attract.

The most interesting factor of all, is that the Internet sets up 'distance' immediately between those seeking their 'ideal' partner. This 'distance' becomes a safety net and plays on insecurities. You are able to keep the person at bay, avoiding rules regarding sincerity or accountability. In any other 'yesrmal' circumstances, romance develops in a more contemplative way. Instant romance and instant relationships don't work for the majority. Instant rejection and instant ego battering are more likely to happen. The internet sets out to seduce under the banner of single dating It takes away the responsibility of the individual to be accountable for their actions. It promotes and fuels unhealthy and unrealistic expectations, playing on the most negative aspects of our vulnerability.

The actual ritual of meeting a real person, is the only way to avoid these unpleasant elements, because it allow us the dignity and the opportunity to assess in our own way, our potential compatibility, without initially harming each other. The other persons affectations and characteristics are immediately on view, allowing us the benefit of sucking the person as they really are, rather than raising our expectations to suit our 'ideal' fantasy image. There are yes illusions because we are dealing with reality, and not resorting to fantasy. It may take three or four unarranged or accidental meetings, to develop a relationship. People behave in a more natural way and are not likely to be hurt, or cause hurt, by being creative, because we are programmed to protect ourselves. The internet offers yes protection. It is at best a lottery. It robs us of the real opportunity to care about our own sensitivity or the sensitivity of others.. We are putting forward a distorted image of ourselves and meeting strangers in a hostile environment.

I suspect the internet may provide the thrill of the chase and the promise of love, as we wade our way through hundreds of images and smiling faces, since most of us may not be physically or mentally capable of attracting a partner in 'yesrmal' day to day circumstances. The chances are , as we grey, and bald, and put on weight, and pretend we are much younger than we really are, we may never realise that we have perpetuated a pattern which continues not to genuinely deliver, because the premise is to deceive ourselves from the outset.

The internet encourages hyperactivebehaviour pattenrs by its very nature. You can meet a stranger ten or twenty years younger, what may give you that extra lease of life but you can just as easily get rid of them and the risk involved by pressing delete or erase with F6.

J

Still hurts. . . .

I went out with her for almost 6 months. I did my best to respect her space and be a supportive, attentive boyfriend.

I would call her and she'd wait days to call back. When I mentioned to her that it felt like maybe she wasn't really that into me, but didn't want to say so, she said, "Oh, I wouldn't say that's it." So I kept calling. When she kept not returning my calls I gave up. I haven't seen her since (almost a year ago!)

I should probably shake her dust from my feet and move on, but, damn, it, this still hurts!

Two men. One Heart

I'm in love with two men.

I never thought it was possible. One is my husband. I met him when I was 19 and we got married at 22. For awhile he didn't really see me. My own fault, as I never really let him inside my head.

When things got bad, really bad, I started talking to someone new. He saw me. Understood me. Reinforced my belief in myself.

Husband found out. I had to let the second one go. My husband now sees me but it's still vague enough that I think of Scott and miss him. On top of it, his marriage is gone now. And I'm trying to keep mine together.

I hate being torn. I love them both.

Hmmm

Why does the US government spend billions of dollars a year rebuilding shitty little countries while here in the US lack of funding is closing fire stations and forcing the police do lone patrols?

Why are we paying health care and housing costs for illegal immigrants when we could be putting that money towrd building a bigger and better border patrol to keep them from coming in to begin with?

Why is congress allowed to give themselves a healthy raise every year and yet we can't raise minimum wage or give soldiers a decent increase in pay?

Why don't we get rid of our currnet congressmen/women and start fresh with a whole new government?

As patriotic as I am, I can honestly say this corrupt government is destroying America.

I killed somebody today.

I'm fine now... but when I killed him I had the most incredible rush of adrenalin. It was so amazing, so much energy rushing through me I had an uncontrollable urge to masturbate there and then. I'm not even sure it was a him. All I know is that nobody saw me, and when I drove back to see what I'd hit, I nearly ran over the black bastard a second time. No... I'm sure it was dead. There was so much blood. Nobody could have survived. I'm going out for another drive now. Bye

Still Can't Get Over It...

I am extremely pissed at the sick idiot who changed a truly heart-felt post into something sick and disgusting!!!

Honestly, I am just about moved to tears.... How in the hell can people be so insensitive???

