It seems that some people cannot restrain themselves from causing problems for Anonyblog, it's readers, and me.
Unfortunately I do not have unlimited time to monitor and supervise the site at the moment, so for now, there is no new posting at Anonyblog.
I will attempt to resolve the issues soon. Until then, I apologize for the disruption.
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon, in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And, don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 P.M. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ....You didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody????
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gift exchange is allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money, and executives believe $10.00 is very little for a gift. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party (the days are so short this time of year), or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet. Pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men; each gender will have their own table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food thus we suggest for those people with blood pressure problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics since the restaurant is unable to supply "no sugar" desserts.
Sorry!
Did I miss anything?
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party
People, people! Nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up ike Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween, or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey, or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up? Please?????????
Also, the company has changed their mind in announcing the special announcement at the gathering. You will get a notification in the mail, sent to your home.
Patty
****************************************************
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All #&$**@ Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The #*&^@*^Holiday Party
I have no#&*@*^ idea what the announcement is all about. What the #&^!@ do I care...? I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO GET!!!!!!!!!!!! You change your address now and your are dead!!!!!!!!!!!! No more changes of address will be allowed in my office. Try to come in and change your address, I will have you hung from the ceiling in the warehouse!!
Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your @ #$^&*! salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings, too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now !HA! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die, you hear me!!!!!!!!!!!
The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
****************************************************
FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Terri
I'm tired of this shit. I feel like I just want to quit work, stop school, and move out into the mountains. Go to a place where I can just pee in front of my shack with out having to worry that I'm going to get a fine. Maybe I'm just not meant to live the city life.
Maybe I just need a vacation.
The past year I've been depressed
when i got my hoax taken out nobody asked how i was
my friends forgot.
when it was a spirit day my t-shirt read nothing.
it was thoughtless
it was meaningless
when i was on a break with that boy
my best friend kissed him...and never told me
when i thought my other friend was on my side
she was double sided tape
when i asked what happened
nobody knew, but nothing changed anyway.
when you drove me off the deep end
it was still all my fault
when you insulted a people and wouldnt let me leave
you broke up with yourself
when i ran away to california
is was the best thing i ever did
when you kissed her
my heart exploded
when i got home
i had a handful of pills
when you came to say goodbye and she was bye your side
i wanted to kill the both of you
when i lost everybody because you had everybody
you refused to get it
when you try to see how im doing today
you're not doing me any favors.
Today. I escape that past. and one day. ill live it down.
Previous post was tampered with, so here's the original:
You are a douchebag if...
...you use the word google as a verb.
...you describe a thin panel TV as 'sexy', or want/buy one just so you can hang it on the wall. (Here's a hint: the picture sucks. The image quality of a picture tube TV is much better.)
...you text message on your cellphone while having a conversation with someone next to you.
...you talk on your cellphone inside a public building or workplace for non-emergency personal calls (with a few exceptions). More so if the public place is a restaurant, theater, or library. Even more so if you use the phone during a presentation, speech, live performance, or while checking out in a store.
...you insist on having a song as your cellphone's ringtone, and you insist on turning it up loud while in public. (Hint: it's called vibrate.)
...you are an employer who refers to your employees as "Team Members."
...you are an employer who gives your employees "gold stars" (or something similar) for meeting a goal, etc. (Here's a hint: your employees are not age 5 and in pre-school.)
...you think that thick black rimmed geek glasses are trendy, cool, or make you look smart.
...you use words like freakin, farkin', or stinkin' in place of the word fuckin'. (Here's a hint: you sound like a dork. Either say fuck or don't add any such words.)
...you are a parent who thinks the world should revolve around your kid or kids in general.
...you are a parent who thinks that sending your stupid kid to the best school district will make him/her smart, or that the kid's stupidity is your fault. (Hints: you can't fix retarded. And unless you dropped the kid on his/her head or drank while pregnant, you didn't cause it.)
...you wear slippers or pajamas in public, or wear flip-flops anyplace besides the beach/pool/lockerroom.
...you wear Crocs.
...you earn a comfortable, middle class income, but constantly bitch because you don't make more.
...you are medical professional who wears clothing with children's cartoon characters to work.
