Anonyblog

ABOMINABLE SNOWBEAR!!!!!

RAAWWWRRRR I JUST LOST LIKE 3 PAGES OF TYPING BECAUSE THE FUCKING INTERNET WAS DOWN AND MY COMPUTER LIED TO ME ABOUT IT SO I HAD NO IDEA AND HITTING REFRESH MADE IT ALL GO POOF AND BYE. I FUCKING HATE HATE HATE (lack of someone to blame for this) FOR THIS!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

N

Anonyblog officially sucks

Not because of the Klan or the Anti-Klan or Vapor or whatever, but because we have to wait like for fucking ever for our posts to appear.

And now the comments are broken too (awaiting approval, or whatever). Do you really think admin bothers to read EVERYTHING that passes through this site? I don't think so.

No wonder traffic is grinding to a halt on this site.

My 2c worth: Ditch crappy Movable Type and get a decent php forum (or program one yourself - it's not that hard you know).

No doubt this will get deleted or something before it makes it to the board in a few days time. Ah well.

****BREAKING NEWS!****

KODY R BEAR TO HEAD EXPLORATION OF PARIS CATACOMBS!

Breaking News reporters found the Bear in a brothel on the outskirts of Paris and were granted a rare Interview.

Your Excellency you look exhausted. Are you feeling O.K.?

I'm stressed. Can't you see that? Don't you see what's happening? Indy the Great has returned to power. The Arch de Triomphe is surrounded by trillions of GirlTurd Warriors ready to unleash their stench upon the world! I can here their squishy foot steps in my sleep! Yick!

But Your Eminence we were just there today. Everything is normal! Everything is as it should be.

No! No! No!You fools! Only myself,Dooky and Magogo can see them! You think I'm quite mad don't you? Yess? Humm? I'm telling you I'm not crazy! I have nightmares about being shot to death. I wake up and my fur is wet and brown and sticking to the sheets and it feels like there are peanuts in my mouth! Then I vomit. What? You look as though you think I'm making all of this up! You wouldn't happen to have any Valium would you? I'm telling you as soon as I have a look at the Catacombs I'm getting out of this city for a while and I advise you to do the same. Magogo has expressed an interest in prostituting himself in Amsterdam and I promised him that I would see that he has a proper booth to work out of.

Really Your Eminence. It is widely known that Indy the Great has been lost in space after his foiled attempt at uriniting on the Earth.

Oh Yeah? Well just how do you explain those big red signs all over the city? What have you got to say about that Mister smarty pants reporter? Don't tell me you can't see them. They are everywhere. I'll tell you another thing as.........

Your Excellency! Your Radiance! Angelique is ready for you now!

"Oh! Thank God!

I NEED......

SEX!!! Its rediculous. If you don't count the last guy I was with (which I don't because he was asain and had a penis the size of a baby carrot IF HE WAS LUCKY) then I haven't had sex in 7 months. Even if you do count the asain guy, its still been almost 5 months. And you know at first it sucks because you're used to having sex, but then it gets better and you pretty much don't care. But I'm past the point of not caring to the point where its no longer a want, its a necessity. And of course the only person on the face of this earth that can give it to me like I NEED is in FREAKING ALASKA!!! Plus he recently got married to psycho bitch so thats not really an option. I need to find me another really hot black guy. I'm white (Italian-Irish) but I really don't think that when it comes to sex that any other nationality can throw down like the black guys.

Man, I remember when I was with Brandon EVERY TIME I could feel him pushing even above my belly button inside me. Freaking amazing. Sometimes I would wonder if he was actually human, not some sex robot. He would finish and still keep going for hours more.

Now the thing that REALLY sucks, is that I'm actually looking for a relationship. Damn. Thats contradictiary. (sp?) Because part of me is just like "JUST FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW!!!!" and then the other part of me is like "I need to be a lady. I will not give it up on the first few dates. I want him to respect me." I just need another booty call guy so that I'm not like foaming at the mouth when I do find somebody worth having a relationship with. Of course once I were to find Mr. Relationship, I would break it off w/ Mr. Bootycall. But honestly, its actually really hard to find either one. I mean, I'm sure theres TONS of gus that would be willing to be a booty call, but how many are good enough?? I'm picky. He needs to be HOT. If I'm just going to be fucking his brains out, he needs to be georgous. When it comes to relationships I'm less about the looks, because I'm more focused on the personality. So ya, Mr. Bootycall needs to be HOT and he needs to be HUGE and know how to work his shit. I don't wanna play with these guys who THINK they know what they're doing anymore. Fuck them. I know I'm amazing, Brandon taught me. All I'm asking for is somebody who can keep up. Why is that so fucking hard???!

