Anonyblog

CNN NEWSFLASH

The entity known as INDY THE GREAT is reported to have landed on a distant planet called Girlturdia. The inhabitants, the Turdites, have welcomed him as a god, and he is reigning supreme in luxurious wealth. However, sources say that he misses earth, and is determined to destroy the Kodybear and the Magogo, and so shall return to earth as soon as he can build a turd rocket, as the Turdstar was destroyed in a blast of interplanetary girldiarrhea (pronounced as one word). More to follow.

please do

He said he's going to fuck me so good and hard that I will see stars.

I said PLEASE DO.

SHOCKING NEWS!!!

KodyBear is the admin of anonyblog! I have proof, which I shall reveal soon! This is incredible, but it explains alot!

("A lot" is spelt as I have it here, i.e. two words, you nincompoop!)

The LAB

Hi guys, I'm back.

I spent the rest of February trying to lick my elbow, but did not succeed. I have decided that the person who told me it was possible was in fact fibbing to me.

Anyway ...

Today I'm typing this, whilst watching soft pornography on the TV.

Tomorrow I shall be figuring out what I'm going to do the next day.

Lots of love,

Legitimate Anonymous Blogger

my new friend

Trying to see through the blurry, my eyes won't focus.

Windows Media Player switches from "Nirvana" to "Enya." I am so weird.

Can't think past the Vicodin. Having teeth out is much more fun than I thought.

It's that damn sunlight, why did I open the blinds???

He fell asleep on the phone last night, I thought that was so cute. I stayed a while to listen to the snoring.

I would like to talk more about my new friend who goes by the name "hydrocodone/acetaminophen."

I think I said it best last night. I couldn't wait for the "gates of relief" to open. That sounds so much better than "I can't wait for the vicodin to kick in." Either way, this is a nice break from everything. I didn't know how badly I needed this.

Sometimes the holes hurt so bad my head wants to implode. And sometimes it doesn't actually hurt that bad at all. But I do know better now than to take an antibiotic on an empty stomach.

Gotta go back to work tomorrow. Next song is in Spanish. Being bilingual is freakin awesome. So many more cool things to listen to.

Also wondering where Vapor has gone to. Just wondering.

Just another day doing not much at all.

Back to bed.

N

Sex in the Boondocks

I apologize in advance if this isnt as good or scanty as my last post, but A) this is the truth, prefacing what is to come next and B) I have the flu so my head isn't thinking as good as it usually does.......

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During our pillow talk, Brandon had told me that he had gotten another job. He was going to climb cell phone towers to check the lights and change anything else that was needed. It was a high paying job for our area and he was really excited. He wanted to tell our manager, but he felt bad because he liked the people he worked with. After we got out of the shower, I limped to the pile where my clothes lye. I was so sore from all the action that I couldn’t even walk right. We put our clothes on and went to the kitchen, where I made French Toast. Brandon had to work, so after breakfast I dropped him off at his house. Before I dropped him off however, we agreed not to tell anybody about what had happened. He was still engaged, and I did not want to get a bad reputation in this new town.

About a week after we hooked up, I had gotten a call around 11p.m. It was Travis, one of Derek’s room mates. They were having another party and wanted me to come out. However, I had made plans for the next morning to go horseback riding before work. I told Travis I would love to go, however tonight was not a good night. The next thing I know, Travis is swearing at me, telling me that it was okay for me to come to the party even though I was not with Derek anymore. I agreed with him but continued to attempt to explain that it was not Derek that was keeping me from going, but that I had plans for early the next morning. It didn’t matter. Travis was drunk and there was no point trying to explain. He hung up on me eventually and I tried to go to sleep. Tried. A few minutes later, I got a call from Brandon. He was trying to convince me to come out as well, but wanted to know why I “treated Travis like I did.” Once again, I tried to explain I hadn’t meant to offend Travis, but that night was just not a good night for me to go out. However, before I was able to explain myself to Brandon, Derek ripped the phone out of his hand. He then proceeded to call me names and told me to never talk to him or any of his friends ever again, then hung up. I started bawling. Now what??

I woke up the next morning and drove out to the barn. My friend and I saddled up and went for a good run. All of the action from the night before had me still upset, but everything changes from the back of a horse. It was growing close to 8 am, so we rode back to the barn, untacked and I left for work. I wobbled into work, still in my breeches and boots and changed in the bathroom. My whole body was trembling. Between the earth shattering sex from a few days before, the fight between myself and the guys and all the muscles I had used that morning in my ride, I could barely stand. Brandon was supposed to work that morning with me and I had thought it weird that he wasn’t there yet. I saw Garrett, another one of Derek’s room mates and asked him what had happened and where Brandon was. I was astonished when Garrett told me what had happened the night before. Brandon had stood up for me after Derek flipped out. However, this created an argument between the cousins and they got into a fight. Derek accused Brandon of trying to take away every girl he had ever been with. They wrestled to the ground, when Brandon pinned Derek. Drunk, Derek continued to spout off his mouth, so of course Brandon punched him in the head until Derek was unconscious. Immediately afterwards, Brandon told Garrett to tell our manager that he was not going in to work the next morning, and that he would not be coming in again. He left the house and walked away into the night.

Around noon that day, Derek called in an order for a pizza. I didn’t know what to do or say when he came in. However, when he strolled in about a half hour later, he acted like nothing had happened. He had bruises all over his face. He apologized for the night before but said he didn’t remember anything until that morning. I accepted his apology and went back to work.

A few days later, I was working at the video store with my friend Sam. She had noticed that I had been sore for the past week or so and asked me what was wrong. I tried to brush it off on all the horseback riding I had been doing that week, but she quickly put the truth together. Brandon came in later on in the afternoon with a cheesy grin on his face. He began telling me about that night, and apologized for blowing up on me. I assured him I didn’t think he had said anything offensive. Then Brandon showed me his right hand. It was swollen about twice the normal size and colors ranged from the caramel brown that his skin was naturally, to grey blue and green. He had shattered it on Derek’s head when he was beating the crap out of him. Because of this, Brandon was unable to climb the towers and thus ineligible for the job he was counting on. The pizza place wouldn’t take him back, so he was staying at Derek’s house while his hand healed. Sam went in the back to put away some XXX movies that a customer had brought in previously. Brandon leaned in and kissed me. I saw stars again. He asked what I was doing that night and I told him I had to work at the pizza place. Brandon gave me Garrett’s phone number since he didn’t have his own and told me to call him as soon as I got off work. I knew what was in store. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole rest of the day.

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear lay exhausted on the beach looking at the wreckage of the Kody Submarine. The sub was about one hundred yards offshore grounded on the reef with only the coning tower visible. Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey and Dooky were headed back in the life boat with the last load of cash. It took one hundred and twelve trips in all and Magogo, low on battery power, stumbled on the reef and inhaled a gallon of girlurine ocean water. He began to vomit immediately.

"Goddamn you Magogo!", croaked His Excellency. "Don't vomit on the money! Get your ass over here with that laptop and lets figure out where we are. See here my fur is completely stained yellow. You must get us a motor car and take us all somewhere to be cleaned. Then we must find a bank and something to eat."

"Motor car Yo Eminence? Shit. We gwine to needs a tracker trailer to tote all dis cash."

"Well you and Dooky handle it then. Can't you see that I'm sick? And Magogo please don't forget to bring batteries."

"Yes Yo Eminence. C'mon Dooky. We's gwine to handle some shit now."

The KodyBear languished on the beach using the urine soaked cash for shelter. The GPS on the laptop indicated that he was about one hundred kilometers East of Springbok. After what seemed like a week he heard the sound of a vehicle and then Magogo's unmistakable cursing and farting. When he next awoke he was in a luxurious bed with Magogo and Dooky at his side.

"Magogo! Dooky! Where's the money? Where am I?"

"We dun put most of de sixty billion in de Standard Bank of South Africa. De bank manganer he say de money smell like urine. You in de Radisson Yo Eminence. We dun had all our fur cleaned and Yo gots new lithium batteries to boot."

"Excellent. I'll take you both to dinner. What is your preference Sir Magogo?"

"I wants Mexican boss. Dooky say he ain't care as long as dey gots Fosters."

The Cantina Tequila was on the waterfront and had a wonderfully refreshing atmosphere. The Kody eyed the waitress with sad intent while Magogo gorged himself on tacos and burritos. Dooky was content with a salad but was consuming an alarming amount of beer.

"See here Magogo. That kangaroo is going to get fat if he keeps drinking like this. Now it's time we made a new plan what ? what? I don't think we have to worry about the Arch Nemesis for a while so we'll just stay here and explore Cape Town until we leave for Paris. Yes Hmm?"

"Dat be jis great Yo Eminence", said Magogo approaching his master.

"Magogo. Just what do you think your doing?"

Suddenly the Monkey turned, started laughing, and shit out the most horrendous mess of liquid burritos and tacos all over the table in the directions of the Kody. Dooky quietly hopped away from the table as the Kody jumped out of his seat not believing his eyes.

"Magogo! get the fuck out of here you toxic little bastard! Miss! Hey you! We'll take our check now please! El cheque! El cheque! Don't worry. We wont be back. At least not this filthy bugger.", he said, pointing at Magogo. "Dooky! Hop out there and get us a cab and be quick about it!"

In the cab on the way back to the hotel Magogo could not stop laughing.

"What the hell is the matter with you anyway Magogo? Where did you get such an idea to pull a stunt like that?"