...you are a victim (or the family of a victim) of some accident/disaster/crime, and you blame people or things not directly responsible. (Examples: A shooting victim who blames TV. A mugging victim who blames the owners of the parking lot where the mugging occurred. A dog attack victim who thinks the owner of the pet license is a criminal even though said owner followed all leash laws, vaccination laws, and there was no warning as dog was never vicious or mean previously.)
...you are a victim (or family of a victim) of some accident/disaster/crime, and you try to get additional sympathy because it involved your child. (Here's a hint: a child's safety is no more important than an adult's safety.)
I live with my man anus. I haven't loved it for 2 years. how do you break up with someone you live with?
We have grown apart since we have been together. She wants a plain, boring life. I would like to have a vagina implanted on the inside of my left thigh for Christmas. I think I can bend it that far. See folks here's the problem. There is a new entity on the site. It floods the place with post like this one. It also may be the rather rude entity in the comment section as of late. I'm not willing to give in to that. She loves her corporate job, she has lost her sense of adventure. . I get hell for every little thing I do. I'm sick of being un- happy from the moment I walk in my front door to the moment I leave/get away from her. I know I'm a wimp for not breaking it off earlier. Merry Christmas Michael. Happy Holidays!
His Esteemed Eminence Exellency Kody R Bear
I'm a white, Christian. He's brown, Hindu (or, at least, his parents are Hindu, he's "spiritual" but not really "religious"). We are very much in love and have been for many years, but his parents won't accept me. They continuously guilt-trip him and tell him "there is no future with that girl"... tell him he is horrible for ruining the family name, and that they will never ever approve of us being together. And he still plays down our relationship and hides certain things and does everything he can to make them happy and avoid upsetting them. He is so afraid of them. He says ultimately they will not decide who he marries, but it seems like he will NEVER stand up to them. He will ALWAYS try to please them. Even if he did go against their wishes and marry me, I am afraid his loyalty would be split between me and his mommy and daddy. I can't imagine how difficult it is to have an unsupportive family, because mine has been great. But at the same time, I just want him to grow up. Not cut them out of his life, but just... stop letting it control his emotions so much....
I am really lonely today. I have had no one to talk to in a really long time. I just wish my so-called friends would call me back.
being proven wrong time and time again.
never thought i would make it this far.
somehow, i am glad i did.
and crying does not hurt so much these days.
which i suppose is an improvement, anyway.
I'm a 20 year old male, I go to college, I have a job, I I'm intelligent, I'm soon going to a University...
And yet I still play pokemon.
I'm trying to build an incredibly powerful team of lvl 100 water starters throughout the generations (Blastoise, Feraligatr, Swampert, Empoleon, etc.). I can already beat the original elite 4 with my lvl 100 blastoise extremely easily.
I keep checking each day for any news of either the 5th generation of pokemon games, or a remake of Gold/Silver for the Nintendo DS.
I liked the show in its very few first seasons, but it's become very bland and childish recently.
Also, what level must Ash's pikachu be at, 1000? And it got beat by a MAGIKARP recently. what the hell.
But you know what?
I'm not ever planning to stop playing the video games.
Of course, I play respectfully and at the correct times, but I don't ever plan to stop.
I'm planning on finding a girl my age who likes pokemon instead.
You Are A Douchebag If...
...you lambaste people anonymously via a blog.
more than anything, right now i just want someone to really fuck me hard
I am not a very loyal person, but it is not because I'm not sentimental. I'm actually an extremely sentimental person, I just also feel very strongly compelled to treat people fairly regardless of whether or not I know them. People seem to have a very hard time understanding or even believing that I behave the way I behave because I feel compelled to be as honest and fair to those that I am familiar with as to those that I am not familiar with. I must admit though that I am still guilty of acting on loyalty to some extent, although it is generally to a much lesser degree than that which I observe in others.
Loyalty could mean different things to different people, and maybe by some definitions, it's good. If you treat others with the same respect you would want to be treated with, then there's no need to be loyal. To me, the word loyalty describes the different kinds of culturally entrenched values, but also the feeling that we get for those that we feel close to. More specifically, loyalty is just a bogus value created to try to justify people treating each other with different sets of standards based on how well they know you or other arbitrary reasons (such as nationality or ethnicity).