Someone who knows what she's talking about

I didn't write it, so I'm posting the link below. It's written by a United States Marine, and it's an Anonyblog-worth rant.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/309485032.html

MESSAGE FROM INDY TO KODY

Nuckin' Futs

Aging Aunt Mildred a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent
over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill
herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out
his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart
since it was badly broken anyway.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden
to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the
heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
wound to her knee.

AN AMERICAN BEAR IN PARIS

His Esteemed Excellency Kody R Bear accompanied by his two vile and disgusting companions, Magogo and Dooky, proceeded to the top of the Eiffel Tower to take reconnaissance of the city. On the way up Dooky became involved in an argument with a young French lady who was distributing Anti-Klan propaganda relating to His Excellency's arrival in Paris.

"Look here Sheila who's side you on anyway? His Nibs here is trying to help you get rid of this Larrikin Indy and all you can do is spout a load of piffle. You'll soon shove off if ya know whats best for ya!", said the now highly agitated Roo.

"Good Lord Magogo.", said the Bear rolling his eyes. "Belligerent little bastard isn't he? You might want to put a leash on that one. What?"

"He believe in what he doin Yo Eminence.", said Magogo. "An he drunk too"

The girl began to shout at the crowd. Ne pas écouter lui ! Nous devons expell le Klan de notre ville juste !

Dooky immediately squared up and delivered a hard left-right and then a kick in the groin to the noisey beak. "Anyone else care to noise off?", he asked the now subdued crowd. "Very well mates. Carry on."

Once at the observation level The Kody began scanning the city through the public telescopes looking for any sign of Indy the Great. He trained the scope on the Arch de Triomphe and was amazed at what he saw.

"Good God!", he exclaimed. "We must head for the Arch immediately! I think I see one of those skeletal things. He must be there! Quickly! Quickly! To the elevator!

"I real scared Yo Eminence. De MMTF done say he got's an army of livin girlturds an he have done gained complete control of de Arch. Dat skeletal thing might haps just be a trick.", whimpered Magogo.

"You little coward!", shrieked His Excellency. "Get your fat ass on that elevator! We'll know soon enough now won't we?", said the Bear delivering a hard kick to Magogo's battery compartment. "We're just going to recon for now anyway so stay alert!"

"Yassir Yo Radiance."

The Great Debate....

Ok well despite how much I try, there is no way I can stretch my money enough to make rent for June. I barely have enough for May. And I mean barely. I can make May's rent then have $50 for gas to get to my jobs. So I am going to hafto move out. Question is where.

Here are my options:

Move into Mom's house

Pros- No rent, good food, internet, spend time with my little brother who is 6, can help my Mom out

Cons- over crowded, Mom's boyfriend is giant idiot, bedroom is tiny and would have no room for my stuff

-OR-

Move into Dad's house

Pros- Can go horseback riding everyday if I want (which is a HUGE factor for me), large bedroom and plenty of room, hang out with my other little brother who is 17 and is leaving for the Navy after he graduates next year

Cons- BAD history with making bad decisions on my part out there, rent (which is no big deal) Dad is an idiot, sometimes little or no food available, no internet as we live in the middle of nowhere, dangerous place to live for somebody like me

Seriously guys, please help me make my decision here. Thanks.

Love always,

JJ

INDY THE GREAT

INDY THE GREAT sits atop an cient pile of girl-bones (pronounced as one word) in the Parisian catacombs, miles beneath the city. Drilling holes in the ceiling up to the toilets of Parisian teenage girls, he has amassed over 100 trillion megatons of Parisian girls' teenturds (pronounced as one word).

Halifax?

Yes, Lover?

HALIFAX!

Oops. Sorry, um, Master. Yes?

Can you enchant these girlturds (pronounced as one word) and make them into turd-soldiers (pronounced as one word)?

I believe I can, Master. But before I do, I want to give you a present for being just the world's best maniacal perverted dictator!

What? What's this?

Leroy pipes in: He dun got's yous a pet, massah!

A pet? What? I am touched! What did you get me, Halifax?

Well, Lord Indy, seeing as how Kodybear now has a kangaroo, I thought it only fitting that I buy you....a...

A what?

...a...a lactose-intolerant (pronounced as one word) albino lemming!

Ooooh I am delighted! Let me hug him!

Indy hugs the lactose-intolerant (pronounced as one word) albino lemming, and it begins to talk!

Hello, my new master. I am Fellatio the Lemming!

Er, ok.

I am here to serve you. I will attack and kill the enemy's kangaroo, Dooky!

Brilliant! I shall love you and care for you, Fellatio. Now, Halifax, about enchanting those girlturds (pronounced as one word) and making them into an army?