"I done read it on Anonyblog.", Magogo snickered. It suppose to be de new sex move sweeping de whole world. An it suppose to be a surprise too."

"Magogo you Sir are a mongrel breeder. You simply must set a better example for young Dooky here and stop reading the pure rubbish that gets posted on that site. Why don't you do something constructive like work on our Paris itinerary? Oh! Look! We've received an e-mail from Low Life Films! How exciting! Monster patrol? I don't remember doing that."

"Dat sho nuff is some great film making Yo Eminence."

there's a rumor

There's a rumor that the wickedly snarky Violent Acres blog is the same person/persons as Clueless In Carolina blog. I've been seeing that rumor since it began.

I like her blog, because of her attitude, but if she's going to continue to dis other bloggers, shouldn't they have the right to defend themselves?

If it's the same person, she has pictures of her children on her other blog. Isn't that exploiting them? Isn't she a hypocrite for slamming those other mothers? It seems irrational that she would blame them for putting pictures of their kids up and then she does the same thing, only the pictures that she puts up are worse.

"seemed strange, seemed strange cause i feel the same"

Does it make you a bad person if you break up with someone else. And is it just me or is this what a lot of people ask themselves? I don't want to be the biggest asshole ever, but I don't want to be in something that I constantly question. I even feel bad writing this. And when it comes down to it I'm too scared of being by myself, going back to how my life was. I'm too weak to end it and to be on my own. Is my life destined to be unhappy? But I can't act like I'm totally unhappy. I'm happy a lot of the time, but I think a lot. A lot. "It's hard to be the better man"

its never

too late
hardcore session
real
life
...

Serial Monogamy Gone Awry

In high school, it was Tyler - a solid year of chaste courtship before we headed off to college. Then in college, I went straight to Eric. It's been six years - since the time I was 18, I've slept only with him.

I wonder if the seven-year itch is coming up. I think in many ways, it already has. While I know it's just human nature to be attracted to other people, every once in a while I meet someone else whom I think could really be the proverbial One, had Eric and I never met.

Or maybe, I just need to stop seeing my boss.

What Could This Be???

So I'm literally allergic to the cold, and I'm from Chicago. About two weeks ago, my face broke out rediculously into hives around my eyes, I got big red and white blotches all down my cheeks and the rest of my face was swollen. I took some Benadryl and it went away after some time and a LOT of sleep. But when this happend, I also got really dark cirles under my eye. Not the kind that you get with lack of sleep. No, I looked like I had gotten punched in the eye. And I hadn't. So it started to go away. The weather is warmer now, and my eye is getting worse now. Its just REALLY red now, and it itches REALLY bad. Does anybody have ANY clue what this could be?? I don't want to go to a Dr. if I don't need to because I don't have insurance. HELP!!

Negative Things In Her Handwriting

My wife and I are on the verge of divorce. We are seeing a Christian Minister for counselling, and he is doing a great job. She can manipulate religious people with psycho-christian babble.

My wife has written two books on spirituality and the books have a nice sweet ring to them. Underneath, she is cold blooded and manipulative.

She wants me to embrace every single thing she says and does, without question, or I am not "respecting her".

We've been married for 18 years and together for 20. The last 12 years or so, she has kept a written journal. She writes down things that happen, anecdotes, etc., that she feels are important in her life. She also keeps the journals compiled by year. Most of the material in both books were pulled from these journals.

The parts she didn't use for the books, for the most part, were about me. Negative, spiteful, nasty things, with as much immature venom as she could muster. I have caught her doing this three times, each 2 or 3 years apart. Everytime she says "You do not have the right to read my journal it is private....." even though it is on loose leaf paper, in a 3 ring binder, in the middle of the kitchen table in plain view. Each time we end up in a confrontation, she promises to stop writing about me, and I promise to quit looking. This last time, I had not read it for over a year, but I caught her while she was writing about something that happened 6 months before. We discussed the event then, and she told me I didn't remember it right, and what she was writing was the "whole truth". It was then I started reading it again, seeing my screwups turned jet black, and anything I did right.....well, she never did tell me I do anythign right, so I guess it wouldn't show up int here.

Yesterday in confrontation on it, she says "I don't even have the rights to my thoughts now.....You are taking away my ability to think.....You are saying I'm not even entitled to my feelings."

These have little to do with thoughts....there was a manifestiation of my death in there (she "prayerfuly asked" if my health issues I was having were almost over, and she got a recorded phone call about funeral planning and then Home Makeover that night was about a dad with cancer. She then "asked" the angels if those were signs and "they" told her yes. She lives by the Wayne Dyer motto of "If you think about it enough you can manifest anything"......so, if I can't get cancer on my own and die, she'll just manifest the tumor. Kind of a "new age" version of the voo doo doll.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression 2 years ago, and take meds for it. She wrote that 9 years ago, when she was pregnant with our second daughter, I channeled my depression, that I didn't know I had then, into her pregnant body and made her suffer deep depression. Never mind the fact she was 200 pounds overweight, and on complete bedrest at the time because of her health. She can never get depression according to her, and she constantly has to fight the urge to go there, because "living with a depressed person is....well........depressing".

These journals go on and on with stories like this. They are written in her handwriting, and the kids have access to them. There is not, and I am not exaggerating, not one positive thing about me in any of the 12 years or so of them. I took the family to the beach for a week, flying on her birthday no less, and she never even mentioned it!!! And, I HATE the beach!!!

Am I wrong to think I have a right to know these things are written about me, and to attempt to put a stop to it or destroy them?

Am I crazy to give a crap these exist, or that they are basically my legacy to our children, in writing, of every thing that she didn't like? Or, do you think it will back fire and blow up in her face when the kids are older and realize she is full of crap?

I'm also thinking they would make some dandy evidence in a custody fight!!!

Thanks....I invite all viewpoints.

peepee and poopoo

teetee and doodoo

(pronounced as one word)

KODYBEAR

The KodyBear relaxed is his Bear-Captains-Quarters reading the Wall Street Journal and sipping a Rodney Strong Cabernet Sauvignon. He noticed that the cabin temperature was becoming increasingly warmer. Just as he was reaching for the Bear-Horn to summon Magogo a leak sprung over his head spraying bright yellow girlurine in his general direction. "Oh my! That is disgusting!", he shrieked, grabbing for his Bear-Captains hat and baseball bat. Upon opening the cabin door a tide of girlurin ocean water rushed over his feet and he began to wretch and vomit as he sloshed down the main corridor to the helm. There he found Magogo waist deep in filth attempting to patch the leaks with hundred dollar bills.

"Magogo! You were supposed to keep me informed as to the girlurine content of the Ocean!"

"I'm sorry Yo Eminence." The Monkey began to convulse and vomit on himself. "It happened real sudden like."

"Fuck you Magogo. You're nothing but a fake bitch, that doesn't give a shit about anyone but yourself. You like to talk about people behind their back and cause poopy chaos. You're a whore, you'll spread your legs for pretty much anyone that comes along.

"But Yo Benevolence. Yo hasn't got's no call to talk to me.....

'SIlence! I find your performance lacking as my first officer Magogo. What your doing there is never going to work. See here Magogo we'll make a poultice of sorts. First run a few hundred thousand dollars through the paper shredder. Next make a thick mixture of BearTurds,Monkey turds and Kangaroo droppings. Stir in the shredded money and plug up these leaks." The Bear had to pause a minute to projectile Bear vomit all over the main control panel. Wiping the bile off his chin he blurted, "Get us to the surface before I get sick."

"Yes Yo Benevolence."

Upon surfacing the three stepped onto the deck and had a look around. They floated on a frothy,steaming sea of yellow, soaked in piss. Dead fish and seagulls drifted by the slowly moving boat. BearTurd surveyed the situation. Fighting back his gag reflex he said, "This is probably not good for the environment. How far is Cape Town anyway?"

"Bout three mo days Yo Radiance."

"We can live with that I guess. You look a little green in th face Magogo. Serves you right what with that ridiculous giant dung beetle idea you sold me on. Exactly where is the TurdStar?"

"De MMTF say dey trackin it almost to Mars Yo Heinous."

"Mars? That is ludicrous. He's probably out there somewhere having a holiday. This is really pissing me off. Oh my goodness! Look to the East Magogo! What the hell is that?"

There in the twilight they could see a streak of glowing yellow extending from the horizon into the heavens.

"This is just too fucking bizarre", said Bearturd.

"Yeah right Yo Eminence."

Sex in the Boondocks

I had been seeing Derek for about a month when we broke up. His crystal clear blue eyes and exceptionally muscular body made him exactly what I was looking for. He claimed he didn't want a girlfriend, which was fine with me. I wasn't too heartbroken, I was just confused because I had just moved there and him and his friends were the only people I had met. What was I supposed to do now?? Who would I be friends with?? The town was so small, and it was not exactly Mayberry. About a week before the breakup, the local police had found two child molestors living in the town, blocks away from the elementry school. In such a new and scary place, I was scared to be alone.

I was working two jobs at the time: the local video store and a pizza place. In fact, that is how I first met Derek and his cousin Brandon. Shortly after their first appearance at the video store, Brandon began working with me at the pizza place. He was tall dark and handsome. Brandon was the one to hook Derek and I up. They always talked about how Derek and I and Brandon and his fiance should go out. We never did.

