Anonyblog

En Regardo

That's exactly what I'm suggesting. It's because of dick functionality that you're here to begin with, and knowing that Viagra facilitates boners and therefore a future for ALL of us, including you and me, it gives me (the writer) a sense of dickfillment and, hence, incentive to write, i.e., keep the site active.

Do you speak on the contrary?

- OP, author of "Cocksuckers", the original unedited version of "Fake Faggots", and the acclaimed rhetoric "Why the new comment filter sucks monkey balls"

The Most Important Decision.

What should I wear this Saturday?

It's my 21st birthday, so of course I have to look good for all the pictures I will be taking. Naturally, there are a few issues. The main one being that I just can't decide. It's also a problem that I'm not really 100% sure what exactly I will be doing and where I will be going that day.

List of what I am probably doing on my birthday:

Going to the Boat (gambling) with my parents.
Eating a good home cooked dinner.
Getting trashed.

Options:

Wear my new red-and-white polka-dot sundress (tube top) with the matching polka-dot pumps.
Wear the really really short skort with a halter top and orange dress sandals. (HOTT)
Wear something classy like the dark jeans with the nice, low cut, light green, fancy tank top.
Blow it all and just wear my favorite hip-huggers with a tight top and my sneakers.

Things to consider:

Don't really want to wear the skort around my parents.
Wearing sandals or a dress or skirt in the evening is probably not a good idea because I'll be really drunk and I don't want everyone to see my cooter.
Fancy tank top needs to be dry cleaned if I am going to wear it.
My sneakers are looking pretty shabby and my boyfriend is not buying me the new ones until saturday.
But I still want to look hott.

Of course I could always change a few times throughout the day.
I guess the main point is that I just look forward to spending the day with the fam and the night with my boyfriend and friends and alcohol.

N

What is true love?

Letters to No One

Its kind of a strange thing for people to feel better after ranting to a computer screen or a piece of paper. But sometimes other humans just wont listen.

I'm not sure how this happened, but while I was out I ended up driving over 30 minutes out of my way, and don't remember how/why I was there. No, I do not have Alzheimer's or any psychological issues that I know of, but for some reason I felt compelled to drive that distance to do something I could have done near home.

I don't blame it on anything or anyone, I just wonder how it began. My friend attributes it to my subconscious remembering someone/something in the town I had driven to. The only things I remember that could have possibly taken me there are my ex boyfriend and an old friend who used to work in that area.

The ex is definitely out of the question, I've been going out of my way to avoid him as is. The old friend, however, may be a different story. We had been out of touch for about a year when he contacted me a few nights ago. For years I had been 'little sister' to him, although only 3 years junior. I think it was more that he used to be my older brother's best friend. But when I saw him a few nights ago...something changed. He didn't treat me as a little sister anymore...and seemed almost flirtatious. That confuses me. Not even moments before he had kissed me he had been telling me about his ex leaving him about 4 months ago, and a new love interest, even showing me photos of both.

In turn I confided in him what had happened with my ex, and how this 'on again-off again' thing between us needed to end.

And tomorrow I'm supposed to make a 3 hour drive in unknown territory on about 3 hours of sleep and my subconscious trying to figure out why I want to bed one of my childhood friends.

The Monkey Will Speak

Here is why you suck and blow OP. If you will take the trouble to look into "junk comments", you are familiar enough with movable type to know where this is aren't you? Well figure it out as you are trying to read this. When you eventually find this most elusive section (to you) of Anonyblog you will realize that spam comments about big dicks and Viagra in no way Kontribute to this blog site.

So you suggest that spam comments, those selling Viagra and over extended whores and what not,

- They add life to the site.
- They give the writers feedback, therefore a sense of fulfillment.
- They give people incentive to write, therefore keeping the site active.

You Sir or Madam are an idiot. Only YOU can give fulfillment and feedback. Only YOU can start fires. Fire! Fire! That's what Anonyblog needs to be entertaining again!

I personally need no feedback or incentive to write on this site. I do it when I feel like it or when I am inspired.