I WANT AN APOLOGY.

I am not making this up.

I am a 44 year old husband, and father of 3 kids.
I am a physician.

I have spent every single day of the last 7 months of my life either stoned out of my gourd, drunk, gobbling oxycontin, or a combination of the 3.

Fun, huh?
NumNums.

I am engaged, happily, been with the guy for 8+ years and we adore one another.
The other side of this triangle has been one of my good friends for many, many years- we even dated in the past...he's "that person" that I have never fallen out of love with- in a way. I carry a torch for him or whatever....one night, very intoxicated, we do some pretty serious lip wrestling. The next day he drives cross country to California, & a couple months later, he's married. That was a year ago. Last month I found out he did flip out & even got married because of me.
????????

Just a short poem

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And all my base
Are belong to you . . .

Temptation

i'm engaged. she's married. i've had a crush on her for a while but would never dream of acting on it. after all, I love my fiancee, and this woman's married, and she's a co-worker. i mean, that's not the kind of indecent proposal you can easily back away from if she says no, and even if she says "yes", is that what I really want? i mean, after all, i love my fiancee with all my heart.

she's just so damned cute.

and I found out today that, apparently, she's having not one but two affairs -- at the same time.

i still can't bring myself to seriously consider it, but damn it does raise the temptation level a bit.

Finally

Finally told him (again) that I couldn't continue seeing him with the way things stand, didn't go into detail as to the things, so he's probably confused, but I can't deal with it being an open relationship anymore, I'm too involved.

He said to let him know when I want to see him again, that he's not going to let me disappear.

I think he's expecting me to turn up this weekend (it's his birthday, having a party)

I don't think I've ever been so miserable. Can't sleep, cry spontaneously, sometimes I cry after winding myself up, other times I cry at the things I let him away with.

Men/boys, (maybe 'males' is a better label) are rubbish.

I'm really not interested in anyone else, at the same time, I'm really not interested in fucking other people by proxy.

So to other people a bit like me, as my sister said, the first time you walk out, you stay walked out. YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO GO BACK. Is bad for your health.

He makes me go like this -> :)

I really like him a lot. I've never felt this sort of mental as well as physical attraction to anyone before.

I like it.

a short poem

i am an immobile porkchop
in a sea of destiny
fashioned from felt and abandoned by cabbage
courage
i am an indispensable porkchop
burnt around the edges and cold in the center
my heart is listening to yours
the goggles, they do nothing
beer is good

fin.

I might lose my kids to a hooker

For the past 2 years i have been raising my now 4 year old daughter and now 2 year old son by myself. I graduated highschool with both of them by my side and now im in college, still raising them. A month ago my 3rd child was born and i am now fighting his mother for atleast split custody of him. Back to my first 2 children, their mother left our 2 children, then 2 and 3 weeks old, on my doorstep at 2 in the morning while it was raining. She left a note saying she was sick of being a parent and dint want anything to do with the children anymore. A year after i had been raising them alone, i tracked down their mother and asked her to give up her rights to the children. She refused and said she could get money off them if she needed to so she wouldnt give up her rights. Since then she has given birth to twins who she refuses to take care of and the father of the childrens mother is raising and shes been selling herself for money. A month ago i got a letter from her telling me that she wants the kids back. She says she has cleaned up her act and wantes all 4 of her children living with her and her new husband who she is also now pregnant by. Me being a single parent, living off my parents money. Not proudly, but they pay rent in our 3 bedroom apartment, and pay my creditcard bills. Im going to college so the kids do go to daycare. Im afraid if they see her now as this house wife, sweet wife who just wants to parent her kids, that she has a house and a husband who i guess has a nice job, ill lose my children to this evil lady.

Does anyone know anything i can do to help my case if she does take this all the way to court?

I have met the anti christ!

She is almost six years old (going on 13) and is the daughter of my grilfriend. Never in my life have I met anyone with such disregard for other people. She cares about no one other than herself. When she has no use for you she just acts as if your mere presence is annoying.

I'm sure this is a result of her living with her grandparents for the first four years of her life. They spoiled her and allowed her to make every decision whether it was deciding on dinner or what to watch on the television. They were not allowed to watch anything but cartoons on the big screen until she went to bed and she was the one who decided what her bed time would be. She wasn't potty trained and she refused to give up her pacifier until she moved away from them at the age of four because they wouldn't make her do anything she didn't want to. I am not exaggerating.