After Derek and I broke up, I became closer with Brandon at work. I told him that I wasn't upset about the breakup in itself, just that I didn't have any friends now that we weren't together. Brandon was quick to assure me that I was still able to hang out with him and his friends, Derek included.

One night after I got home from working at the video store, I get a call from Brandon. They were having a party at Derek's house and everybody wanted me to come out. I reluctantly agreed after talking to Derek to make sure it was fine with him. I get to their house and I was greeted by Brandon at the door. However, when I walked in, everybody else was gone. I was handed a beer and we sat on the couch. I asked him where everybody went and he said that everyone left or went to sleep. I was nervous at first but soon enough the beer took care of that. Brandon leaned in to kiss me and I pulled back. He was engaged and I reminded him of that. He didn't care. He said that he just wanted one kiss.

But one kiss turned to making out. Between the toe curling passion and the beer, we ripped off eachother's clothes. The second he took off his boxers though, I could not believe my eyes. I had no idea they could be that big. Holy cow! Aparantly what they say about black guys is true when they're mixed too. I made him hold off for a minute because I had to give my brain some time to comprehend exactly how big it really was. REALLY BIG. Finally I gave in. It hurt like hell. But in a good way. Soon enough all the couch cushions were thrown clear across the room, the lamp was knocked over, and I had inflicted several scratch marks along his back. I had never had sex this amazing, in fact I had no idea sex could feel this good.

Then I had a moment of clarity. Derek was only feet away in his bedroom, probably hearing everything. Not to mention the other room mates in the house. So we threw our clothes on and ran to my truck. I couldn't drive fast enough. Brandon had lived in the area his whole life, so he knew the backroads to get to our farm better than the back of his hand. We made it back to my house in 15 minutes, a drive that usually takes 30. As I opened my door however, my rottweilers took one look at Brandon and freaked out. He waited outside while I put my dogs on the poorch. I greeted Brandon at the front door, and the second he stepped inside the door, I threw him against the wall in another furry of passion. Off went the clothes. Naked, I jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He carried me up the stairs while I feverishly kissed his neck. Once we reached the top of the stairs, he threw me on the bed.

In it went again. It still hurt like a bitch. But still in a good way. I could feel him inside of me everywhere. I felt like my esophogus would come out my mouth to make room for him. I looked down and realized that he wasn't even completely in. With another eager thrust, he was completely inside me. I looked at my stomach as he thrusted with all his might, and I saw him poking my stomach outward. It felt phenomenal. I bit him on the top of his chest. I couldn't help it. Suddenly Brandon let out a moan. I knew he had finished. I was disappointed because I didn't want it to end. But then something remarkable happend. He kept going. My carnal desires did not stop there.

Five hours later we were exhausted and tired. The sun had come up, and the tractors were outside back to work. We laid there, stunned by what had happend. Finally the exhaustion got to us and we passed out. We awoke three hours later and the reality of what happend hit us. He was still engaged. I was still new to the town. I knew what I had done was very wrong, but the sex was mind-blowing. All I knew was I had to get more. So in the shower we went.

To be continued....

fuck you danielle. you're nothing but a fake bitch, that doesn't give a shit about anyone but yourself. you like to talk about people behind their back and cause chaos. you're a whore, you'll spread your legs for pretty much anyone that comes along. you're a "carpenter's dream" flat as a board and easy to nail. and you're a drunk. just like me. in our group of friends, all you wanted was enough ammunition to make me look like a terrible person. well fuck you, i never did anything that bad to you, play the victim if you want. you can have our friends as long as i can be free of you and your sick fucking games. i feel relieved that you're not in my life anymore, and now all i want is to be rid of my resentment for you, so i can go on living my life, and you can continue your shitty little existence.

girlpoop (pronounced as one word)

girlfarts (pronounced as one word)

RICKY FINKLESTEIN

I eat poopoo from teenage-girls (pronounced as one word).

VIDEO FOR KODYBEAR FROM INDY THE GREAT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCDalbdisjw

IMPORTANT VIDEO FOR KODYBEAR AND MAGOGO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

I hate my ex

I wish I could get him the hell out of my life. And yet, I haven't seen him in well over two years. The problem is that he resides in my head. He gets in the way of all my relationships since I dated him. He damaged me, and I hate the fucker. I stayed with him for 4 years. All the while he lied to me, cheated on me, abused me. And everytime I tried to leave him, he'd threaten to kill himself. Why the fuck did I care? I finally was able to move on. I was finally able to tell him to get help. And with the help of friends and family, I was finally able to get him out of my physical life. I just wish it were so easy to get him out of my emotional life. I wish I didn't constantly think about him when I'm with new guys. I wish I didn't care that he's probably doing the same thing to his new girlfriend now. I wish I'd gotten his ass taken to jail for all the abuse he put me through. And I wish I could undo all the damage he did and will do to others. I hate him, but I've moved on. Hopefully, my emotions can move on, too... with time.

TODAY'S RECIPE

Mexican Cornbread

1 Cup cornmeal, yellow or blue
1 Cup milk, sweet
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ Teaspoon salt
2 jalapeño peppers, finely chopped
1 (14 ounce) can creamed corn
2 eggs, well beaten
1 cup green onions, finely chopped
½ Lb cheddar cheese, grated
¼ cup olive oil

1. Mix all of the ingredients together, except the oil, and reserve half of the cheese for toping.

2. Put the oil in a skillet and heat over medium heat until hot.

3. Pour over cornmeal mixture in bowl.

4. Stir fast to melt cheese.

5. Pour mixture into hot skillet and top with remaining cheese.

6. Bake at 350’ for 40 minutes.

This cornbread recipe goes good with the Mexican Pork Stew dish.

Enjoy,

Master Chef Vapor

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear was in the Kaptain’s quarters of the Kody Sub. The room was quite luxurious and well suited to the Great BearTurd God. His Radiance was currently relaxed on a huge pile of one hundred dollar bills sipping a fine Napoleon brandy and watching reruns of the Brady Bunch. With his sensitive Bear Ears he could hear Sir Magogo the Knighted Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey muddling his way down the Main corridor.

“Oh Magogo. Please don’t hesitate to come in here and disturb me with another one of your ridiculous ideas about defeating the Arch Nemesis”, he shouted.

“We got a problem Yo Excellency. De girlurine content of de ocean is at sixty nine parts per millionth and goin up. De MMTF sayin at dis rate de hull will be eroded befo we can make it to Cape Town.”

“This is indeed some bad news you have brought to me. We must get to Cape Town before the hull is breeched. There’s sixty billion dollars cash on this boat that we can’t afford to lose. I plan to finance an army of Kangaroos. You Macarena monkeys have proven most troublesome and ineffective in this never ending struggle. Yes. This is depressing. You know that I’m depressed don’t you Magogo?”

“I was afraid of that Yo Eminence.”

“And you know I’ve been cooped up in this Sub for weeks now. Yes? Hmm?”

“I ain’t like where dis conversation be goin Yo Benevolence.”, said the now nervous Ape-servant.

“I don’t really care if you like it or not Magogo.”,growled BearTurd. You know what you must do. You know what you want to do. I’m stressed. Now come here now or I’ll make you wear the blonde wig and the knee pads.”

“Please boss. Dis ain’t right. I been always’s loyal to you and always wiffin wif you and why Yo can’t you make de Kangaroo do it dis time?”

“Magogo! You sick bastard! He’s still a joey. Now get over here and we’ll both feel a lot better. You’ll see. Yes? Hmm?”

“Yes boss.”

MOTHERFUCKING INDY

I AM INDY THE GREAT THE MOTHERFUCKING KING OF SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT! I EAT SHIT! I BATHE IN SHIT! MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND SHIT SHIT SHIT AND ONLY SHIT! I BATHE IN AND EAT AND CHEW AND SWALLOW THE FECES-SHIT-TURD-BOWEL-MOVEMENTS OF BEAUTIFUL 18 YEAR OLD GIRLS!!! I LOVE SHIT!

It is cold here.

I can't wait til summer. :)

I eat poopoo from girls.

I HATE YOU

I hate you so much. GOD I hate you so much. Why don't you ever listen to me??? I told you to stop calling me at 2, 3, and any other very early hour of the morning. So why do you get pissed off when I OBVIOUSLY don't want to talk at those times? And you don't even want to talk to me, you just want to tell me either you love me or you hate me. I understand, but I'm pretty sure this could all wait until a more appropriate time. I for one have a job that requires my attendance.

I told you to get your shit together, that I can't do everything for you all the time. I don't mind, but it just wasn't gonna work for too long like that. You said to just stop, you'd be fine. But look. I stoppped now, and where are you? You're lost. Maybe that's my fault. But were you EVER going to go anywhere on your own?

Maybe if you would have opened your eyes on your OWN, you would've been able to see what you had before it was too late. No. You were too damned scared, and that's the truth. That is nobody's fault, and I should have understood. But then what the hell did you want from me if you didn't want it to eventually lead to a close relationship? The truth is that was what you wanted. But you were so scared you were going to get screwed over again that you refused to believe in the relationship. Every single tiny, minute little obstacle we met, you were right there with your bags packed, ready to go. I felt like an idiot. We squabble over something stupid, as everyone does, and you're here ready to give up. It was like you were trying to have as few ties into that relationship as possible.