The 2007 Summer of Anonyblog, there are no winners.

We can only hope that the GPR will one day be inspired to have another awards ceremony. We can only hope that Indy the Great will deliver on his promise of a great story line.

All the college kids are gone for the summer. The site is a waste land. It is everything I can do just to read the lame material that is posted here ever so infrequently now. It is all I can do to come up with one of my ridiculous Bear compositions just to entertain my own warped mind.

Get into character and breath some life into this place! My complements to the post in he Q before his one. I know who hat is and she knows a lot. She's is handlelin some shit!

Jeeze! The Souf Dakota people are the most creative patrons on the site at the moment! Yeah! Souf Dakota. Chalz handlin shit! Thaaaaats right! His Excellency back Atcha!

"Magogo, what do you have to say about this?"

Well, Yo Excellnecy I sho nuff glad dat Yo woke me up and give me dem new batteries."

"No! No! No!", screeched the Kody. "What do you make of this?"

Hmmm....

OCs
Roxys
Tabs
Zanax
Soma
Flexoral
Seroquel
Various Muscle relaxants
Marijuana
Morphine
Cocaine
Meth
Magic Mushrooms
Ecstasy
Way too much alcohol
Pre-mo
Morning Glory seeds

Drank
Snorted
Absorbed
Huffed
Swallowed
Smoked
Toked
Lit
Inhaled
Melted
Swirled
Mixed
Sprinkled
Cut
Rolled
Wrapped
Poured

High
Stoned
Flown
Blown
Blazed
Speeding
Flying
Floating
Sleeping
Dreaming
Touching
Tweaking
Running
Sweating
Nauseaous
Dizzy
Parinoid
Confident
Easy-going
Open
Trusting
Honest
Exhausted
Asleep

Why the new comment filter sucks...

The new comment filter sucks because it blocks so far ALL comments. Comments, even "spam" comments, are necessary to this site because:

- They add life to the site.
- They give the writers feedback, therefore a sense of fulfillment.
- They give people incentive to write, therefore keeping the site active.
- A lot of the comments are damn funny, which is the PRIMARY reason I came to this site.

In conclusion, the filter not only sucks, it also blows.

Comments? Oh yeah, I forgot.....

KODY BEAR ENTERPRISES: GET YOUR MOUSE READY CAUSE I'M BIGGER THAN LIFE!

The time between actual Sodomy and the time between the offence may vary depending upon the severity of he offense. For instance, failing to address the Bear by one of his many titles, or slandering the Bear by referring to him as, "vile and disgusting", on a public forum, as in the case of Lindsey Russell, may be punishable by immediate Sodomy depending upon your geographic location and/or the Bear's involvement in global and/or Internet conflict.

Exemptions:

You may be exempt if you meet one or more of he following requirements:

A) You have been granted Klan membership since your offense

B) You have accepted the Kody as ruler of the Internet

C) You have abandoned, never recognized, Indy the Great as Ruler of the Internet

D) You acknowledge that on or about August of 2005 His Excellency Kody R Bear Kontributed to the destruction of www.bitchaboutstuff.com by exposing the Pope, in the company of His Excellency, as eating teen aged girlturds in the Papal Palace and that His Excellency kody R bear never consumed said teen aged girl turds.

E) You acknowledge that you have no creativity and nothing of any value or creativity what so ever to contribute to the Internet.

Special cases:

If you are Ricky Finklestein, MrFATMouth or Mexican Man, to avoid Instant Sodomy, you must prove through legitimate means that you are more educated and more traveled than His Excellency Kody R Bear.

Good Luck,

Magogo the Singing Dancing Macarena Monkey,

Kody Bear Enterprises

Regarding Comments

Anonyblog receives thousands of spam comments per day. In an effort to combat this, the software is set to be more aggressive to reject spam comments. This appears to have also caught some valid comments.

The backlog of valid comments have been restored and the junk comments deleted. I have been traveling recently and have not had much time to manage Anonyblog.

Thank you for your understanding.