She shows no affection toward her mother (or me) unless she is trying to manipulate her. When we pick her up from school her classmates greet us with smiles while she looks disappointed. In an attempt to get closer to her I took her to Chuckie cheese, the park, rented movies, and anything else I could come up with that is fun for children. Not once did she seem appreciative or say thank you. After we left the park she said "where are we going now"? I said home and that was the last time she talked to me for several hours. Partially because she was mad but mostly because I was no longer useful to her.

She talks back to everyone. Especially her mother and grandparents. She refuses to do what they tell her and then throws a temper tantrum when she is forced. Her class mates are afraid of her because when she isn't insulting them and making them cry she is physically abusing them. Her teacher can't control her and say's she is disruptive and refuses to follow instructions.

She has a two month old brother who she say's she loves very much. Three times I have told her not to do something because she could hurt him but the temptation seems to be too great for her to control. As soon as I turn my back she is doing exactly what I told her not to do. When I ask her why she did it she responds by saying "I don't know" but her attitude say's "I felt like it!"

She cheats on every game we play and I don't mean in the innocent child way either. She knows to hide her cheating and lies to cover it up. She is very intelligent and cheats, lies, steals and manipulates anyone who shows her kindness to get her way. She perceives kindness as weakness and will use that to get whatever she wants.

I have two wonderful sons from my first marriage. I also have 5 nieces and 2 nephews. I have seen all of them go through this age and not one was nearly this inconsiderate, mean, demanding, disrespectful and just plain unpleasant. Her phsychologist can't even get her to respond in a positive way. After 14 months of this I'm at my wit's end and I found out last night that her mother is too.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? I sware the only thing left before I label her a future serial killer is the maiming of small animals.

sleep habits

I have a very inconsistent sleep pattern... and it's truly affecting my daily life, I can't get anything done. Everytime I fix my sleep pattern, it gets messed up and the cycle begins again. sleep 4pm-9pm, awake 9pm-5am, sleep 5am-8am, awake 8am-4pm.. I would say my sleep pattern changes every week...

anybody have any suggestions?

Gas

Think about this. The price of gas went down for a short time and then started back up. Now if I remember correctly this happened in the past also and when it went back up, it stayed up and that became the new plateau. I'll bet you that this summer the price will go to near $4.00 a gallon and then drop back down only to rise up again. Are these plateaus driven by the oil companies who, by the way are making a whole lot of money.

I say we, the American People, stand up and demand that our people in Washington, D.C. take some kind of action like they did against ENRON.

Something needs to be done. Rise up and write your congress person and demand something be done. Gee, we might even have to elect new people until something is done.

Or, maybe I am all wet.

What's Next?

After being out of college for close to 2 years, you'd think that I'd have figured out by now what exactly I'd like to do a next. While an undergrad, I pursued anything and everything, experimented without getting into trouble, etc. In essence, everything seemed to work out perfectly.

Unfortunately, everything after college has turned into a disaster. Why do I feel as though I will never be successful again? Why do I feel as though I am wandering aimlessly?

How do I get back?

Why do I have to accept it?

I refuse to! I refuse to smell and breathe your smoke! Society is with me on this one. Please don't smoke, it is afterall socially non-acceptable to be a smoking outcast..However, should I say I were, lets say...gay! Then whoa! Cannot comment about being gay because that is supposedly socially acceptable and if I comment about that being the disgusting act it is, then well I'm again the outcast. I cannot smoke but I can get hit on by a guy who wants to put his dick in my butt! GROSS! I refuse to accept homosexuality! Come on world, where the hell is your common sense? What is next? Okay to be a pedophile, rapists, murderer! Please do not waste your time or mine with lame comments like; "being gay is natural" or "some of us are reverse gendered" there is nothing natural about it and reverse gendering is simply a delusion. Yeah, I smoke! Boo on me! But I still prefer a woman over a raunchy poop hole society! I'm bad!