Halifax the Bi-Curious Necromancer and Manservant begins a chant. He waves his magic-wand (pronounced in ancient Latin) and the pile of girlturds (pronounced as one word) begins to move and stir. A terrible, noxious odor spews forth from the Parisian catacombs, instantly killing anyone nearby. The sound of many squishy footsteps are heard all over Paris. Suddenly, an army of over 100 trillion turd-soldiers (pronounced as one word) emerges from the catacombs, carrying Indy triumphantly! Some policiers fire on them, but the bullets are merely absorbed into the soft feces, and they continue unharmed. Anyone or anything in their way is instantly melted by the smell. They carry Indy to the Arc de Triomphe and set up his former throneroom (pronounced as one word). Indy the Great is now Emperor of Paris once again!

TODAY'S RECIPE

Friends

What you will need:
All of your pals back from vacation
Great stories
All of the right people
INDY, KODY, MAGOGO,GPR(the),MR.IG, DRAGONLADY,MISS N and JJ

Without trying to make this a message I would like to say,
Thanks for being my internet freinds.

I love you folks,

Master Chef Vapor

P.S.
I sure am glad Admin did not "Pin you down" and "Limit" our time on Anonyblog.

INDY THE GREAT

Important video world premier for Kodybear:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

I'm dying...

....from this incredible lack of sex in my life. I did'nt realize until today that many of my frustrations can be explained by the lack of sex. I'm not usually the person that can go a week without sex, let alone months. This is getting rediculous. I'ts obviously the reason that I am so incredibly grumpy. Damnit, I need to get laid!

Leaving Cape Town

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear, Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey and Dooky the Boxing-Farting Kangaroo sat were seated in the Air France first class section having just departed Cape Town International Airport in route to Paris.

"Well Now. Isn't this special hey? The three of us finally on a real vacation together. Yess? Humm?, said the Bear. "Youv'e come a long way Dooky."

"Yeah Yo Eminence. It real nice. But see me an Dooky we just wants to have fun. We ain't want dis to be stressful but I knows Yo gwine to be lookin fo Indy de whole time we's there. Yooze fuck up a wet dream Yo benevolence", said the despondent ape.

"Magogo! It is imperative that we locate Indy the Great if possible. We will start at the Eiffel Tower and then move on to the Catacombs. If we can find him before he builds an army it may be possible to crush him in his moment of weakness! Is this understood?"

"Yes Yo Radiance"

"Good. Now both of you relax and enjoy the flight."

The Kody sat in his seat and consumed wine an bread paying no attention to the stares of the other passengers directed at his party. After some time had passed he noticed that Magogo had produced and was reading possibly the thickest book he had ever seen. It was bigger than the Websters dictionary found in most public libraries.

"Hey Magogo! What the hell are you reading? War and Peace?", slurred the Bear.

Magogo turned in an attempt to hide the title but the drunken Bear moved quickly and took possession of the book.

"You've got to be shitting me Magogo! What the hells the matter with you anyway? Seven Tips to Organizing Your Socks and underwear by Lindsey Russell? You don't even wear socks or underwear!, screamed His Excellency.

"I'm sorry Yo Benevolence. I just thought it was interesting and stuff bout how she say iffin Yo only buys one color of socks......."

"Silence! Dispose of that trash immediately or suffer the consequences! I'll not have it on my trip Magogo! I'll not have it! You had best get your head and your ass wired together! Understand?

"Yes Yo Eminence"

"You had better. Both of you are free to indulge yourselves on this trip. Anything you want. I don't care how depraved it is or what it cost but the search for Indy the Great comes first! Only through his destruction may we lead normal lives! He must be crushed! Crushed! Crushed!

"Yes Yo Radiance Sir we understand"

I HATE not knowing where I wake up....

Ugh. So I'm visiting one of the best colleges in my state b/c one of my best friends goes here. I have most of my friends living out here so I'm having a blast. Today I'm going to a rodeo with one of my old horse show friends! Yay! I'm so excited! BUT.....I took the train here and she has to come get me. Shouldn't be a problem except I haven't the slightest idea where I'm at. My friend had to go to work and her room mate is gone. If I leave the dorm I'll be locked out. But I miss it here. I'm thinking about maybe going to the Jr. College out here. Granted the other school I'm thinking about is a really good school too, but it would be so much easier to get stuff done out here because I'll already know people. Plus I have some family out here, but no one at the other school. But for now, I gotta figure something out as far as how to figure out where I'm at so she can come get me. Hmmmmmm.........

My Confession

Okay, did a terrible thing while in France with my friends, but it should solve this whole Spring Equinox/Easter thing:

The dinner one of my friends cooked for us on Easter Sunday was...lapin.

We ate the Easter Bunny on Easter Sunday, and it was delicious.

No, it's "Vacation YOUR butt"!