THINK before you act

In advance, let me say I'm sorry, BUT....what kind of idiot lends her car to her boyfriend (or ANYONE, for that matter) when the car isn't even in your name? This guy sure isn't listed as a driver on grampa's insurance policy, and if he screws up and damages the car, there goes the better price on premiums, not to mention the absolute disrespect you are showing to your grandfather. And you're right; there are telephones EVERYWHERE. So why do you think he stayed out way late and didn't call? It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure that one out. Not only have you acted very, very foolishly, but you are also being quite naive. It's a shame you don't live at home so you could be grounded for such unwise behavior.

My 2 cents

Wow, that sucks... not only do you have to worry about your boyfriend, you also have to worry that your grandpa doesn't beat him (since you said he had mob connections...). I hope I'm not being a dick, but I have sympathy for you.

Anyways, today something really crazy happened. I was walking in the mall when I saw this really beautiful girl come out of a store with a pair of jeans on her shoulders. The tiny alarm went off as she walked out and since she continued on, I knew she stole them. The whole time I was looking at her and the whole time after she walked out the store she was looking at me, and we were both smiling when we were looking at each other. She laughted and so did I. I then looked back and saw that the manager of the store came out running and talked to a mall security guard about the girl, and immediately the cop went after her (the cop was about 40 feet away). I then looked back at the girl, and her friends were telling her that the cop was after her. As she picked up the pace, she turned her face to me and I swear to god or whoever is up there that at this moment time froze, I was looking at her and she was looking at me, and it was a very surreal moment, like a romantic moment, that was going on between us.
During this time I knew had to do something, I had to help her escape somehow, this was something that I was meant to do. I had to help her lose the cops. I was thinking about it when out of nowhere time regained its pace and I saw her running out of the mall with her heels on. The white cop started to run (in a very funny manner, he looked like a cartoon character, my closest description of that run would be kind of running that you would see from a preppy nerd kid in high school). And there I was, thinking about what I had to do and whether I should do it or not. I thought, this is something I have to do, and the girl was the most beautiful girl ever (I couldn't stop thinking about her smile and those slow four seconds that we were looking at each other, the connection at that moment went so deep I could feel that were meant to be together).
I thought and thought until the cop soon passed me, and my whole chance was over. I thought too much. My friend and I walked fast to see what happened, and when we got to the exit stairs, I saw that she had been caught by the stairs...she must have fell because of her heels, and apart she was heading towards the place where all the security was. As I got close I saw her, sitting down, stopped by the cops that overwhelmed her. I could have instead led her through the fire exit that directly leads to a neighborhood, where we could have hidden. I felt a sense of guilt within myself and I also felt like a life opportunity was missed right there. I could have done something yet I took too much time in reacting.

I still can't get it over my head. For some reason I can't forget about what happened.

love sick...

I miss my guy a whole lot...i want to stop thinking of him...its driving me nuts. I am trying my damned hardest to make it ok....but, it doesnt feel ok...the thoughts never stop and the feeling never ends. we decided it would be best to part ways. But, is it really?? He's been a part of my life...soul for the past 7 years and now these 7 days of not speaking to him feels like eternity. Do you think he misses me as much too??

oh shut up

Why can't you comment any more on this stupid blog? Honestly, what is the point in even keeping this site running?

What happened to comments?

I love anonyblog, oh yes I do. One thing I love about it is the discussion in the comments. But whaaaaaa...? Every time I type a comment, the screen says it is being held for approval, and then it never gets published. I suspect this is happening to other commenters as well.

Admin: What's going on?

Stupid Boy

RRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My boyfriend has my car again. And its not even in my name. My grandpa put everything in his name so that it would be cheaper for me for insurance purposes. But it just pisses me off because he said he was going to be home at 10:45 and here it is coming on midnight and theres no sign of him. No phone call. No car. No boyfriend. First off I'm worried. What if something happened? I don't want anything to happen to my boyfriend. And something were to happen to my car, I don't even want to think about how things would go with my grandpa. (BTW my grandpa isn't a normal grandpa........our family isn't very close and most of his family hates us because my mom is his illegitimate child.....also he's 100% Irish and has very close mob connections at best, god only knows if he's actually involved) SOOOOOOOOOOO........very scary situation which worries me.