I'M FUCKING TIRED OF MY THROAT FEELING LIKE IT'S CLOSING. I'M TIRED OF NOT SLEEPING WELL. I'M TIRED OF THE ANXIETY. I am so stressed out I really am considering medicating. I can't function under extended periods of extreme stress. I'm tired of hearing you call me names and say "what the fuck did I do to you?" You didn't do anything. So what if you were going to give me everything. I didn't want everything. I don't even care about having money, I never have. What I wanted was to be able to have a relationship with you, and only you. Not you and the rest of your fucking family. Then I feel like I'm your sister. Remember when I wouldn't sleep with you? That was because it felt weird. I spent so much time with you and your family, I felt more like a friend than someone you should be sleeping with. You don't sleep with your sister.

And you're wrong about your sister. No, we are not together anymore, and yes she is still your sister and still there for you. But she can NEVER be the kind of friend to you that I was. Admit it, you know I have been the best friend you have ever had. Sure, she can be your best friend, and you guys can have a lot of fun. But there's just some things you can't talk to her about. And all sexual references aside, there's just some things she can't do for you, and if she does, that's gross. That makes you guys very, very weird. So whatever. I don't even care.

I know I hurt you. But whatever. Just stop calling me. Just go fuckin play with your sister, that's all you ever wanted to do, right? Just wanted to spend time with your sister. After everything I did for you. You said I was number 1. You knew I was number one. And somehow, in some twisted way, I really was not number 1. You said I was lucky to even be considered equally important. No, that's wrong. If you are in a serious romantic relationship, talking about getting married, you are saying "I love you more than anything in the world." You saying I was only (barely) equal was you telling me that you were not serious. Maybe you were, but your serious is very twisted. It's not fair to treat me like that. That's why.

I don't want to deal with this anymore. I'm fucking moving, okay? I didn't get into the school I wanted. So fuck it, there's no point. I don't even WANT to have to grow up and be somebody. I hate feeling like I have to comply to these rules and "contribute to society." I have the chance to do what I really want to do, and I'm taking it. In all actuality, it's nothing personal. I just know what I want.

You break my heart. I really did want to stay. But it will never work. You never believed in it. That makes it not worth it. As much as it hurts, it will be better to just forget it. It hurts a lot, but you'll be fine as long as you don't do anything stupid. Just do something for yourself already. Stop worrying about everyone else. That's the only way you can get anything done. Good luck.

INDY THE GREAT

Well, the Finklesterin Faktion finally caught me. Yes, I am Sydney. I guess the game is up.

TODAY’ RECIPE

Mexican Pork Stew

4 boneless pork chops, cut into 3/4-inch cubes
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 (14 1/2-ounce) can diced tomatoes, Mexican style
1/3 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 to 2 fresh jalapeño chilies, seeded and chopped*
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 tablespoons cold water
1 tablespoons cornstarch

1.In large saucepan cook and stir onion and garlic in oil until tender but not brown.

2.Add pork, cook and stir 2 to 3 minutes, until starting to brown.

3.Stir in tomatoes, cilantro, salt and pepper; bring to boiling, reduce heat. Cover and simmer 10 minutes or until pork is tender.

4.In small bowl blend together water and cornstarch until smooth, stir into saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens slightly.

Spoon into bowls and garnish with sour cream and chopped jalapeño pepper.
Serve with Mexican style cornbread.

I hope this savory stew warms you up on a cold day.

Enjoy,
Master Chef Vapor

INDY aka Sydney ...

Indy, how did you arrive at that screen name? I’m guessing it had something to do with Monique. You remember Monique don’t you Syd? I’m sure you do! Surprised, frightened, worried, damn all those feelings swirling around inside your demented brain. Syd, your time is up and yes, we have called the police to tell them what we know.

Indy, otherwise known as Sydney is a small framed 62 year old man that lives here in New Orleans Louisiana. I know him well because up to 1 year ago, he and I along with my wife Debra had dinner together every week for the last 12 years. That is up until we discovered what he truly is. Syd has always been passionate about computers, one of those tech people that could do anything. He is a friendly enough easy going guy that is actually very likeable. He works for a local shelter her in the city as their network administrator. One night my wife happened to notice Syd’s opened laptop on the living room coffee table. My wife Deb is a curious woman so she hit the touch pad to see what Syd was up to and there it was in living color, a porn site, and not just any porn site but one that was based on kids. My wife returned to the table and was obviously shaken. It wasn’t until we were on our way home later that night that she told me what she saw. We decided we should investigate Syd a little more and boy, I can tell you we are glad we did. Turns out Syd, AKA Indy is a convicted sexual molester who served time in Tennessee for molesting a 7 year old juvenile boy!
After we discovered this we never spoke with Syd again until just 3 weeks ago. We were out and ran into him in a local tavern and guess what he was doing? Surfing the net! Same laptop except one major difference, this time no child pornography but an unfinished post right here on Anonyblog.

Now this is where this gets creepy. During our friendship Syd and I would meet for lunch once or twice per week as we worked in the same neighborhood. We would often go to a local little bistro where we met this beautiful young girl named Monique who worked there as a waitress. Monique was a sweetheart and as I said earlier she was gorgeous. Hell, ask Indy, he will tell you! Anyway, Monique would always wait on us as we would be sure to sit in her section. Monique could not have been more than 19 or 20 years old. She was in New Orleans attending Xavier and working as a waitress to raise some spending money. Well shortly after Deb and I discovered Syd’s real passion we were disturbed to discover that a little 8 year old girl was found strangled and sexually molested in the city. We or I did not put 2 and 2 together until just last Sunday. The girls name was India, her mother’s first name, Monique.

Is anyone shocked?

Guess what? I’m not shocked Mr. Indy. And Mr. Kody, I really don’t give a rat’s ass! Unlike some of the posters here I just don’t care what you post. Do you know why? Because I don’t have to read it! So kids, your shock and awe times are over! My God, even your comments have become boring and mundane.
No, I’m not Clan or Anti-Clan! I’m not even a regular contributor! I am a regular visitor and I have visited Anonyblog for a while now, actually it’s been about a year. So, I’m trying to say I’m glad you both are not constantly posting. Even when the road ditches become filled with trash it is rather hard to ignore and after a while someone has to go clean it up. So, Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Someone, thank you for pushing the issue until these two bullies got the message. I for one am pleased that I no longer have to scroll past post after post of the junk you two manufacturer. Your current posts of one or two a week is definitely more agreeable and welcomed than your past methods.
Those of you that want to comment, please understand I do not want to hear your false praising of these two idiots as you are fully aware of their past posts. No one, with the sole exception of the authors and their close friends (read Vapor) care! Plus those of you that rally and say; “Please, but I need my daily load of shit to function within our dismal society”. I say, get a life! If you cannot hear me then your head is truly inserted into Kody’s and Indy’s ass so deep that you are beyond all help! Yes, your ears are shit encased and your eyes covered for you know not what you see. You are the blind leading the blind and we know from history that this path leads no where!
The fishing contest is on and Admin has set the hook and is reeling in the shit! Way to go!

INDY THE GREAT

Indy the Great sits atop a giant pile of girlturds (pronounced as one word) in the turdthroneroom (pronounced as one word) of the Turdstar. Halifax the Bi-Curious Manservant and Necromancer, and Leroy Cleophus Washington the Resurrected Undead Manservant, enter the room wearing gas masks and hazardous materials suits.

Um, Indy?

WHAT???

I mean, Lord Turdor?

Yes? Much better.

We have been neglecting the Turd Wars, Sir. The poor Turd Star is so full of girlurine (pronounced as one word) that she is about to burst.

Good God! I forgot that we were force-feeding (pronounced as one word) her cranberry juice, malt liquor, coffee, and red wine! Good Lord! It is time to pee onto the earth to replace all of the water in the oceans with girlurine (pronounced as one word) in order to eat away at the hull of the Kodysub! Open the valves! Pee forth!

Yeeeeeeeeees maaaaaaaaassaaaaaaaaaaahh.

Leroy fires the main cannon. Moans and grunts of satisfaction are heard from the depths of the Turdstar as megatons of girlurine (pronounced as one word) begins to shoot out.

What the hell is happening, Halifax?

Oh no, Lord! We forgot Newton's Laws of Motion! For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction! We are being propelled throgh space by the force of the girlurine (pronounced as one word)! It is acting like a rocket engine! We are traveling at ludicrous speed!

Ludicrous speed???

Ludicrous speed!!

Good Lord! Where are we heading?

To the outer recesses of the solar-system (pronounced as one word)!

Well, perhaps we shall find intelligent life, an advanced civilization that can help us destroy the Kodybear and the Magogo. For now, let's just enjoy the ride.

*The Turdstar shoots through space with a giant girlurine (pronounced as one word) cannon blasting it at over 100,000 miles per minute toward the planet formerly known as Pluto. What will happen next? Stay-tuned (pronounced as one word)!

Absolutely disgusting

Don’t you hate the local TV and radio commercials that use their young daughter or son to speak? I have to boycott those places.

Feb the 14th

Happy Singles Awareness Day everyone ...

etc ...

Lurve,
- The GPR (ex)

*Happy* Valentine's Day

It's time to party!

Where are you heading, x? Off to study.

Besides, I know where the real party's at:

• watching your friends on Facebook actually have lives
• watching couples passionately embrace when you have no romantic partner of your own
• feeling just dandy as you watch everybody's away messages change to sickening wishes of Valentine's Day enjoyment; you just know what the subtext is
• being kicked around like a bag of shit until you're needed, and then returning to that state immediately after

Happy fabulous fucking frustrating February fourteenth, everybody.