Cheating Wife

Over the last 13 months, my wife fucked 4 different guys. Once I found out, she offered to be spanked in punishment. I first refused. A couple of days later she asked again to be punished. She stood in front of me, pulled her pants and panties off, and bent over the arm of the couch. I spanked her hard and long, her bottom ended up full of welts. She was crying and screaming. I asked her if she'd had enough, and she asked me back if I had enough. I said no, and made her sit on a chair with her legs open towards me so that I could spank the inside of her thighs.
Things were ok after that, I'd got my revenge, she was not repententant about her behavior, but felt the punishment she received evened things out.
A couple of months later I found out she was still fucking the last guy. Again she asked to be punished. Again I refused at first. That evening in bed she asked me to punish her again, and I started squeezing her nipples. I took her nipples between my fingernails and squeezed as hard as I could without breaking her skin. She screamed and cryed, and then asked me to spank her again instead. She couldn't sit for 5 days after that.
I've just found out that she's *still* cheating on me... I'm afraid to confront her, as I don't want to punish her again. I'm afraid I'll do something I'll regret badly. So I'm thinking of simply telling her we're separating.

Hands

I love hands, especially well defined hands ie well proportioned and toned, I love knuckles and long fingers.

For some reason I have grown a seriously bad fetish on them, ever since early secondary school, I am now in my 30s. I think I developed a crush on a girl then, she had lovely hands, very athletic ones.

I don't understand why, but I was serious when I was younger, I hated being touched by anyone who had big hands, I always squirmed. I'm not as bad now, but I had always and still do, love being touched by gorgeous hands, both men and women. It's the one thing I look at when meeting people, is their hands and their eyes (I'm not into normal things like their backsides!!). I could sit and be stroked for hours by someone with gorgeous hands.

I hate my hands, they are quite podgy but look better with false nails on them.

I'm not starved of affection, don't get me wrong, I'm beginning to think it could be the same as ppl who love feet.
Does anyone else have strange fetishs (If thats what it is)?

Thriller

I hope you some day understand the hurt you caused me.......... All I do now is hurt .... even when i smile I really just hurt ..... you killed me ...............

She is Cheating

I wriite knowing you'll see this but knowing I can say it wasn't me who wrote this. Why ???????? That is the question?????????? Why did you have to go out to lunch with him.???????? Mind does not stop racing about it .... am I stupid to have it bother me so.......... I know that if I learned this way after the fact I would have dumped you on the spot.... I hate lying and covering up ............ I just want to hurt you so bad right now, I wish I could have some random girl just blow me just to get back at you .... Its mean I know but it hurts me sooooooooo much no one could even begin to understand, I want to kill him ... really I do but it would solve nothing ........ so I am back to square one and I still can not get it off my mind ......... Why did you have to go to lunch with him ... him of all people ... now I am afraid I'll do something I'll regret for the rest of my life .... Life sucks ...... then we die ... I hope he does soon........

Opinions please

I'm a mid 30's man with a good career. My fiance and I have just had a baby and now she is out of work. Money is tight right now but I make enough for us to scrape by. We don't have the extra we are used to having so our standard of living has dropped somewhat.

I have been looking for a second job but because I am limited to nights the choices are limited. I have applied at several places with no success but I was recently offered a job delivering pizza for a family friend.

Here's my dilemma. At my primary job I am fairly high up on the food chain. It's a very competetive government job and I know how much my co-workers would enjoy knowing I am moon lighting as a delivery driver. Personally I have no problem with delivering pizza as a second job but the harassement would never end if someone found out.

Should I just check my ego and go earn some extra money? I know it comes down to my ego. Do I really want to deal with the crap I would get if someone finds out? Or should I just commit to a tighter budget and wait until things get back to normal?

Thanks. Oh and for the assholes that will surely be tempted to respond...kiss my ass in advance.

There's this woman i like at work, but on the few occasions we ever communicated with each other, we argued....Maybe thats why i like her so much?

even though i thought this would be an awful birthday...it turned out to be one of the best...i love my firends, cause even though i have been single and depressed about it, they filled me with such love and caring that i didn't feel as lonely and as unwanted as i usually do.