I am pleased to announce that His Esteemed Excellency Kody R. Bear 's staff have returned from their research and reconnaisance mission to France. Both His Excellency and Magogo were observed using the telescopes at the top of the Eiffel Tower to search for their arch enemy Indy the Not-So-Great with no success. This reporter personally observed that the bones in the Parisian catacombs appear to have been undisturbed for centuries; although some bones are missing, it is unlikely that enough bones have been harvested from the catacombs to assemble more than 2 or 3 skeletal minia, one of which was spotted and photographed at the Arch of Triumph on the day before the staff returned to the US. Using the telescopes at the top of the Arch, His Excellency and his staff were once again unable to locate Indy the Not-So-Great.

Further searching

had negative results. There was no sign of Indy in the Normandy, Loire Valley and Burgundy regions of France. Although there were some suspicious sounds heard ouside this reporter's chamber at Chateau Les Muids, it is unlikely that Indy or his helpers were able to obtain the proper code to enter the castle.

It is possible that Indy the Not-So-Great could be hiding in the Louvre, or in the gardens at the Palais de Versailles, if not the palace itself, due to the tremendous size of these sites, but this reporter doubts it. The research team also checked out Fecamp, Etretat, Honfleur, Selles-St.-Denis, Rouen, Binemar, Frequiennes, Pavilly, Barentin, Dijon, Beaune, Nuits-St. Georges, Vosgne-Romanee, Vezelay, and many more cities, towns and villages with no sign of Indy anywhere, not even in the massive Carrefour stores.

Yeah, vacation YOUR butt! We're back, and I am sure that the staff photographer will be posting soon. The Klan is with you.

INDY THE GREAT

Indy the Great sits atop a pile of ancient bones, deep within the bowels of the Parisian catacombs (pronounced as one word). Next to him are Halifax the Bi-Curious Necromancer and Manservant, and Leroy Cleophus Washington the Undead Ghostservant. They are sipping fine Bordeaux, having robbed the Banque Royale de Paris and escaped into their hiding place before les policiers could figure out what had happened. They got away with over one hundred trillion dollars.

Halifax?

Yes, Masterbator?

What? Not the gay thing again! Halifax, I told you, I am straight as an arrow!

Sorry, um, Master. Yes?

Now that we are trillionaires once more, we must amass an army. Do you have any idea what the Kodybear, the Magogo, and the Dooky are planning this time?

My magical-abilities (pronounced as one word) tell me that they are...yes...they are amassing an army of...of...wombats? Hmm...wallabies? Hmm...the vision is not clear, but it is some sort of Australian animal, and it has something to do with farts.

Brilliant!

What you's mean's, massah? asked Cleophus.

Don't you two idiots get it? I am the fartmaster (pronounced as one word)! I am as at home around farts and turds as oxygen! They could fart in my face for hours and I would do nothing but huff it in and enjoy it! That's like trying to defeat me with girlturds (pronounced as one word). We are immune!

Brilliant, Lover!

Halifax!

Sorry, Master.

Now, what sort of army can we amass?

Massah, I's be's tinkin, dis time, maybe we's should try's an army o' livin girlturds (dat be pronounceses like one word's).

Hmm. An army of Parisian girlturds. And are there enough teenage-girls (pronounced as one word) in Paris for this? Are their diets the sort to produce voluminous turds?

I believe so, responded Halifax. They eat lots of fish and meat and cheese, and those tend to produce hard, giant girlturds (pronounced as one word).

Then we must start collecting. These catacombs (pronounced as one word) run directly under the toilets and sewers of Paris! All we need to do is drill little tunnels to the toilettes of teenage-girls (pronounced as one word), and they will reign shit down upon us!

Brilliant, your Mastership!

Dat be's pretty smarts, masssah.

What can I say? When it comes to shit, I am a genius!

The worst thing I've ever done.

When I was in 5th grade there was this girl in my class, I couldn't stand her. Her Dad was a lawyer and he had commercials on the local channels advertising his service. She liked to sing, and she thought she was so important because she did concerts for her Kiwanis club. One day I wrote her an anonymous letter saying all sorts of cruel things about her, I don't remember it word for word, but it was basically saying how she thought she was so great but she wasn't - ridiculous, mean spirited 5th grade girl crap. I put it in her locker. She was absolutely hysterical when she found it, and the teacher was appalled. She sat the whole class down and gave us a long lecture, and wanted whoever did it to come forward. I was so scared of punishment, the teacher was so angry about it, I never confessed. I pretended to be shocked and comforted the girl instead, like everyone else.

The next year she wasn't in my class. But when I new girl transferred in I thought she seemed really nice and I left a welcome note in her locker, trying to make a new friend. Later I found the note in my own locker, with a response on the back of it, calling me cruel names and saying that there was no way she'd be friends with me. She had shown my note to some of the "popular" girls in class after becoming friends with them, and they all laughed at me and wrote the mean response together.

I suppose I got what I deserved.