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Eminence Excellency Kody R Bear relaxed in his private chambers aboard the Kody Sub. Happy to be on vacation from the Great Turd War he was reading this month's issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine and TV Guide. Vile Toxins seemed to be in decline lately and the BearTurd God needed some new Ideas. Hearing some disturbing sounds that might indicate stress on the sub's hull he quickly summoned his Ape-Servant (********** ** *** ****) Sir Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey. Getting no response he rushed to the control room only to find Magogo and Dooky passed out and the floor littered with empty containers of Old English and Fosters Lager cans. A glance at the depth gauge told him they were at almost two thousand fathoms.

"Goddammit", he shrieked. "You drunken bastards are going to kill us all! What do you think this is? The fucking Red October? Level us off at five hundred meters and see me in my chambers! Read the fucking manual will you?"

Twenty minutes later he heard his crew laughing,hopping and bumbling down the corridor on their way to his quarters.

"Both of you . I'm astounded at your stupidity! Here are your new orders. I want the TurdStar tracked. I want to know it's exact location at all times. I want the ocean water tested for girl urine every twelve hours! We are the saviors of the Earth! Dooky! I expect you to be well versed in the operations of this sub within one month. Perform well and you shall be rewarded with your own image-likeness! At that time Sir Magogo and myself will begin our European vacation and you will be in charge! Should Indy the Great attack it will be all on your ass! I'll be dammed if I have to have my Amsterdam Paris trip interrupted by this TurdWar bullshit! For the time being keep us on course for Cape Town. We have unfinished business there. I want to sample the prostitutes there. I here they are quite young and exotic. By the way Magogo did you see that the Dixie Chicks won five Grammy's? Yes? Hmm? Don't forget that when I ask you to compose for me again. Back to work!"

"Yes Yo Esteemed Irrelevance"

"What? What did you say?"

"Yes Yo Esteemed Radiance Relevance"

6th grade math

Sucks. I have forgotten more 6th grade math than I ever learned. My daughter who is a stellar student has asked me for assistance with her math. Jeeze! Does anyone remember fractions? Plus let me tell you about their method of estimating they are learning (read "New Math). Am I crazy or just a bad math guy?

A man walks into a scat party and eats a girlturd.

Two friends, a blond and a redhead, are walking down the street and
pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her
flowers.
The redhead sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers
again."
The blond looks quizzically at her and says, "You don't like getting
flowers from your boyfriend?"
The redhead replies, "I love getting flowers, but he always has
expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like
spending the next three days on my back, with my legs in the air."
The blond says, "Don't you have a vase?"

Every man's memory is
his private literature. >^..^<

Hi Guys

This weekend I experimented with stroking my nose. It was not half as fun as stroking my penis, but amazingly enough, the SAME THING HAPPENED! Well, not quite the same ... This time, it was a green substance that came shooting out, accompanied by a rush of air. Also, this happened in only one explosive burst, as opposed to five or six. I was surprised but not ecstatic.

Today I shall try, as suggested, to stroke my elbow.

Tomorrow I shall document the results of my experiment.

Yours,
Legitimate Anonymous Blogger

Which one do you want?

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Treasure Valley market:

" Meridian Barbie":

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

" Nampa Barbie":

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Eagle Barbie":

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Caldwell Barbie":

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"BODO Barbie":

This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built high rise condo.

"The Northend Barbie":

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two North End Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

My Father: The Idiot

My father is loosing his farm because he has not been able to pay the mortgage in at least 6 months. Its easy to feel sorry for him just hearing that, but read the rest of this and you won't. He's getting over 4 grand back from his taxes. However, instead of trying to keep the farm or pay off the bills he is swimming in, he is buying a high end computer. I believe he said something like 17" flatscreen that swivels.....instead of hmmmm mortgage or a heat bill or groceries for my little brother that lives there. My father is a truck driver so he is on the road all the time meanwhile, my 17 year old brother is stuck on the farm all by himself. There is no house phone and my brother is lucky to have minutes on his prepaid phone. If theres actually food in the house its a miracle. I'm only 20 and I am trying to work and go to school so I can't take care of my brother but I'm against a wall. I don't know what to do. Does anybody know if theres something along the lines of AA or a class for people that make HORRIBLE money decisions??? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

Baby, I love you more than I have loved anything in my entire life.

Digg sucks

"why?", you aks?. well just look at the stories. Nintendo Wii is sooo great. Apple iPhone rox0rz everything.
its just boring.

A RESPONSE TO COMMENT #35 ON "A LOOK AT TODAY'S CLAN CRAP"

Some people watch way too much news.
Oh yes, The "News". The government controlled media.
Can we believe everything that we hear and see from these people? I think not. We must remember that organized religion and government use fear as a tool to control their masses. The fear of global warming is being used as a method to create new industries and new ways to tax the general public. Unfortunately global warming is all about money.

Global warming is happening just like it has occurred many times over the earth's history. These cycles of warming and cooling have been brought on by different events such as, mega volcanic explosions and asteroid collisions spewing trillions of tons of ash, micro particles and gases into the atmosphere. We can be sure that, from these events, the ozone layer has been disturbed in the past.

The sad truth is that human impact could very well be, and most probably is, causing the latest cycle of global warming. This cycle is in place and the damage is done. Changes will help but no one in our lifetime will see a change. Mankind is destined to ruin the environment. By the time that all of the second and third world countries get through trashing the environment, as the industrialized nations have, the humans that are left will have to make the best of what remains.

The earth will survive. Mother Earth has her own way of cleansing herself. Maybe when Mother gets tired of the current version of the human race she will consult Father Spirit and decide to put an end to 99.9% of the human race. Then the meek will inherit the earth. I welcome the day when the world is taken away from the idiots who are trying to control it now.

Think about it, this news media everyone wants to believe in also tells us that it is only a matter of when, not if, another giant asteroid collides with the earth or another mega volcano explodes. All one can do is live ones life correctly and hope that you have made the right God given decisions and choices. If so, you and/or your offspring will be the chosen ones.
Live your life well and stay in touch with the source. Teach your children how to live. Be kind to your Mother and believe in the Creator. Those who deserve will be left to carry on.

Peace

A heartfelt entry from,
Master Chef Vapor

Thank You!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered advice for my kidney infection. I had a fever so high the other day that my face started having the same feeling as when you get a sunburn on your face! I just took the Bactrum and hoped for the best and my tongue didn't swell up so thats good....

Well I did it!

I just sold my “summer condominium” in Florida for 2.1 million dollars and with my retirement income from the General Electric Jet Motor Division management job I had for the last forty years, I can now devote the remaining years of my life to Anonybloging.
I’ve also given away my 40 inch wide screen High-def TV to my brother so that I will not have any distractions. Life is wonderful!

MasterChefVapor

MasterChefVapor (pronounced as g-e-n-i-u-s)

Whooooo Hooooo it's Friday Night Baby

Gosh.....you remember Friday nights don't ya? The thrill of being young, thrilled that the whole damn world was in gripped in your hand, possibly in love or even lust, the smell of spring or early summer in the air. Oh God, I remember those days!
Now several years later, I sit here on this blog site, ,mind you this blog site never existed when I felt this way. Anyway I sit here and I can re-live it's very smell, taste, and feel! Whooooo Hoooo it's Friday night baby!
I wrote this post from my heart!

A JOKE FOR ANONYBLOG

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

Why

is someone spamming comments with so much bullshit? All conflicts aside, both Klan and Anti-Klan are usually respectable to Annonyblog. Why has someone come along and upset the delicate balance of the Yin-Yang that we achieve here? Please stop spamming our beloved site and find another way to get attention. Create a persona and annoy people that way, anything but spam. Take Mr. Smart Guy's side and help triangulate the struggle of words. Just quit spamming comments, it is childish.

Thank you,
A Concerned Anonyblogger

Clanners are God's gift to Anonyblog

The below post has been posted by a Clanner. It no valid, has entertainment value, and is an is appropriate use of this site. Please e-mail admin@anonyblog.com and request that these types of posts be continued!

Owwwwww!!!

My side HURTS!!!! I hate my kidney infection!!! I just want to sleep and throw up ALL the time.....I don't care if I ever eat AGAIN I'm soooo sick!! And what makes everything worse is I just started a new job so I can't take off work. I went to the Dr. and she gave me a script for Bactrum but the problem is I'm allergic to a medicine and I don't know the name of it. I took it about a year and a half for the same problem and the Dr. that gave me that script I lost the phone number and I only know the Dr's name, not the clinic she is at. So I could very easily take this Bactrum and have my tongue start swelling up and stuff. Sorry, I just wanted to vent about how sick I am.

MasterChefVapor

MasterChefVapor (pronounced as one word)

Is anyone else baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Yesterday I stroked my penis and went on my quest to discover the meaning of this wonderful experience, which I have now researched and discovered is called an "orgasm". Guys, guess what?! I found out that it is not only I that is able to experience this experience, but all of you can too!! Isn't that amazing? Try it and see! I'm not sure what you can do if you're a girl though, because you don't have winkys, right?

Today, since I have now solved my quest, I'm not too sure what I should do ... Perhaps I shall experiment with stroking other parts of my body ... That's it, today I shall stroke my nose.

Tomorrow I shall document the results of my nose-stroking experiences.

I haven't thought any further than that.

Magogo Warriors episodes (from Lowlife Films) are only downloading at 7 or 8 KodyBears per second. This is far too slow. Sigh.