Secondly, I'm pissed. In this day in age, there are phones EVERYWHERE. Even if he's working late, I at least deserve a fucking phone call to say "Hey babe, I'm going to be late." Even though when I talked to him earlier tonight he said it was dead and he would be home pretty early. Also, my boyfriend likes to smoke a little pot. But if he gets caught with that, that would go back to my grandpa as well. I'm so fucking pissed. I'm going to make him wish he was never born when he gets home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KODYBEAR

His Esteemed Excellency Eminence Kody R Bear sat in his original box in a nearly dormant state. He occasionally woke and tried to speak, tried to call out to Magogo but his battery power was dangerously low. His neck mechanism and jaw mechanism (both pronounced as two words) Bearly functioned and the blinking light in his foot was dim. It was absolutely imperative that he supply himself with fresh AA batteries. He called to the Monkey for help. But it was no use. Magogo sat in his original Macarena Monkey box with his four AA's spread out on the floor around him. "That goddamn stupid Monkey ", he thought as he slipped back into delirium. The Bear knew something was wrong. He could smell the stench that only a seasoned veteran of two tours of duty in The Great Turd War could recognize. He tried to move but fell back into a nightmarish state in which he was constantly attacked by his demons. They swirled around him like hungry deer flys. The post deleter, Mexican man, Mr. Fatmouth, and Mr. Smart guy all taunted him with their ridiculous fascist nonsense. The hideous vision of Lindsey Russell circled around him, poking and jabbing at him, saying that he wasn't paying proper attention to his cat. Hell he didn't even own a cat. She needed to get her facts straight and learn how to spell cat, he thought. Then the worst part of the nightmare began. The goddamn skeletal minia. The little bastard just wouldn't go away. It kept taunting him, stabbing at him relentlessly with it's pitch fork like thing . He growled and squealed in is dream state swatting at it in desperation until he suddenly sprang to acidic consciousness. In one final burst of power he exited the box, grabbed and installed (********** ** *** ****) Magogo's batteries. He immediately began to talk again.

"Fuckin A - Fuckin A - Fuckin - A better believe it buddy", he shouted over and over again as his sound card went through the familiar routine. Yeesss!, he thought. He must now get to a Circuit Shack and supply them both with fresh batteries. He was reborn again hard. He must re double his efforts to take over the Internet and to piss off the entire planet!

There is no place for me to sleep here and no one to take me home and nobody to talk to.

Fake Faggotsâ„¢

Are you tired of Fake Faggots? They're all over the place. People who act like they want to suck dicks or something, but really don't. People who act like they're going to do something, in somebody's ass but don't.

This manifests in all aspects of life.

People who say "Hey man, lets make a loaf of bread!", but when it comes time to actually doing something in that direction, those very people are nowhere to be found.

People who act provoking towards others around themselves, but it's really a facade as these people are never found alone and never act out on what they're baking.

There are countless other examples, but the aforementioned are two such examples I've run into lately.

I want to form a loaf of bread and make yeast and make HONEY - the best thing to come out of a bee tree.

I want to fight and experience all this violence and cause all this pain. I WANT GRATUITOUS AND WANTON VIOLENCE. OH GOD, HOW I LOVE IT! I AM SO GAY! I WANT TO BE A SUICIDE BOMBER IN THE MIDDLE EAST WHILE SUCKING DICKS AND SHOOTING ELEPHANTS IN THE GUT WITH HIGH POWERED RIFLES THAT ARE NOT CORRECTLEY SIGHTED IN!

These are traits of REAL FAGGOTS WITH RAW PENIS POWERâ„¢.

There haven't been many in history, only a handful.

Here are some examples:

Julius Caesar
Indy the Great
Alexander the Great
John Rambo
John Ritter
General Patton
General McBradley
General McBratwurst.

Are you a Fake Fagg?

I Know that I am not. I'm a real faggot.

or

Are you a REAL MAN WITH RAW FAGGOT POWER?