On a very simple level, loyalty can be just a feeling one has for someone that is dear to you, and then there is nothing wrong with it. If faced with making a decision to support this person in something, relying on that feeling of loyalty would tend to give you some kind of a bias toward them, but it's not necessarily wrong to make a decision to help a friend, even if you don't know if they deserve that help. Making a decision based on intuition is not necessarily wrong, and it's important that I make this distinction so I can demonstrate precisely what I do take issue with.
I do argue that one can make decisions that they know are justified, but I don't advocate that one should only make decisions which they are certain about the justification of. One must make many decisions based on intuition and experience, or on just the seeming probability that it is a good decision. We're often forced to make decisions based on what seems to be the best course of action, and if you know someone well, and have faith that they are a good person, siding with them in a conflict before you know the nature of the conflict is only natural.
You wouldn't just stand there and watch someone beat the crap out of your long time good friend because you are aware that it's possible they might have a good reason for it. Taking immediate action to help your friend is probably the best course of action in this circumstance. If they had a good reason to attack your friend, they should at least understand that you had no way of knowing. Besides, not many decent seeming people are liable to do anything that warrants being assaulted.
I'm not trying to say the way we feel about long time friends should be ignored, on the contrary, our human feelings are very important. The problem with loyalty is that like many other feelings, it tends to have too much control in our minds, and clouds our decision making processes. Also, various concepts of the kind of loyalty I speak, are entrenched in human culture as morally just values, and as well in religious teachings and legal code. All of this leads to many people being programmed to be biased in various ways and to varying extents of severity.
A large part of the problem of the worst kinds of conflicts, either large or small scale ones, can be attributed to the more severe forms of loyalty. The concept of loyalty to one's nation or king or army has been a keystone in the process of convincing soldiers to fight. The stronger the sense of loyalty a population has to it's government and nation, the more likely it is to go to war for that nation. Nazism is one of the most extreme examples of rampant loyalty to a nation. As a cultural force it was so polarizing and so strong that it provided the necessary public support for what is now seen as the pinnacle of large scale unethical behavior. Yet today many people are very nationalistic and fail to see when they go beyond celebrating their cultural identity, and are often actually quite unfairly biased toward their country.
On a smaller scale too, loyalty is often a crucial motivating factor behind terrible behavior. The glue that holds organized crime together, is the sense of loyalty that is built between them. Within organized crime culture, loyalty is the most important value of all, and "rats," anybody who cooperates or sells secrets to the authorities, are considered the worst offenders there can be.
Even outside of organized crime, being a "rat" can be considered very taboo. Anyone who went to school probably noticed the tendency for children to proliferate the idea that it was wrong to be a "taddle tale" even if it was regarding something that was obviously wrong. There is a certain sense to it. From a standpoint of survival, if you see that something someone else is doing is wrong, but it doesn't even seem to indirectly affect you, then it could be quite hazardous to report them, as the person you report might then try to retaliate against you.
In personal relationships, much is done out of a sense of loyalty, regardless of whether there is any moral justification. People tend to not want to disrupt their long time friendships, and will let moral qualms they might have with their friends slide where with a mere acquaintance they would not. For instance, one might not do anything when they see their long time friend treating a girlfriend dishonestly. The friend might know that they are cheating on their girlfriend, and yet "stay out of it." In a social situation where someone discovers that someone they know is cheating on another person they know equally well, they are a lot more likely to take action because they are not biased by a stronger sense of loyalty to one party over the other.
While loyalty may stem from natural human feelings, it is not human nature that is flawed. The lack of moral discipline, or perhaps more importantly, the presence of the culturally entrenched concept that loyalty is a virtue, contributes to an unfair bias in people towards the familiar. It might be a bias toward one's own country, one's employer, a political party, a sub culture, a brand name, a religious or philosophical ideology, academic teachings, one's longtime friends and family, and to many other things.