Advice please

I think I am love with my best friend, who is gay.
He has a boyf who I have met and is really nice.
If I don't see him every so often, I really miss him and get depressed.
I love his company. We talk to each other about everything, our outlook, plans and problems. When we meet up I hate when we leave and am nearly crying after parting. I love being with him. He is the only person who I feel knows me inside out and understands what i'm saying and vice versa.
I realise that the only way is to limit contact, but I'm afraid to do this as I know nothing will ever happen, and I don't want to ruin the friendship (and yes it is a friendship despite of this blog!), so I feel this is a vicious circle and not sure how to get out of it.
I don't fancy him at all, I am Bi but more towards girls, and a year ago have came out of a relationship as I felt more for my friend than I did her.
What can I do?
(please, no nasty remarks, this is the first I have actually admitted this)

Car Accident

In the event of a 4 car crash - domino effect from 4th guy and I got the tail end of it, am wanting to claim for bumper damage and bumper floor damage, does the guy behind me pay up or the 4th guy who rammed the 3 cars?
I have been told that I claim of the guy who ran into me, who in turn claims off the 3rd guy, who in turn (!) claims off the 4th guy who did the damage?
How quickly can these claims be sorted?
This is such a headache!

Should I?

Our eyes continue to meet each other as we pass. Smiles are exchanged. I'm wondering what she's like, who she is. Maybe it's time to find out...but how?

She has the most gorgeous blue eyes, the sweetest laugh and a smoking body. She wields her femininity like a sword; cutting through a man's defenses like a knife through hot butter. She is sexy, witty, confident and now she is gone.

She obviously knew she could do better than me. Sigh.

ouch

I slid on a patch of ice this morning and shot off in to a ditch doing 70. Holy fuck my back hurts now. Who would have thought? Oh well, back to the daily grind.

Just stating the obvious

I just wanted to state that I'm really getting tired of the extreme left constantly telling me that....

Iraq is about oil
Alito will send the court to the "ultra conservative side"
Senator Barbara Boxer is a good senator
Senator Ted Kennedy should be worshipped
Senator Clinton will be our next and first female president

Please stop already!

I believe our system corrupts all that enter its hallowed halls. Where is Mr. Smith when you need him?

here we go...

how exciting it is for me here, in such a point in my life? i love my city, i love my friends, i love my life. the feeling that erupted throughout the city, all together and celebrating the superbowl!

I'm afriad I just can't tell.

I met him four, almost five years ago. At first he & I were just friends, nothing more. But even back then, what seems like so long ago, I think I loved him, of was starting to. I know it seems silly. "How can you know what love is at such a young age?" I don't know. But I know I love him now, and I am pretty sure that I have loved him for most of the time I've known him. Who knows? Maybe even love at first sight. I don't even believe that's possible. Lust at first sight, yes, but Love? Well. Who knows. It's hard to not believe such romanticism sometimes.
Now, almost half a decade later, we're still firends. He's my best friend. I'd like to think I'm his, & I'm pretty sure of it, but how can anyone every really know what goes on in someone's head? I told him I love him. Sat in his car and cried on his shoulder. He said it wouldn't change anything. It did. For a while. We've fixed up things, and now I honestly think we're better than ever. As friends. I told him I knew it would never work; I'm gay, and he's not. How ould that ever happen?
Yet I can't seem to let go of hope. Let go of my love for him : it just grows. I don;t think he really ever understood how much I care about him. Then or now. I told him "I love you" but I think he took it mean as a crush of something. But I love him. Truly. I'd do anything... My friends in college met him. They all honestly think that it's obvious that he loves me. They say that we're "so cute together" or that "we're in our own little world." Sweet sentiments, sure. But I don;t know what to make of it. DO I try and talk to him? He never did tell me how he felt after I told him. Regret? Anger? Unease? Pity? ...Love? No. Certainly not. And yet.. if strangers can see it. Even some of my friends seems to think it.
I just don't know. And even if he were gay. Or even bisexual. Or anything that would give me a chance at all, would I really have a chance? Why should he love me? Sure I'm "his most loyal friend." He "can tell me anything." He "cares about me." But do I really believe it?
I just don't know.

Expanding on Anonyblog

I've been reading and contributing to Anonyblog for a while now and can't help but want to share an idea I had for expanding the concept.

I use blogspot.com a lot and was hoping to set up anonyblogs on SPECIFIC subjects. However, before I go about doing this, I wanted to ensure that:
1.) I have the Anonyblog creator's support (I want to ADD to anonyblog, not replace it).
2.) Ensure that there is interest out there.
3.) Obtain ideas for specific subjects conducive to their very own Anonyblog.
4.) Get ideas from the users and readers themselves.
5.) Hopefully get in contact with someone else who would be interested in helping me with the project.
6.) Get permission to include links on Anonyblog to the new blog sites.