Lips Of A Whale-SOUF DAKOTA STYLE

A bay bay A bay bay
BUY YOU A DRANK
I like dat bar-ar-tenderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

YES! YES! EYS! SYE! ESY!SEY! YSE!

OK! SOUF DAKOTA STYLE! REPPIN SIOUX FALLS! SIOUX SIOX SIOUX SIOUX SIOUX SIOUX FALLS!!!!!CHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! An' wut it do?

PIETSZ!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their
tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Gabe, look
towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking,
it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole the tent."

Going a lil crazy..

I'm at such a loss right now..
My hubby and I have been married for two years and things are fine. There are really no complaints I can make about our marriage.. He makes everyone jealous with how affectionate and caring he is- I'll get random gifts and other tokens of appreciation, I don't have to work (and we don't have kids yet), and he takes care of anything I need.
He took off on business for a few months and I've had time to think... I don't really want to be with him any more. He's my best friend and I don't want to lose him, but I'm just not in love with him anymore. I'm afraid to death of telling him and breaking his heart.. and of losing him forever. When he calls and says I love you, I repeat it out of habit, but it's hollow. I think he's noticing it, too.
I want a separation, but have no idea how to even propose it! I don't want to hurt him, but I know that staying in a loveless marriage wouldn't do either of us any good.

INDY THE GREAT

Indy the Great sits atop a giant pile of Emma Watson's girlfeces (pronounced as one word). He has been so busy at work that he has not been able to write for Anonyblog. However, he assures all of his loyal fans that a great new story is coming soon...very soon (pronounced as one word).

Update your damn site already...

If you're going to write a blog, don't go five days without writing something. Update it already! GEES!

Stupidity?!?! U Tell Me..

i did the most stupidest thing u could possibly do regarding falling inlove...
i did the 1 thing i told myself i didnt wanna do, i tried so hard 4 it 2 not happen.. but it did..

i fell inlove with my best friend, && no its not a crush, i am inlove with him. i know i am but i dont wanna be. hes my best mate 4 gods sake, he sees me at my worst..
i dont wanna feel this way, its not right && i dunno what 2 do about it.
i wanna 4get the feelings, but its impossible..
when he looks at me i freeze, i get weak at the knees if he touches me, i have butterflies when he talks 2 me && when he walks in2 a room i can smell him.. he smells sooooo soooo good && i cant resist him, i want 2 but i cant...

WHAT DO I DO??? I CANT BE INLOVE WITH MY BEST MATE...

VACATION

Woo!! I'm soooooooooo excited!!! I'm headed off to go camping, the one and only thing I really look forward to all year long. My whole extended family and friends of the family go and party, ride motorcycles, mopeds, scooters, etc. My friend's family is bringing the Beer Buggy and Basset Hound.... Maybe I'll even get a nice tan since I will be outside for a whole week instead of being pasty white (MAYBE if I'm lucky right now I'm a tad bit tanner than "N") I just can't wait to hang out with Lizzi and be free of work (and my boss/neighbor/landlord/doctor) Leave me lots of nice comments so I have some fun things to read when I get back!

lovelovelove

-JJ-

Had an affair

I had an affair with my husbands friend. This friend is someone I have been friends with for a long time as well and have always been attracted to. The 3 of us were always together, he was our third wheel. We were all very close. I ended up getting married first and after he got married, he approached me with his feelings for me, its been going on for about 10 years. We ended up hooking up and kept an affair going for a couple of years until he moved away. Eventhough he doesn't live near me, he still continued to email and then we would email dirty pics back and forth. The chemistry we have is amazing, nothing I ever felt with my husband. What do I do. He still contacts me, we still love eachother, but we are both still married, neither of us have children, thank god. I'd like to cut him off but its hard b/c I just love keeping in touch with him and couldn't imagine not having him in my life. Does anyone else go through this, and if so what did you do. HELP.

I know I'm weak, and do not need to hear responses regarding that. Just want to find someone who can relate to what I am going thru. Any help is appreciated.