I need a new job

My sleep schedule is ALL fucked up! Working the night shift sucks!! Seriously, I work from 7pm-2am. But then I can't get to sleep right when I get home and sometimes can't fall asleep till like 10am!! And then I wake up at like 2pm, which sucks because then my whole day is shot.

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear was relaxing in his suite at the Cape Town Radisson When he received a call from Dr. Warren Westphyn.

"Yesss? Reeeeealy. He's alive? Right. Bye bye now."

He immediately called Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey at Kensington Palace.

"Hello. Dookster speaking mate. What?"

"Dooky is Magogo there?"

"Mate he's got an ass load of fresh batteries and he's downstairs in the casino."

"Dammit! That Monkey doesn't have the brains god gave a turkey. I wonder how much he's lost already. Go get him now! Both of you report to me!

"Sure mate. Right away."

The Bear donned his only vest and put on his favorite BearTurd ball cap and waited, confident in his control over his subordinates. From the hallway outside of his room he heard a loud fart followed by an eruption of laughter from Dooky and Magogo.

"Hey! You two get your asses in here and sit down! If your going to act like children then you will be treated as such!", screamed the KodyBear.

"Hey Yo Eminence check dis sit out! Show em Dookster!", sniggered Magogo.

"Oh yeah. Here ya go mate. Put this on your MySpace page." Then Dooky began to fart. The Kody was amazed at what he was hearing. It sounded like a Harley Davidson. The whole Kangaroo was vibrating to such a degree that he looked like a blur.The Bear could actually see the shock waves rippling down the Kangaroo's skin. A green cloud began to envelope Dooky and he was using his tail to waft the noxious gas in the general direction of the KodyBear. The sound was deafening. The Kody squealed and made a run for the door but the larger Magogo blocked his exit. The smell of rotting vegetation and half digested Fosters beer overcame His Excellency and he became disoriented. Magogo was jumping up and down farting and yelling obscenities as well. The whole room was spinning. He was overcome with nausea and began to vomit the blueberry pancakes that he had eaten for breakfast.

"Good Lord! Please stop him!", he cried, wiping the bile off of his Bear chin and rubbing his eyes.

"Hey Dooky. I'd cut that shit out if I wuz you.", said Magogo calmly but forcefully.

"Look both of you stop it! I've just received a call from Dr. Westphal informing me that Indy the Great and Halifax the Bi-Curious Necromancer thing have survived and are back on planet Earth, possibly in the Catacombs of Paris. Furthermore they plan a military escalation and have our destruction as their ultimate goal! It is my intention to build an army of.......

"Macarena Monkeys!", interjected Magogo excitedly. "I cans sees to it fo you Yo Excelle..........

"Silence! You overgrown oaf! What good has that done us before? I'm thinking more on the line of an army of boxing Kangaroos. Yes? Hmm? Dooky?"

"Well mate. Hows bout an army of boxing-farting Kangaroos?", said the Kangaroo.

"You can do that?", asked the Kody incredulously. "They will all be able to fart like you?"

"Much better than me Your Benevolence. Full grown Roos. I'm still a Joey mate"

"Dooky who is your immediate supervisor?"

"Magogo Your Excellency"

"Oh yes. What was I thinking. There's only three of us. Magogo!", bellowed the Bear.

"Yes Yo Eminence"

"Your fired! From now on Dooky is YOUR supervisor! As soon as we return from Paris I want you to book us passage to Australia. Don't look so glum my boy. You can still command the MMTF and I want you to work closely with Dr. Wesphyn on hardware development.",commanded the Kody. I need you to work with me this time. No more cable smoking. Executive ability! Executive ability! That's what I want from both of you!", bristled the Bear.

"Yes Yo Radiance. Yo can count on us!"

blog blog

Penises and feces, penises and feces, penises and feces!

Just trying to get a conversation going, you know?

Penises and feces, penises and feces!!!

TODAYS RECIPE

Chef Vapors Porcupine Meatballs w/Gravy

What you will need:
1 lb. Lean Ground Beef
½ cup fine diced onion
½ cup fine diced red or green bell pepper
2 tspn minced garlic
¼ cup bread crumbs
1 large egg
1 box of beef Rice-a-Roni
1 envelope of Lipton Golden Onion soup mix

Start by placing the onion soup mix in a one quart container and add three cups of water. Stir well and set aside.
In a large mixing bowl add egg and beat well.
Next add all other ingredients including Rice-a-Roni and flavor packet. Using your hands mix well until all ingredients are evenly incorporated.
This mixture will make twenty to twenty-five 1 ½ inch meat balls.
Pre-heat a large sauté pan or cast iron skillet; add two tblspn oil and lightly brown meatballs evenly.
While meatballs are browning take a Dutch Oven or other sauce pot and place onion soup mix in it. As meatballs finish browning put them in the liquid in the Dutch Oven making sure liquid covers meatballs. If the liquid does not cover the meatballs add water.
Once all meatballs are in the pot cover and heat to a simmer. Simmer for one hour.
After one hour remove meatballs and thicken the broth that remains using a cornstarch slurry.
Place meatballs back in the gravy.
They are now ready to serve.