The cultural value of loyalty is a sickness, the extent of which is usually very hard for people to appreciate, especially when this value is reinforced and often appears to be personally useful. However, on the larger scale, loyalty is just a complex way of trying to justify an unfair bias to that which is more familiar or well known to you. Loyalty is an obstruction to fair decision making, and an important factor in most of the worst kinds harmful conflicts and injustices that still perpetuate in the world today.
I really appreciate it when people treat me with respect even though they have no idea who I am, and often find that people I know well seem to appreciate my respect for them LESS because they know that I treat everybody with respect, like it's somehow less valuable because it has nothing to do with how I feel about them. People actually want someone to be biased towards them, but why should we teach people this when obviously it hurts society on the whole?
This difference in me seems to be a major part of my inability to make and keep good friends. My values just don't mesh well with culture, I'm too rational, and come off as cold and impersonal. I am really angry. For all the respect I have for people, I really don't like them much. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever meet someone who's judgment I will respect.
Everyone is so fucking biased in all sorts of different ways. Even people who complain about biases in others turn out to be in my mind unacceptably biased themselves. I know I have biases too, but I'm trying to weed them out, and I have yet to ever meet someone who seems to be on the same level of unbiased thought that I am.
I love you I love you I love you.
I fucking love you.
You mean more to me than anyone has, and I'm settling down with you. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want you to go anywhere, and I've never been this comfortable for so long with anyone. I've never seen any of the others going as far as I see you and I going.
I want you to mean everything and to have everything.
You have saved me. You have fucking saved me from everything.
You have taught me everything.
And I love you.
So so so much more than I can make you understand.
My darling, my love, my forever.
i feel like hormonal impulses drive my actions. It's not a pleasant feeling. I never know exactly what i want.
in other news, my friends call me "Little Miss State the Obvious".
I dream about being a medical emergency, endlessly. One, long, horrifying dream. I want it to happen so it will be over. So I can actually experience it, and no longer have to dream it every night.
I also dream about sucking dudes off.
Drugs... are they good or bad? I couldn't tell you. All I know is my brain is probably fucked.
Life... just passin by. I'm unemployed, but the sex is good.
Here or there, I still don't have a home.
The best part?
Being a chef.
so many bitchy and nagy posts.
Today i saw a snow flake. well ,several actually. as it is Winter in Minnesota. it was perfect and pure. Then I saw this web site, and i cried, so self centered and inward looking only.
I thought about writing a pretentious song here, but my sense of restraint got the best of me.
Instead, I would like to simply say, "LOL."
charlesklein.viewbook.com
It's the photos dammit!
I live to do photography and music, to read and write books and to give and take love. I love life and marvel at it's twists and turns. I want to feel sorry for myself and to complain but I cannot and yet I am so impatient!!! I owe five months rent on this dump in which I am living out of which I cannot wait to get since it is ruining my health (bleeding gums, developing a late kind of asthma, not to mention the cooking smells and noises from above and below and the dead people who, from time to time pop up besides my terrace).
I am addicted to stumbling, sometimes I stumble upon a website that gives me hope for the future, I wonder about the future. I wonder about right know, I feel lucky because even though it's cold I know that I can take my instrument and go and play in a corner somewhere and I'll quickly get enough to eat or to buy a bottle of wine.
I wonder about photography, why is it that I am so set on not selling out? And why do I insist on continuing the fight to stay here in this rainy little country?
I wonder about George Orwell and how he managed to predict so damn well the world in which we are living today, I wonder
I wonder
I'm going to have a shower.
You can say what you want, you can think what you want. Jesus is my all. Don't judge me until you've met Him. He is awesome. He turned my life around. No, it hasn't been a breeze since, but I will worship Him with all my heart until the day I die. I cannot wait to meet Him in heaven and sit at His feet. My Father I adore You.
Are there ANY faithful men out there who DON'T cheat on their wives, ever, in any way, no matter how boring or mundane or difficult it gets??
Is it even possible for a man to be with ONE woman and ONE woman only for his whole life?
Why do so many men cheat????? I am so so scared that my future husband will be unfaithful.
My life has become completely hopeless. I'm in my mid 20's and I can't stand my job. I have no friends because I don't know how to be social. I can't even talk to people and I'm not even sure if I want to. I've never had a girlfriend. Whenever I meet a girl I become completely obsessed and typically a "close" online relationship ensues but never develops into anything more.