Please be advised that the rules set up on Anonyblog would transfer to the new blog sites. Also, they would be strictly NON-COMMERCIAL... No pop-ups or anything.

Also, I just wanted to extend a huge thank you to everyone who has responded to my posts.

all smiles

I don't know him that well, but every time we talk I just can't stop smiling. I told myself to just quit thinking about him 'cause he's going to college in the fall, but every time I see him or someone mentions his name, it starts all over again.

I miss him.

Ranting and Raving

I am sick and tired of people putting so much emphasis on careers! Have we all lost our basic concern for PEOPLE - or have we all gone ape materialistic?

Right now it appears as though everyone is trying to create their very own material kingdom without regards to family or other meaningful relationships!

I am sick and tired of being treated like just another number, another statistic...

Right now, I am 25 years old, I hold two bachelors degrees from a Big 10 university, and have close to two years of solid work experience, not to mention substantial international experience. Heck, I am fluent in Spanish!

Here is what irritates me. I put my personal life on hold for 6 years to accomplish all of that. Now that I am ready to marry and have a family (I'm even engaged), I feel as though my family expects me to focus on my career.

In all honesty, I'd love to focus on it currently. The problem is that my unique qualifications don't lend themselves to the job market where I live. I'd move for a great new job, but there are a couple of issues there. My fiance just landed a great new job in the area; our families (including young brothers) are nearby; and we love the city! In other words, I am trying to land a reasonably challenging job in a soft job market in an area that doesn't really lend itself to my areas of expertise.

If anyone has any suggestions, I could really use some advice. I need to restart the job search, but I feel defeated even before I begin. It doesn't help that my last work experience was awful.

Is she Cheating

So she sees her ex ...... is she cheating on me ...... my god I can't stop thinking about it, why the F$%^ does she have to see him or talk to him ... its driving me crazy

hmmm...?

he asked me out for our first meeting or date or whatever it was. we had a few rounds of drinks and a few hours of great conversation. then the bill came. i began to fish around for my wallet waiting for him to stop me and say he's got it. he didn't stop me and i paid for some of the bill. am i wrong for feeling a little let down by this? has chivalry died? am i expecting to much in 2006?

he also said he would call me and we would hang out again. its been five days and no phone call. maybe i should get the hint.

i hate these stupid games.

Satisfaction

Im not well. I would like to be feeling better than I am right now. I just don't see a way to change myself for the better. I have had counselling. I have seen a doctor who I have convinced that I have depression. My father does or so he states. My father also believes his father did as well. Im on anti-depresents that don't seem to be working all the time. I am lonely. I have few friends that I hang out with. Mostly I just see them at work. Sometimes I go to raves where I see the people I call friends. I am addicted to drugs mostly because it lets me forget that im alive. Alcohol, Marijuana, Extascy. I can avoide the latter of the two because they are not freely available, but not able to stop drinking even though it interferes with my anti-depresents. I just like being drugged out my mind. It relieves the boredom I feel. Recently moved back in with my mother. I can't afford rent on my own with my current job. I have student loans and credit card debt that I need to payback. I am so goddamm lonely. I want to be in a relationship with someone. Sex has never been satisfying. Ive slept with men and women. Ive never been able to ejactulate with them. I masturbate nearly every day to ejactulation so I know im not impotent. I am desperatly searching for satisfaction in my life and don't know where to find it.

Of likes and suitability quotients.

i like him. and him. alot. and i don't know what to do about it. i think of the differences between the two and i don't know why i like both of them - they're complete opposites.

i like him because he makes me feel wanted. even though at the end of the day, i'm not sure who exactly he does like. but i'm pretty sure it isn't me. he's someone who is nice to hug - not in a teddy bear sense though. we just... fit. and it's comforting to just lie on his shoulder, or to be enveloped in a hug. and trust me, when you come in my size, it's not easy being enveloped. hence the increasing comfort i feel in his arms. his torso is droolsome. just a touch of his hand on my shoulder alone exhilarates me, much less a hand around the waist. his sense of humour is quite well-groomed and i feel like jumping into his arms and nuzzling his neck whenever i see him - although this always only happens in my head, and never in real life.