- A Legitimate Anonyblogger

INDY THE GREAT

My posts are extremely delayed. One should be up soon. They take days to appear.

It's a Miracle!!! (Legitimate Anonymous Blog Update)

Guys, you're never going to believe this, but the most amazing and peculiar thing just happened while I was stroking my winky. Almost out of the blue, I was overcome with the most incredible feeling of bliss, and suddenly, at the height of my ecstacy, this weird white substance came shooting out of my nozzle in about 5 or 6 powerful blasts! I am so overwhelmed right now. Unfortunately, there is now a sticky mess all over the keyboard of my brand new laptop computer for me to clean up.

I now know my quest: To discover the meaning of this bizzarre and strangely satisfying experience. Oddly enough, I now no longer feel the urge to stroke my penis ...

I cannot wait until tomorrow; I must begin Googling immediately!

I love being evil

Soooooo........ I've worked at my new job for a total of 2 weeks now. There's this woman there that is ALREADY driving me insane! On my first day there, she told me off for not putting her time card in the right slot (we dont have assigned slots) because she is only 5' tall and can't reach most other slots. So then like a week ago she started crap with me yet again. She called me when my boss was out of the office to tell me to come to her office. So I get there and she does that thing that women often do where you pretend to say something nice and act like your friend but you know she's doing it to be a bitch. She starts going on about how I should dress more conservativly blah blah blah.....I'm not wearing anything that is revealing but YA I'm young and have a nice body! GET OVER IT!! ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU ARE OLD AND SHRIVELED UP AND NOBODY WANTS YOU!!!!! My clothes that I wear show that I have a figure but no low rise pants, daringly low shirts, or thongs hanging out......what I wear is NOT inappropriate by any means. And you should see the things SHE wears!! My first day there she wore a deep red pleather jacket, same color pleather skirt that went down to her knees, same color pleather boots that came up to her knees, a fluffly leopard print coat and a GIANT hat!!! Also she has very short pumpkin orange hair and wears BRIGHT BLUE eyeshadow and eyeliner. She basically looks like a 70 something year old lady pimp.

So THEN two days ago she calls my office AGAIN. I didn't know it was her and just answered the phone as I would on any other call but accidently messed up the name of the place I'm working at. And it wasn't a big mistake. I said Riverside, I meant Riverfront. Big whoop. But she FREAKS out on me for it and THEN proceeds to freak out on me more for something that I KNOW she was wrong for. My boss and I worked on a problem we were having with the computer for a good five minutes, so when the problem was over and we printed the paper, I KNOW that there were no issues with it. So that's what she called for and thats the OTHER thing she called to bitch me out for. There's more but I can't think of everything right now....I'm just so fed up. And it takes A LOT to push me over the edge.....so now its time to get evil.....MUAH HA HA HA!!!!!

So I told my boss what was going on because me and him are close and he said that she is rude and mean to everyone but he noticed before me that she is worse with other women and ESPECIALLY those younger than her and pretty. So I plan to use this to my advantage. For Valentines day, I'm having this guy I'm talking to send me roses to my work with a romantic message signed by "your secret admirer". So that will get to her because nobody is going to get her anything. I was thinking of maybe sending her some black roses but then decided I'd rather not spend my money. Also, I know this isn't that much, but today I purposly put her time card in the VERY TOP slot so I could watch her jump for it!! This is sooooo much fun!!!!! Any ideas let me know!!

Mr. Smart Guy says...

Time to chime in! For the past few days I have watched this entertaining yet pitiful war of the words go down between the Clan and the Anti-Clan. Really, I have found their banter rather humorous. However, lately I have found it more annoying then anything else! No, I will not chose sides as both have been, in my eyes, equally juvenile. I will however, pick on Vapor as he seems to always want to engage me in debate. Granted, for those of you who know me, Vapor is wet mud and I nothing but his mold. Vapor, to you I say, "do not engage me in debate" as I am to you what the glistening barbed end of the Stingray's tail was to Australia's favorite son Steve Irwin.
Now, that being said I shall move forward.
This debate needs to stop! Original Anonyblog Blogger (OAB) as I will call you, I understand your point. Yes, your time here pre-dates mine yet does that mean I too am not welcome? Clanners ( a term I use because I know not how to address you), I also understand your position.
The reason this debate needs to cease is that this site is becoming entangled into a complicated and warped discussion between two opposing groups that are oblivious to what this web site is truly about, anonymous freedom of written expression. OAB I know you hate the daily posts of the Bear, Vapor, and Indy. Clanners, I also know you hate the daily diatribes of OAB. So this is what you have in common, your passionate dislike for each other. So why not agree to disagree? This is the best solution because no matter how hard OAB tries the Clanners will not leave just because OAB want's them to go. Clanners you also need to know that OAB will not be leaving as he/she is obviously here to stay as evident by his/her time here. So what you have is a standoff! There is no winner, so go back to your corners and learn to live with one another.

Today's Legit Anonymous Blog Entry

Yesterday I posted my last blog entry

Today I intend to stroke my cock all day. (Maybe I'll post again to let everyone know how that went, ok?)

Tomorrow I shall go off on a quest of some kind, but I've yet to decide what exactly.

I haven't thought any further into the future.

Hey you guys, I just had an epiphany, you know on Limewire where it says Speed and then underneath where it says like a number and KB/s, eg 25KB/s, well that doesn't mean 25 KiloBytes per second, it means twenty five KodyBears per second!!!

Clanners! It's my turn to ask now?

1. Why this site? Why not go off and trash a different site.
2. Why are all of your posts so incredibly stupid and filthy?
3. Vapor, could you possible come up with an original recipe?
4. Indy, why always the fecal matter eating and turd sniffing?
5. Indy, why always girls? The term "girls" indicates juveniles. Tell us about your past Indy and what you are hiding?
6. Kodybear, why always stuffed animal stories? Why always stories revolving around Indy?
7. Why were you kicked off of "Ask Guan"?
8. What part of real blogging don't you get?
9. Why stay where you are not welcomed?
10. Vapor, whay are you such a sexist pig and anti-troop oriented?
11. Mr Ig, You did know keybpoards type and don't just cut and paste, right?
12. Other Long term Anonyblogger, tell me about Zwen?

Sheep Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Yesterday I wrote a post.

Today I'm writing this post.

Tomorrow I shall stroke my penis all day long.

I haven't thought about what I'm going to do next.

Note: This post, though it is pointless and irrelevant to YOU, is still an anonymous blog post, made by an anonymous writer at this anonymous site. Therefore it is a valid and legitimate post. Annoying, isn't it?

Ms. N

I think Ms. N kicks ass. I would follow her to mexico anyday. Even if I had to pick oranges. But apparantly you don't pick oranges in Mexico, only Florida. Mexico sounds good anyways just because it would be nice to get away from everything in everyday life. Anyways back to Ms. N kicking ass...... she told me I would look like a stripper if I were in shape......hmmmm........not that i'm THAT out of shape, but I miss working out. Ms. N would look like a pretty ballet dancer if she were in shape. But as it is shes just pretty.

The Clans Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Look at the Clan post below. Do you have to even ask why they are being pressured to leave this site! They are the most troubled, belligerent waste of flesh piles I have ever seen! Get out of here you pieces of crap!

Lindsey's BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

There have been a few people that have suggested that I tucked my tail between my legs and ran. Well, I have not. I never run nor give up.

I really don't understand the clan, and I don't want to at all. I'm just concerned about some things that they happen to post on this blog. How would you feel if your underage children ran across some of their disgusting pics?

Anyway... I'm up for a good fight. Anyone with me? We still have that spring cleaning to do.

Oh, and Vapor - You need to get creative. Attacking me based on a 4 year old picture isn't going to get you anywhere. You don't know me and will never be able to understand my life and lifestyle.

As for stooping to your level, I just won't. I'm not a hack who has to copy recipes out of some second rate cookbook. At least I can think for myself and have something to say. You've got nothing.

Miss Lindsey

The answer to why?

I have been asked why? Specifically the question is; “Why you don't take your crusade to a venue where you can make a real difference in the world?”
I was here at Anonyblog long before any Clanner ever arrived. This is the venue I want to defend. There is no cleaning up of the supermarket checkout isles, Cable TV programs, and even daytime TV programs. However, that is not the problem; the problem is the destruction of this site. You see the Clan are the newest members here at Anonyblog. I have no problem with Supermarket checkout isles, Cable TV programs, or daytime TV programs because I don’t pay attention to those things. I pay attention to this site and the Clan is destroying it and I want to know why they are so intent on demolishing this site. Since the Clans invasion, true anonymous posts have been few and far between. I’m sure you, whoever you are, cannot relate as you are probably either a Clan member or so new to the site you have no idea to its history. I can guarantee there is no Clan member who knows this sites history. They just simply migrated to this site because it was far less populated then the site they left behind. The site they left behind was “Ask Guan”. Do a search on it and read some of the Clans earliest crap. Their exit from AskGuan I’m sure was quite welcome as after every post they made they would receive a glaring and ugly rebuttal from other posters about the posts subject. That used to happen here until they pushed everyone away! How did they do it? By posting Kody story after Kody story followed by Indy story after Indy story. Then when things start to mellow they would post that disgusting image. Now when confronted with these things they out right lie. That’s the type of people the Clan is and they are not welcome here.