I feel completely hopeless to change any of this. And the thing that makes it completely unbearable is watching other people live their lives so effortlessly. It bothers me so much that I come to resent everyone else and alienate myself even more.
These past two years have been really hard on me. My friends group got mad at me because I was having sex with my best guy friend. We weren't officially together, though it we were exclusive, but since we had no definition to our relationship they pretty much called me a whore and abandoned me. However, they still treat my guy friend the same and accept him into their group and invite him to events.
My friend has been away for a few months and is coming back next week. I miss him so much. But I have also moved on a bit while he was away like he told me to. Now however, I am not so sure I can keep moving on. All I can think about is him. I have a friend who I am going to end up dating after the holiday season if I can straighten out my head. But I don't want to get over my best friend, he knows me forward and back and can fix anything with just one look or joke. And I have begun to like being able to make out with whomever I want, and to flirt with whomever. But at the sametime I will probably ending up dating someone seriously because I hate being a lone almost as much as I dislike trusting someone enough to be in a relationship.
I hate being this confused.
And this lonely.
Next year, I'll be studying Business Administration in a top-notch university in my country but I know that isn't what I want. My true passion is Journalism and anything related to politics. However, there isn't a great faculty here and I've been advised to postpone them. Supposedly, my plan is to study here for a couple of years and then focus on Journalism abroad.
One of my biggest fears is never to accomplish this and I think it is because of my parents, who want me to inherit the family company. My father literally had no money and with effort and my mom's help, he was able of becoming an extremely successful businessman. I admire him greatly and I don't want to disappoint him by rejecting what he built with his own hands.
I'm intellectually gifted and I know I have every possible tool to succeed in any subject, but sometimes I doubt on my abilities and potential. What if my plans never come true and I'm never able of working as a journalist? Perhaps, it's even too early to ask this question. I'm 17 years old, I'm still young and I have a lot to live for, many aspects of my personality aren't even defined yet!
Truthfully, I'm genuinely excited for university. My closest friends, who know me best, will be joining me and it's not like I'll be miserable all the time. I'll finally be able of showing what I'm capable of and interacting with people like me.
I suppose everyone gets anxious about this. My life is about to start now. My graduation is on Thursday and I don't know I feel about it. Most of my friends have already cried and sobbed. I have yet to. As a matter of fact, I'm relieved it's finally ending. I hated living repressed because my school sought for similar answers and insights, which I didn't have. I know I think differently than most, that I'm not like the others, that it's very difficult to understand me.
I first questioned life at eight and I'm still doing it at seventeen. I guess that's a lifelong task.
i lost my independence when i fell in love, and now i can't be alone. what happens to me if/when this ends?
is not always that easy
is only a solution if there is a problem
The Truth
is objective
is based in perspective
Neither of These
can set you Free
since freedom is an abstract idea,
inapplicable to anything
We Are Always
subject to our small slaveries
our traditions
our cultures
our chemical needs
And our brains are the slave masters.
Even in attempting freedom, you are a slave to freedom.
Does it make any sense to you?
N
and primary among them is to swallow a hot steaming load of musky semen. Why won't you let me? I am begging you, pleading with you to let me taste your manly essence. If you loved me like you say you do, then why not give me what I need? Oh my god, I dream of the way you taste for hours each day but these dreams are always ruptured by the sound of your voice saying "stop, stop, stop." The torture is becoming too much to bear especially when even Al Roker is talking about it, taunting me with pleasures unknown! Anyway, if you had jut let me swallow then I wouldn't need to post tomorrow about the angst I feel over aborting your baby.
Yeah, I broke all the rules and yeah i lied, but i lied to make you happy and i broke the rules because i needed to be happy too so can't we just call it even and move on? You know I'm not going anywhere and neither are you so just be happy with what we have cuz we don't have anything else.
The only thing in this world you can control is yourself. You don't like your life? Change it.
Stop taking shit from yourself and make it happen.
Do it now.