Vapors kitchen tip:
A slurry can be made of flour or cornstarch by adding ¼ cup COLD water to one tablespoon of flour or cornstarch. For this recipe you may need to use two or three tablespoons of flour or cornstarch to reach the desired thickness. Make sure your gravy covers the meatballs when you place them back in the pot.
Serve this dish like you would Salisbury Steak, with rice or mashed potatoes and your favorite veggie.

Enjoy!

Master Chef Vapor

You Fucking Imbecile

"Admin has pinned your friends down. Vacation my butt! Your time is quite limited here at anonyblog Mr Vapor. Admin does not take your pornographic posts lightly! You simply choose to ignore Admins rules."

I have been told for over a year know that my time is limited here at Anonyblog. I think this person's brain is limited.
My pals are in France on vacation. I sure will be glad when they get back. I miss Kody and Magogo. It has been quite lonely around here without them. I guess the "Anti-Klanners" think Admin has banned them. What a hoot. You just wait, they will be back in all their glory soon.

Master Chef Vapor

Stuff you are just dying to know about me

THE MISSION: GET THROUGH THIS MASSIVE QUIZ TRUTHFULLY.

Time Started: 10:39 am

Name: Ezekial the Poet

Gender: Neuter

1) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in, then start the water?
I bath ... and I usually run the water first. Though sometimes I forget and just sit in the fucker, bone dry ... I find I don't get very clean when that happens, however.

2) Do you read the labels on the shampoo bottle?
No, I never wash my hair, and have never seen a shampoo bottle in my life.

3) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essences commerials?
Uh? Oooh! No, I don't do that.

[4) What happened to question 4?!]

5) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
I told you, I bath! (Yes, I've bathed with my sister)

6) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
No, sigh, we've been here before, I don't shower, I BATH! (I don't ever brush my teeth either)

7) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
It's kind of hard to drop soap on one's foot when one is sitting in the bath ... I'll try next time for you, so I can say yes at least to one more question.

8) How old do you look?
About 4.

9) How old do you act?
About 4.

10) What's the last song you heard/sang?
That would be 4'33" by John Cage ...

11) Have you recently become a member of anything?
No, but I hope that my member will be coming soon ... Ahaha, ahahahahahaha! Sorry, that was crass. Never mind. It won't anyway, for I am, sadly, neuter.

12) What are your plans for the weekend?
Now that's a better question. I intend to go out shopping for a new shower.

13) What is your mood at the moment?
Mild irritation ... at these silly questions which don't ever seem to END!

14) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
Does a mechanical girl count?

15) Do you ever intentionally vomit after drinking?
How very silly. Vomiting is an entirely involuntary reaction ... (to sticking one's finger down one's throat for example) ...

16) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most
What would I most? ... What would I most what? Or do you mean "what wood'd your mast be made out of?" Probably pine ... Or "would you be moist?" Yes, I think you could get quite wet (in a non-sexual way, of course) working on a pirate ship ... particulary during a fierce storm.

17) Have you ever called anyone a slut?
Never! A word of advice: Don't call your ho rude names. The bitch would not like it.

18) Has anyone ever called you a slut?
Yes, but then the culprit realised I was just dressed in women's clothing at the time and she took it back ... the silly cunt.

19) Have you ever smuggled something into Canada?
Only the odd Canadian.

20) Does playing a guitar make someone more attractive?
I wouldn't know. I've tried playing my guitar in front of a few butt-ugly bitches before, and it did nothing to improve their appearance, sadly.

21) Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
No, I live in the country ... and the only good sports teams out here hang out down at the local bar ... they are quite sporty I suppose ... sometimes.

22) Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Uh, no, I have never varnished any popcorn. Why the fuck would you want to do that?

23) Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
Now that would be stupid. Firstly I don't like fruit all that much, and secondly, why would I want to hang out with a date? ... Or a prune ... Or a tomato, for that matter. These questions are getting far too silly now.

24) What's your favorite super-hero?
That would have to be me ... (I don't know any other super-hero's) ... My power is not all that useful however: My nose explodes from time to time ... I find that shaking pepper under it seems to trigger it.

25) Do you have more enemies or more friends?
Than whom? You have to be more specific than that, please.

26) Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
Does this post count?

27) Can you fix your own car?
Technically I can't call my car my own. I can't drive it you see ... I'm only 4.

29) Are you smarter than your friends?
Of course, you fuckin' idiots. I are being the cleverest!

30) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
Only their virginities ... but I gave them back, so all is well.

31) Have you ever been to jail?
I am writing this from my cell!