Why isn’t Admin doing something? Because we are talking about the antics of 3 or 4 individuals and he simply does not have the time to chase them down. He does not advocate their posts as they would have you believe and in fact he uses the term troublesome when referring to them. Yes, Clan you are troublesome and that is why you need to go!

*****BREAKING NEWS*****

Breaking News was denied the opportunity to board the Kody Sub but was granted an interview via satellite phone with his Esteemed Excellency Eminence Excellency kody R Bear.

Your Excellency your popularity seems to be on the rise again. What steps if any are you taking to advance your Internet presence?

Well first I have had my new Kangaroo assistant Dooky set up a page at livejournal.com. After reading Miss Russell's positive review of that site I thought I had better get right over there and set up shop. In addition I have set up a new address to receive hate mail. The address is:

ihatekodybear@gmail.com

Don't miss print that.

Of course not your Eminence. Indy the Great seems to have the military (pronounced mil-li-tree) advantage over you again. How do you intend to deal with this situation?

You can surely understand that I am not at liberty to discuss that. All that I can reveal is that strategies are in the planning stages. Steps will be taken.

Understandable Your Radiant Lordship. There has been a rumor that yourself and Sir Magogo will be taking a holiday in Europe in the near future.

Oh Yes! That's true. We will be in and around Paris for a few weeks and I've promised Sir Magogo some time in Amsterdam to feed his many addictions and mine as well. We also plan to visit the Arch de Triomphe. I'm hoping to capture one of the undead skeleta minia for interrogation purposes.

Your Excellency you have come under attack as of late for your criticism of the Associated Content writer Miss Lindsey Russell. What is your official position?

Well that's a delicate situation. After a thorough review of her work I have come to the conclusion that I like her very much. I must admit that I'm a little disappointed in her taste in movies but anyone who is a Beatles fan gets a big Fuckin-A in my BearBook. Those who take the innocent stories that my staff writers compose seriously need to get a grip on reality. You see it's all just fiction.

Of course your Benevolence. May we contact you regarding future interviews?

You may contact Dooky. Use my Ihatekodybear@gmail.com and he will respond.

Absolutely your Eminence.

I Hate My Life 2

I know, I know, everyone is a sorry-sack who hates their life. I know its self indulgent to wallow in self pity. I know these things yet everyday I wake up feeling heavy and lifeless. I hate my job. But I had such high hopes for it. It was going to be more money, better experience and the chance to spend some time in a new city. Only my boss is very near a complete mental breakdown. He is mean, obsessive and manipulative. So things are not going well. And this week it all hit home because now I am turning 30 all alone in a new city. I have nice co-workers but they are also wrapped up in the insaneness that is our job and really don't seem to care about my birthday. i miss my friends. Did I mention I will be 30 and I still live in my parents home, with no boyfriend and, obviously no career. How did this happen? How did I manage to f*** my life up so bad? I am so lonely right now. My apartment is our office as well. So lately I have been randomly bursting into tears, only I have no privacy, so all my co-workers probably think I am an emotional wreck. I'm sorry, i'm a girl, I cry. Sometimes at work. ugh. When will all this end?

TODAY'S RECIPE

Knuckleheads On A Stick

What You Will Need:

Several Knuckleheads
Sticks
Bonfire

Let's get started
Procure several Knuckleheads. Knuckleheads can be found at Anonyblog. There you can hunt them down with ease. These Knuckleheads are camouflaged but not very well. They can be baited and drawn out of cover on a daily basis. With basic hunting technique they can be harvested.

Once you have harvested the desired number of Knuckleheads impale your Knuckleheads on sticks. Only one Knucklehead per stick. Impale Knuckleheads by ramming the stick through the anal cavity and out of the mouth opening.

Start a good sized bonfire.
Invite all of your internet Troll friends over
All can enjoy Knuckleheads On A Stick

This recipe is brought to you by

Master Chef Vapor

Some history...

What will the Clan brighten our world with today? Lets see could it be more insane drivel about toy bears and monkeys on a pornographic crusade or will Indy write yet another tired old story about fecal eating? Not to be out done Vapor may scan the internet for yet another recipe he can claim as his own. Perhaps Mr. Ig will grace us with a cut and paste post as he always does.

The good old reliable Clan is destroying this site day after data after day. I have been asked why I continue to bring this to point on a daily basis. The answer is quite simply history. I have been posting on this site since its launch and at one time there were an incredible amount of posts that provided really good reading and were heartfelt in nature. Then one day Vapor shows up on the scene to make a post about vibrating razors and shaving women’s pubic hair. Then Kody shows up and begins posting his annoying crap and from then on this site started slipping rapidly. Go ahead and read the archives and you will soon see what I’m talking about.

The Clan has destroyed this site. Gone are the legitimate posts where people would pour out their hearts about a wide variety of things. All replaced by perverted stories about poop eaters, stuffed animals, and plagiarized recipes.

Ever wonder why we, the few real Anonybloggers left, allowed this to happen? I know you are out there and I ask you to rally along side of me and make the Clan understand what this site is about, blogging from the heart.

The ANSWER

The anti-Klan keep asking why the Kody Klan keep posting their krap here at Anonyblog…BECAUSE IT IS

FUN

Other wise they would not bother to post!

Who keeps posting the Veronica Moser picture………KONSIDER IT MIGHT HE

ADMIN

Because he likes to keep the banter going here - due to - if there where no banter between the Anti-Klan and Kody Klan then there would be nothing posted.

There is one and only one person who keeps Komplaining about the Klan and then he/she komments in his/her posts to make it appear that there is more than one Komplainer.WHY……

Because he/she is jealous of the kreativity of the Klan.

As you go about your day today…remember both Jesus Khrist and Kody R. Bear love you.

VENTING venting venting venting venting

She really does think her shit don't stink!!! She really thinks she was the best mother in the whole wide world!! She thinks she's done a great job being his mom and raising him and being there for him!!

WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH: YOUR SHIT STINKS TO HIGH HELL.

Why didn't you ever take him to the doctor for his scoliosis when he was young and covered on his dad's insurance??? Why do you let your new husband beat up on him?? When it came down to either him or your husband, why did you kick your son to the curb, woman?

OHHHHhhhhhh so NOW that he's down, and it's actually not your fault this time, you think you can get on your God damned high horse and point your finger down at me. Who did he have to turn to when you kicked him out? Who was there to listen when he was frustrated? Who went broke, and is still pretty broke, just trying to support the both of us on one part-time income? Certainly not you!! You made sure to tell him you would call back later. Did you ever call back to see if he was okay? Did you even have a CLUE that he was hurting so bad? NO YOU DIDN'T!!! I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS THERE!!!! I WAS THERE 100% OF THE TIME!! YOU ONLY CALLED HIM WHEN YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO YOU!!!

SO FUCK YOU!!

Call me a piece of work. Call me a bitch. Call me anything you can fucking think of. It just rolls right off of me. Because you know what? If he had to pick who he would depend on for the rest of his life, it would be ME bitch!!

You are so fucking clueless. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better, that's fine by me. Blame it ALL on me, right? EXCUSE ME for wanting to be able to live my life without worrying every damn second if he was going to be okay. I think I am entitled to that. I can live my life WITHOUT YOUR ADVICE, so you can shut your damn mouth now.

Don't you dare tell me I can't talk to him. I do believe I am the one that is still paying for his cell phone. There is a reason for that, and that is BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM WHEN I WANT TO TALK TO HIM. And notice how he and I can get along just fine without your nosey ass? GOD DAMN woman!! Who do you really think you are?

You haven't done shit for him. Actually, I take that back. You've done SHIT for him. And that's about it. So don't go telling me what kind of person I am. You can judge me all you want, that's your freedom. But you know what? Keep it to yourself bitch. Nobody wants to hear your whiny old fat ass. If it wasn't for Mr. Well Off Husband, you would still be sitting on your ass begging for tips. And you know what? I don't even think you do have legitimate health problems. You've faked every damn ache and pain for the last 10 years. Yeah, make sure Mr. Well Off keeps you good and comfy at home. Lazy ass bitch. I am busting my ass off trying to make something of myself, trying to assure myself a future. And did you even graduate from high school? Nope. Did you get your associates degree? Nope. Are you on a straight course to graduation? Not even close. So you know what? I think your high horse is more like a fat, flea-ridden donkey, too lazy to even keep from pissing on itself.

You're nothing, you've never been anything, and all you amount to is a pile of shit with an even fouler attitude.

That's it. I'm never, ever going to waste another breath on you. Maybe he and I WILL get back together. Maybe we WILL still get married. But you can bet for damn sure that you will never be my mother-in-law. That will be the only condition, is that you will never, ever call my house. You will never, ever call a cell pone that is owned by me (yes, I already made sure to have the numbers blocked) And you will never, ever see our children. not once. Because I would not want my children growing up thinking that it's okay to voice your opinion about anyone, anytime, whether or not you were even included in the conversation.

In conclusion, fuck you, fuck you very much. It has been a great displeasure knowing you. I hope you have some good insurance on your husband, cuz it's a sure thing that you could never get a job. Who wants a salesclerk that will cuss out the customers??

Furthermore, you have not ever been there for him, so do not tell me whether or not I can be there for him. If he wants me there, I will be there.

And, you are living proof that God has a sense of humor.

Much hate

Me

p.s. to anyone that wants to spell-check this: don't bother, I don't care. I accept this blog as it is, errors and all.

Be human beings.