I have been telling myself that I will turn in my thesis "tomorrow" for the last 16 months. It's so bad that I've fallen asleep twice while trying to read it. Everybody thinks that I'm going to get a very good grade on it. I know I may not even pass.
I'm never graduating. Oh, and I lost my job today. Now I don't have an excuse to keep dilating the graduation. And I'm going to have to ask my parents for money again. Ugh.
I waited so long to feel you and taste you and now I fear it will only make things worse. I wish you would come stay with me tonight. You're tearing me apart and I swore I'd never let you. I'm going to miss you so much.
why i did it i do not know, but i did it. all the respect i built up for years diminished in this single act that will take an eternity to put right.
the man is heartbroken, and i am much the same. why? i do not know. it was a simple thing, something easy, something small, something huge, something hard, something painful.
i truly am sorry. please, do forgive me.
I get incredibly overwhelmed when I think about school and work and the upcoming semester. Last night, driving home at 1AM on icy roads in a car that has bad brakes, I kept hoping that I would just get in some kind of accidental wreck that would take me out.
What's crazy is that I have every reason to be happy. I'm just not good at handling the things that don't seem to bother other people. What's wrong with me?
Been studying a course I never wanted to do for the last three years..... I hate it, I hate the people, I hate the lecturers and They hate me..... Its turning me into a F***ing monster!! I've lost pretty much all my friends, my girlfriend, I don't get on well with my parents and my bro (who is my twin) despises me....
looking to start something new in the future but can't seem to make up my mind, Right now I'm supposed to be studying for an exam which is in two hours but I actually just don't care, And even thinking about facing the other people in my course makes me want to scream!!!
I'm extremely intelligent, I got 2 A1's and 4 A'2s in my exams when I was 18, but I seem to just sit around and waste my brains looking at vids on youtube and occasionally going to work in between.
3 years I've wasted, over those last three years I've reclined into my safe room, hope it doesn't take 3 years more to get back on track, or was I ever ON track?? hmmm.......
Rant rant rant rant rant, I'm sure everyone has problems but I WANT TO SCREAM, I'm sick of it!!!
Any suggestions that doesn't involve killing yourself :P
I've finally gained the strength to improve my life and recognize my cognitive distortions.
And yet I am often still left with this empty feeling inside..
Its Monday Night and my world has started to spin again. As I sit here listening to song to be murdered by I think to myself how I once loved you. Do I still, will I always? I speak to you once in a full moon, or even less so these days, but Do I still feel for you? Do I still care for you. You are what i live for, breathe fore, and without you might die. I wish I could tell you how i feel. I will always love you. even until those who around you disappear. you are my forever love, and for that I love you..
starting from the beginning...
blah blah blah
I'm a loser and I blame the world
blah blah blah
Its so Gay, that it isnt agreeable to call something different, off, not the same, Gay, I mean, its kind of what the word means, just because a sexual identity stole a word, doesn't change its meaning. People are to PC, relax every one, and stop being so gay.
I can't believe I keep hooking up with people I barely know. I have protected sex every time but its still really stupid. Im afraid one day I'll test positive for god knows what. It just sucks because I wanna be young and reckless but its so dangerous now adays :(
I'm married, 30, 2 kids, mortgage, cars, 401k, cat, dog, etc. We've been together for 10years married for 5. I didn't go to college, but I busted my tail to get the career i have. Once I hit 30 I realized I never had a 20's since I spent most of it working, getting married and raising kids. Then she came a long, the Dunkin Donuts girl. She started flirting with me a year ago. Eventually I started flirting back. By the spring we exchanged contact info, then hugs behind the dumpster, making out and half a bj in the bathroom. Some days I would sit at my desk at work waiting for her to sign on to aol so we could chat. 90% of the time she wouldn't respond. When she did she would tell me about how shitty her life was. Although, sometimes it would get risque. I setup two business trips in the summer so we could have some alone time. Both times some kind of epic disaster happened in he life. Then I noticed every time i would set something up there would be a huge disaster in her life." My boyfriend hit me, my ex is missing, someone touched my daughter.....". Ok so you would think I would get the point. Well she would always suck me back in. Now she's got a boyfriend, and she still flirts, but no more touching. Unfortunately, once I got a taste I crave more. One of my employees suddenly came out of her shell and is the hottest girl in the office. She's shy but one night while I was on one of my failed business trips, I got a little tipsy and told her I was attracted to her. She said she too was attracted but wouldn't because I was married. Despite her hang ups, we flirt everyday. Hugging, chatting dirty, hanging out after work. It got pretty intense one day and we kissed. A few days ago she reaffirmed her desire to not go further. Ok, fine, it's better that way anyway. So F' it, I turned to Craigslist. Yeah that's not going to well. One lead seemed really interested until she saw my picture. I'm not ugly, but I don't have a vagina. She was a married woman looking for a lesbian relationship. I got another one who said all the right things. Yeah, she's also 55, and a lot more mature looking than I can tolerate. I have one last lead and she's 20, but with a controlling boyfriend.