and i like him because he makes me realise a better part of myself. he sees the ugly parts of me because i show myself that way, and he speaks to me kindly about it. and i think a figure like that in my life is comforting, someone who can be depended upon. someone once commented that he seems like he isn't comfortable in his own skin, that he seems to try acting cool. but he really isn't. he's a really sweet guy who's mature in the ways of life, despite the age. he has his opinions, which i may not like, but which i have to accept because his reasons hold ground and because i just have to. but all in all, i like him because he improves me, makes me want to be a better person from the core. i'm not perfect, but he makes me want to try to be when i'm around him. i'm not seeing it as changing myself for him. rather, i think it's more on self-improvement, for who better to judge you than yourself?

i know this seems crazy - liking two guys at once. but i can't seem to decide who i like better. one is a physical attraction, the other is an emotional attraction - both holding very different promises. or the lack of promises. see, the weird thing is, the first doesn't seem to like me back and seems perpetually fickle as to where we stand, and the second apparently likes someone else - not that i know who exactly it is. so what is the point of all this heartache?

at this juncture, i can't help but wonder:

why can i never find someone suitable enough who finds me suitable enough?

or rather, why doesn't anyone ever seem to find me suitable enough?

What a moron...

Check out the rantings of an insane idiot.

The kindness of strangers

I've noticed a lot of posts aimed at the people who use this site to make fun of peoples misery (and rightly so, this is supposed to be a support site not a place to hurt people), but I just wanted to thank all the people who take the time to write considerate, kind, helpful replies to people you have never met and never will. Every little bit of light helps

jibberish

I don't believe that school marks can truly measure somebody's intelligence. I don't appreciate people who judges me by my marks. I don't want them to know me through my marks, or make impressions of me based on my marks. It's not just some people in class, it's this whole damned society. You won't get the job you want if you lack the report card marks. I'm only in grade 11, and it's already overstressing me. I'm failing school and this game of catch up has caught up. I tell myself that I will work harder next year, every year. I know I'm capable of high marks because I've done it before...2 years ago. What's happening to me? Did I get lazier or have I just lost all motivation?... I feel like giving up but I know I can't and I won't... My expectations has just gone down the drain, I'm content with just a pass. I remember, I was never content with just a pass, anything out of the 80% range was saddening...and now... the motivation is just lost. I know I haven't given up totally because my marks still influences me enough to get me depressed... but it's been 2 years now. Where will I get this strength to pull me up and motivated? At this rate, I will not get into university, I will become nothing close to my goal, my goal of becoming a pharmacist... and I will regret for the rest of my life. I know because I'm beginning to regret now, I feel so behind. "its never too late" bull... maybe I was too confident... and thought, i will get by without doing anything... but thats false... thus falling behind... very behind and i can't seem to catch up... I feel like time is running out. I feel like I realize all this shit and yet not able to do anything about it, I can't bring myself up to fix my problems. What's more depressing is the fact that I try sometimes, and I don't receive my efforts worth... and that is very discouraging... it encourages me to give up when I don't want to. What do you do when forfeit is not an option in this game? I'm so sick of school, i make simple things complicated because thats just how i am and that's probably why i will never catch up. I'm still stuck on the same page because I'm determined to learn it. But I refuse to accept things, refusing to accept why things are just the way they are and that is why i will never be able to memorize the shit i'm suppose to memorize for some subjects. I feel so hopeless, I feel like an underachiever and I probably am but most of all, I'm failing school. I feel like i'm failing life. I know i shouldnt feel this way because school isnt everything, but today's society, without school, you wont get far, and the thought of that is very disappointing. i've wasted so many years in school, and the thought of not even reaching my goals is also very depressing. i cant find the strength within me to move on, and grade 12 will come by soon, and my dream university will not accept me. i'm already stuck on square one; reality is friendly.

assholes.

for the assholes on this site:
why don't you go stick a pin up your ass? it's obvious you have enough time to do so and enjoy it. the people on here need your sympathy, and i doubt they want to read your unhelpful words such as "you spelled you're wrong" or "IT'S YOUR FAULT." that's exactly the opposite of what they're looking for. how do i know? because i'm one of those people who've been hurt by your stupid comments. it's apparent that you enjoy reading about misery, but don't make it worse for the person in pain. that's beyond low.