32) Last thing you bought over 50 dollars?
OK, that's a bit weird because actually I did buy something just the other day and there was $50 lying on the counter. I bought some chewing gum over it, then I stole it when the guy behind the counter wasn't looking.

33) Do you like the smell of beer?
Only on the breath of the sluts that hang out at the local bar down the road.

34) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
Alas, I have insomnia. I don't sleep.

35) Have you ever given to charity?
No, only the SPCA and shit like that.

36) Would you kill a dog for $1000?
$1000? That's quite a valuable dog. No, of course I wouldn't want to kill it. I'd rather sell it (perhaps to the SPCA) and haggle the price up as much as I can instead.

37) Do you ever get depressed?
No, I get denewspaper from depress! Ahaha, ahahahahahaha. Just my little joke ...

38) Do you live with your parents?
Yes, because I am still only 4, remember?

39) Do you have plans for your future?
I only make plans for my past because that way I can always know that they have been realised.

Is that it? Thank god.

Incredible

I have an 11 inch man gland. This baby is so big it should be registered as a lethal weapon among women. My girth is 1 3/4"! Yes, I'm pleased I'm this well established. The other night I was at Vapors house and I showed his girl friend my man stick. She was flabbergasted and asked to see it hard. Obviously, I could not do that and keep my hombre Vapor as an amigo so I opted out. I figured though if she did see it in all it's enhanced glory. That I might be able to see her heart shaved pussy Vapor is so happy about! No, probably not. Hell, every time I take a leak next to Vapor in a mens room he says he always gets a craving for zucchini!
I just wanted you all to know that having a love rocket like I got is sometimes just too much!

Taint Right

Why does the radio talk show host get fired for being racist and nothing happens to the "Rap Artists" get away with similar racist comments and comments about killing cops and other people?

There needs to be some equity in these issues but there just does not seem to be. I guess as long as you are what is considered to be a minority you have the right to do things that no one else is allowed to get away with.

No matter how you look at it, some people can just about get away with murder.

The Good Things in Life

I have realized that I bitch wayyyy too much sometimes. So instead I am going to write about the good things.

I have a wonderful family. My mom is always supportive of me. My dad always tries to help me, even when he is worse off than me. My little brother and I are very close. My other little brother who just turned 6 makes me smile constantly. I have some of the best friends in the world! My best friend (N) is always there for me no matter what. We have known each other my whole life (she is 9 months older) and she knows me better than I know myself. Even though I do have a lot of health issues, I am alive. I am young and am taking care of myself. Barely, but I am doing it. That is a lot more than a lot of people my age can say. After I graduated High School I took a couple years off to work, but now I'm going to a great school come fall to go into horse breeding and training. I am so excited that I can do that! It is my life's dream. My landlord is amazing! She helps me out a LOT and I adore her. She is also a chiropractor which is very nice! I LOVE animals, always have. My parents divorced when I was about 6, but it worked out well for me because that just meant I had 2 homes I could keep all my pets! Currently at my mom's farm I have 3 St. Bernards (Annie, Ruby and Apollo) and two cats (Taz and Alley). At my dad's farm I have 2 Rottweilers (Torque and Lexi) and my cat Eva. My dad is losing his farm, but I have found GREAT homes for Torque, Lexi and Eva; all of which are going to homes of friends that I can come see when ever I want. So as much as I like to bitch, I do have some great things going for me.

Good Old Fasioned Bitch Session

Well first off theres the physical things. For example, I stand for 7 or 8 hours straight at my work but have a bad back. Scoliosis, Degenerative Disk Disease, 4 fused disks, a problem with my Sciatic Nerve, just to name a few.... I want to lose weight but it is really not a good idea to join a gym right now because I will be moving come August so a contract at a gym would be dumb. Money issues.....hmmmm where do I even begin on that?! Well lets see, my father is having his farm repossesed so he has to find a house to rent. Meaning we have to find homes for all my pets. Not exactly an easy task. And this job I have now is not making enough money to hold me afloat, I really need more of a full time job, but since I'm leaving in 4 months nobody wants to hire me for anything that pays decent. Thank god for my tax returns. At least I have enough to cover rent this month... Then theres the medical bills. I was working for Cingular before I moved out here and had AMAZING health insurance. I paid $7 a MONTH with no co-pay and they covered everything including back massages! But now I have no health insurance so my health is deteriorating and I only go to the doctor if it is absolutly necessary. Well even the necessary doctor visits cost a fortune. I hate healthcare. So I'm up to my ears in doctor's bills and then I got a phone call from my old bank. I still have that account open but I never use it. I had called there a few weeks ago to see how much money was in my account and they said I had about $20. So I figured I would grab some Taco Johns and use some of that. Well then I got a letter from my old bank saying I was about $100 overdrawn! There was this company that I paid for their service for ONE MONTH to help me get a lawyer. Well they decided to keep billing me on a monthly basis instead of the one month that I signed up for. So they took $50 out of my account before the Taco Johns. So that bounced with a $25 fee. Then there was the $10 from Taco Johns and THAT $25 fee! So I called the stupid place that was charging me and bitched them out, but they said that since I had the service available to me that I wasn't going to get refunded, reguardless if I shouldn't of had the service in the first place! So now I have this whole big run around trying to get out of this bullshit. Sorry, I just needed to vent. I know what is going on with me is nothing compared to what some people go through, but this is what I needed to get off my chest.