Not the dregs of society. You would think if we all abided by this simple rule our society, lives, and this site would be substantially better. Unfortunately our society, lives, and this site do not abide by this rule and we have to deal with the daily garbage of those few individuals who want to constantly trash this site. This kind of reminds me of those daily crowded elevator rides with the one annoying butt head that always has to be rude and obnoxious. Funny that saying one bad apple spoils the basket certainly seems appropriate. Look at the demise of this site all brought on by the Clan.

tee hee tee hee

penis, poopy fart, turds, and boobies!!

tee hee hee!

Dr Leon's Fill-In-The-Blank (series 2, #2)

Indy is known to ejaculate _______________ of semen normally.

A) 5 cubic millilitres
B) 15 cubic millilitres
C) 9 ounces
D) 6 tablespoons

The truth behind the the Klan leader kody

What an excuse for a man; hiding behind the facade of a stuffed toy bear! Whoa, a big tough dude you are Kody picking on Lindsey. I wonder Kody, do you also treat your wife or significant other in this manner? Do you abuse her Kody? Does she lay awake at night and tremble because she knows she dare not walk outside her little world that you have set up for fear of another beating? Does this make you feel strong Kody, virile, successful, and thrilled to be a man?

OR

Do you lay awake at night Kody! Acknowledging all you have not accomplished in your paltry pathetic life? Does your wife know your inner most thoughts? You know what I mean, the ones you don’t ever want anyone to know? Things like the fact that you’re a porn freak and write these kreepy stories about physically hurting women? What would she think Kody? Oh you know what she would think and that is why you stay hidden behind your shield of anonymity. Because to be damned by someone you kare for would be horrible. Not to mention the embarrassment you would feel when hung with the moniker pornographer or wife beater. Thank goodness for anonymity Kody, this way your wretched real life kannot enter the make believe realm you rule and stink up the place.

When will you grow some balls and kome out of hiding and go one on one! Kome on loser, it’s only a woman!

A look at todays Clan crap!

Below this post are several Clan posts. Once again and in order of Clan appearance we have:

1. The Pledge of Allegiance, subject "same old same old" (Mr. Ig is back posting his boring and duplicated non creative crap?"
2. INDY THE GREAT, subject "same old same old....again. This is so old it’s not even worth discussing"
3. First Annual Anonyblog Convention "another pointless entry from Vapor. At least it’s not another plagiarized recipe"

Now the question for today is, do any of these entries remotely fit the definition of a blot? The answer....NONE!
I swear you people must be locked up in the same nuthouse because your cup runneth over with some stupid crap!

Once again, the Clan! Pure crap all the time!

poopoo (pronounced as one word)

KODYBEAR

The Kody silently slipped back aboard the Kody Sub.

"Magogo!", he screeched. "You filthy mongrel! Just what do you think your doing with Dooky? Why are you not in front of that laptop? Dooky! Why are you not stomping Magogo's guts out?. Front and center both of you. What's going on here? Spill it out. I've been delivering my rhetoric and oratory for two days straight and I'm exhausted."

Dooky, easily beating the ape to the response said,

"Gidday mate. I was mindin my own affairs when your monkey here tried to bugger me, plain an simple."

"Dooky I've been lenient with you until now because you are new to the Klan. So watch what happens the next time you fail to address me by one of my many titles. As for you Magogo, I'll be the one handling the buggery around here and I swear as I am my own witness that you will feel the full force of my extension if you don't have anything for me."

The Bear deliberately advanced to within an inch of Magogo. The monkey could smell the rotting flesh on his master's breath. He began to shake when he noticed what appeared to be a small piece of lingerie caught on one of the Bear's canines. In one swift motion the Kody unzipped the ape's battery compartment and starting with a growl that carried into in a shriek demanded, "Who and where is Lindsey Russell?"

"The trembling ape hesitated and began to stutter. "Well, see, dey was some problems wiffin de.....an I couldn't....

"Where is she?", bellowed the Kody.

"In Michigan."

"How many web sites does she have?"

"Three O fo Yo Benevolence".

"I want those sites hacked and shut down Magogo. This babbling fundamentalist and her band of fascist goldbrickers are the greatest threat to the free thinking world. If she has her way all of us will be out of a job and a place to live."

"Yes Yo Radiance. It's time fo de Dixie Chicks concert on Austin City Limits now. She done trashed dem in one of her reviews."

"You've got to be shitting me. That's just wrong. Let me tell you something Magogo. Those girls are beautiful, talented and successful. They represent everything this Lindsy person despises. She's just jealous I'm telling you!

"Dey also some evidence dat she have had a personable relationship wid de Arch Nemesis Indy de Great."

"Really? Well, he can't help himself. I'm telling you Magogo he's not particularly particular when it comes to sniffing girlfarts. Now go out and test the ocean water for girl urine."

"I done did dat", Magogo proudly announced. "Dey ain't nay even one part per millionth."

"Excellent. Now as I recall I assigned you to write some pornography did I not? This is a skill you must develop if you expect to pull your weight in this organization. Let's see what you've got. Hmm?"

Magogo handed the KodyBear a print out of his assignment. He sat on the floor nervously picking at his toenails and bunghole while the Bear reviewed his work.

"Your grammar is absolutely atrocious. Hmm. Good. I like that. Spooge Missile? Damn that's funny. Oh my God! You filthy bastard! That is truly disgusting! I'm impressed Magogo but the part involving the Giraffe is a little unrealistic. Pick a smaller animal. A platypus maybe. Now lay in a course for Capetown. There is someone I want to visit there. If he's not there we may have to go to Pretoria."

"Yes Yo Eminence"

"And Magogo?"

"Yes Yo Radiant Benevolence?"

"Put Dooky to some useful task. Get him working on a new web page for me or something. Don't just let him hop all over the sub banging his head on pipes and shit. I'll never get any rest with all that racket going on."

"Yes Yo, uh, Magnificence."

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."

The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glass that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either."

The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one draft, throws the glass into the air, whips out her .45, and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

The Pledge of Allegiance

I Pledge Allegiance to the bear of the Third Planet from the Sun and to the Pugnacity for which he stands for, one Universe under Kody,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose white fur and bright smile thru the perilous fight, o’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And with vile toxins to spare, the pustules bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our bear was still there. Oh, say does Kody R. Bear yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Our Kody, who art in heaven; hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven and hell. Give us this day our daily word; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us into temptation; and deliver us from the anti-Klan. Abear.

Failure, then loss.

–noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected
3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency
4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.
5. a condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency.
6. a becoming insolvent or bankrupt
7. a person or thing that proves unsuccessful: our relationship; me.

Loss –noun
1. detriment, disadvantage, or deprivation from failure to keep, have, or get
2. something that is lost
3. an amount or number lost
4. the state of being deprived of or of being without something that one has had
5. death, or the fact of being dead
6. the accidental or inadvertent losing of something dropped, misplaced, stolen, etc
7. a losing by defeat; failure to win
8. failure to make good use of something, as time; waste.
9. failure to preserve or maintain
10. destruction or ruin: your dreams; your world; your life.

The first thing I notice when considering these two definitions is how related they seem to be. It's like, if you loose something, it's because you failed. (probably) And if you failed, it might have been due to a loss.

I made a choice for myself. So what if it was selfish? I'm the only person here to look out for me, so sometimes I have to make a selfish decision.

Now, I feel the loss. Sure, I've gained a lot, and I'm happy with it, but the loss sure feels really heavy. That's probably due to the failure side of it.

I failed as a friend. What kind of friend would just leave like that? Not a real friend, that's for sure.

Now, since I failed, I have to accept the loss. It's not easy to lose a friend. Not like that, anyways. Why am I responsible for the death of a friend? If I didn't care enough to stay, why should I care enough to save their life?

Sometimes I want to stop everything and just yell "April Fools!!!" "I was just kidding!"
Like maybe it will make you want to live again.
Like maybe it will change the outcome.

I keep hoping you can just forget me, all about me. Just keep going.

You can't keep going, can't go at all, when you're dead.

I'm gonna miss you, anyways...

INDY THE GREAT

I stole a piece of Lindsey Russell's girlfeces (pronounced as one word). She is so fat and ugly (which you can see in her picture) that there was an enormous pile of fat person poopoo (pronounced as one word) to steal from. Well, I dissected it and examined it, and there were bits of corn, chunks of fudge, balls of lard, and little jalapeno peppers in it. It figures. Fat people eat that sort of stuff.

First Annual Anonyblog Convention

I am looking for some highly motivated individuals to get in on the ground floor of this event.
With the correct planning we could have this off of the ground by fall.
I'm thinking Key West?
Let me hear some feedback.

Master Chef Vapor

This site needs more traffic!

We need to advertise, ladies and gents. The more blinkered, opinionated, self-righteous, pseudo-intellectual bigots, spewing forth their ill-conceived sophisms that we can attract, the better! Reading the utter shit that people merrily type on this site and especially the reactions to it is just unbeatable for sheer entertainment value! Keep it coming!!

What a lot of people in this world (especially those with their noses in the air) don't seem to realise, until they fall hard in the mud, is that the dirt ... is dirty.

Please someone explain to me why....

the Clan constantly justifies its disgusting posts. Why do they think it's alright to write and flood the board with stories of fictitious bears, fecal matter eating people, plagiarized recipes, and disgusting images? Why do they always do at Anonyblog what they would never do in society? What drives them to use this site as their personal toilet paper for the rest of us to read?
What makes them threaten individuals who disagree with them (Lindsey)?
What kind of people are th