Exams

I get the results for my january university exams on tuesday. I KNOW I'm going to fail them, I didn't even write part of one of them that was worth 60%. I don't know what to do, I'm not sure this is fixable. I might have to start again next year, which means telling my parents I've failed, which means telling my parents I have depression and which also means that I've wasted quite a lot of money being here this year...my parents money too. I am so screwed. I tried, I really did try, but I'm so fucking unhappy

I was about to make love to you for the first time, but then I started crying and I didn't know why. I knew it was right, for the first time, I knew it. I don't even know why I reacted like that before it actually happened, but I know you love me anyways because you held me there in your arms and said it was okay and stayed that way for the rest of the night.

happy birthday to me

so you might be busy that night. which is untrue. maybe you don't want to drink. fine, but i know that's a lie too. but at least as my friend, you should stop by to see me. i live less than 3 minutes from you. 10 minutes out of your life would not hurt you, it would make me happy. i don't want anything from you, i just want to see you on the only birthday i have that we will be in the same city for. thank you for being such an asshole and reaffirming my dislike for you. i hope i never fall for your stupid smile and goofiness again, but i know it will happen sooner rather than later.

It plays tricks sometimes...

I am angry and I don't know why. I just got out of a 2 year relationship. s;l fdkslfj sdlf;kjdsf kjdsflkjfh dskjlfoi3rf ewoif vdsfvgldfkj fkldg kdfljg fdl gbljk dgfbkjlfdgkjlasgjkdgfakjldsgakl fdsg kjgf fd kj fdkjlfdg kldfg lfdkjg hfdgjkafdghfdalkgadkjlg kjldg akjlg kljg lkjga gfljkfdjk agop4irewjfsdklfdsklsjdafklsafd;lkdsjfklsdafjlk;dafjkldf.

it plays tricks sometimes.

(One More Time) What if.........

your married with 2 children and found out today after a routine physical that you have a rare terminal illness that will kill you within 3 to 6 months. Before you tell your wife you get a scond, third and even fourth opionion and all are retruned with the same gut wrenching horrendous prognosis; your future is limited to 6 months. You decide to tell your wife and just as you are about to breakdown; she informs you that she also has some news, she is pregnant. So I ask all of you who happen along as well as you faithfull readers, what if.....?

Absolute Truth Exists

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." - C.S. Lewis

Thank you!

AS I sit here trying to avoid another evening of work, it comforts me to read all your posts. There is some weird unity in misery. Why is that I feel that all of you understand what each one of us are going through. I dont know you, and yet I feel a connection with you. As I read all the replies to my earlier posts and see people supporting and encouraging me with their responses...all I want to do is say a big THANK YOU!! for being there without actually being there. So, to all of those wonderful people in the world...remember that there is one person is the cyberworld who appreciates all your efforts..

And, yes...I have tried to avoid making spelling/grammatical errors on this post. So, if the English critiques who shower their talents on everyone else's misery...i ask that u spare this one...as, all I want to say is Thank You.

Not Sure Where to Go From Here?

Right now I feel as though I have two paths to take - one includes getting married, buying a house, having a ho-hum job, and living very close to where I was born - the other is much less clear, but it involves lots of travel, a lot of focus on my career, etc.

Not sure how to say this, but I can't see my fiance going for the second. He just wants a quiet family life - and a BIG part of me wants that too. The problem is that I want SO much more as well... If I continue down this path (towards marriage, family, etc.), I am really afraid that I will have to give up the other version of my life. If I pursue that other version, I feel like I'd have to give up the idea of marriage, family, etc. (Yes, I am THAT ambitious)...

I am truly in a Catch-22 - Our mothers fought for us to have it all, but did they ever consider that it may be impossible?

Download It Now

Volcanoes by Damien Rice

Two Days Ago

I had so much to say for in here two days ago- but it all seems to have been washed away. Life is good, today. Those things that seemed so problematic two days ago, seem so small and miniscule now. I hope it will last longer than a day though!

Damn

It's been a year. Why can't I get over her...........

Anna R Key

So Cool - what a place - the possibilities for free expression are endless - I will return

Anna R Key

Loser?

I'm 18 and I'm a virgin. I don't like being a virgin. Am I a loser?