Vapor wants to Know

There seems to be some new visitors here at Anonyblog who claim to be females.
That being said I would like to restate a question that I asked some time ago on Anonyblog.
This survey got a lot of comments before and I hope that it will this time also.

Ladies, Vapor wants to know if you shave your pussy. If you do to what degree?

Dreading the Wedding

There's this wedding that I must to go to. I have no option in this matter. However, I REALLY do NOT want to go. My ex is going to be there with his new girlfriend. I have not seen him since before he broke up with me, since he did not have the balls to do it to my face. So now, he is going to be there with his whole family, his friends and his girlfriend. I am going to be there with my mom, her boyfriend and little brother. Ugh! Not exactly the moral support I am going to need. God knows I'll want to make a bee line for the open bar once I get there, but I really don't think that would be a good idea given the circumstances. So now I'm wondering what are the rules as far as interaction between David (ex in question) and myself. Do I ignore him completely? Do I say hi and thats it?? Should I make small talk???

Grr...

How can it be me who always ruins everyone elses day... Yet they "can't" ruin my day.

And oh... Who enjoys it when someone else walks away from you in the middle of a conversation simply because they can't handle it.

Secret

A Way

So, there you go. On and on again. Why do you stand there in pain?
Going on and on again.

Is the lizard not nice to you? Did the zebra miss your mark? Do you have to go on so?

Its raining now and all you can do is be a cow and go on and on again.

happily ever after.

I've been searching for my Happily Ever After.

I don't know whether I've ever had it.
I don't know whether I've ever seen it.

I don't know what it looks like.
I don't know what it feels like.

But I know I want it.
And I know I need it.

Can you help me find it?

INDY THE GREAT

Has anyone ever circumspectly observed a beautiful, 18-year-old-girl's (pronounced as one word) poopyhole (pronounced as one word) as she commanded it to release a big feces-turd (pronounced as one word)?

My ghost is starting to REALLY piss me off!

When I first moved into my apartment it came with some furniture. Theres a tan leather couch, a super comfy loveseat and this uncomfortable arm chair. The arm chair looks like some old man died in it and I had a really bad feeling about it so I avoid sitting in that chair as much as possible. After I was living here for a little while strange things started happening. (I live alone so none of this could be a prank from somebody or anything of the like) Like if I'm taking a nap, when I wake up every cabinet in my kitchen including the one thats hard to open will all be wide open, the towels that are hanging from handles and sitting on the counter etc. will all be on the floor. One time I had just woken up and all of a sudden there was a HUGE crash from my bathroom. I went to see what happened and every bottle in my shower that usually sits on the ledge was inside the tub. Even the bottles inside the shower rack that have a little fence around the sides to prevent from stuff falling out, had fallen out. And the "C" for the cold faucet had shot across the tub and was on the complete other side of the tub. I was freaked out but just cleaned it up and went on my way. Just stupid stuff like this ALL THE TIME. The longer I am here the more frequent these type of things happen. I just awoke from a much needed nap, and went to get some food from my fridge only everything is FROZEN because my stupid ghost changed it!!! GRRRRRRRRR How do I get rid of it?!?!?!?!

A Response on the Attacks on Lindsey Russell

My name is Lindsey Russell, and many of you may remember the whole argument that occurred a little over a month ago. Well, I've been attacked again simply due to the fact that some prominent people on this site don't agree with my point of view.

Anyway, I've been attacked as a writer. I urge anyone that finds a mistake in my articles, please let me know. I'd be very grateful. While I've been attacked several times, no one has given me specifics. Also, take a look at this Michelle Malkin Article.

My writings for Associated Content can be found at my Content Producer page.

IF anyone wants an INTELLIGENT debate, bring it on.

Lindsey

my wife hates me and she is 3 months pregnant

she does not talk to me she barks
sreams and yells
she cant stand the site of me .

she does not want me to give her any affections

i feel really hurt

does anybody got any tips out there

email at hbrechtefeld@yahoo.com

I am not safe anywhere.

Indy's favorite knock knock joke (by the GPR)

Indy: Knock knock
Sucker: Who's there?
Indy: I ate mop
Sucker: I ate mop who?
Indy: Is that so? I generally prefer girlturds (pronounced as one word) myself.

Snickers

I eat poopoo (pronounced as one word).