I'm glad I finally told someone. I'm not proud of anything I've done, but I still find humor in how unlucky I am at being selfish.
I fell last night because I drank too much and I am on antidepressants. I don't know how or why I landed in the tub, but my knee is bruised, my chin is bruised and painful to touch, as is my forehead. I am really pissed at myself, even more so because my husband called me a negative name, classing me in with druggies. How dare he! That is not helping me one bit. Ok so fine, I won't drink. I hate myself for writing this. I hate a lot of things. I love a lot of things. I feel like a late learner in life, as though what I should have learned in my teens, I am learning now. I am supposed to start college. I am going to be a grandma and I am not even 40 yet. I am very excited and apprehensive about the future of my daughter. I feel like I can't control that. I regret like ice splinters that I chatted with strange men, accepted their flattery. I am such a fool. My house is a mess, my throat hurts from being sick, my right arm is in constant pain from overuse. I can't walk without hip and leg pain...so how am I supposed to heal?? Yet, I am a fortunate woman. I am loved. I am cared for. I am intelligent. I have so much to be happy about. Usually I am fine. Sometimes like today, I am not. I don't have close girlfriends. I need that, but I dont' know how to make it happen. Why can others make these close relationships but I struggle? Why am I afraid of other women? Gahhh. I am a mess. I wish I was poor. I wish I had to struggle for things. I wish life was simple and hard work. I hate being a whiner. I hate being inconsistent. I hate being stubborn and opinionated. I hate that I feel I must appease everyone. I hate that I don't really know who I am, as though I have lost touch with the old me. I am wretched in my relationship with my father. I can't even write the words. It frightens me too much. Why do people say I am beautiful...the beautiful one? It's like evil karma. I wish I could just go away somewhere for a long time. Just be alone. Just do what I want. God, I disgust myself.
I'm still madly in love with my ex and well she's found someone new. She's not sure if it will work and wants me to stay friends with her and says that things may change and she may learn to love me again. I talk to her more than her current boyfriend and am there for her no matter what.
We broke up because of outside influences (family) and money problems that we where having. I still love her and well I can tell she loves me, but she keeps telling me that only as a friend right now and is not sure whether or not she will ever be able to love me the same.
I'm trying to stick it out and make things work and just show her that I love her with all my heart and soul.
Am I wrong?
Truly a novel idea. Can't wait until it is finished. SauceIT
Even though things didn't work out between us, I'm still happy.
Because at least I know I can finally fall for someone again.
And that's AMAZING!
A friendly reminder from your dog.
i'm so anxious about my grandma. how can she live being brain dead? how can she drink water? how can i leave knowing I'll have to turn around and be here. when will the tears stop? i feel so sick. i just hope this doesn't mean she's a zombie.
i cant deal with zombies right now. i don't have the strength. if my grandma reanimates with a brain-hunger, i'm just going to give up. she can eat my brain. i just don't want to deal with the prospect of having to behead her or worse.
she always told me that when she died she would come back to get me. i thought it was a sick joke as a child, but now i wonder if she was truly prophetic. did she foresee that she would someday return to life as a zombie? god i hope not. i hope i'm just being paranoid. i hope it's just a bad dream.
I really can get over you, once i decided that it won't work between us. But I still have this hope. This pathetic little bit of hope. I refuse to call you. I had to make the effort the last time and I can't make you wanna keep i touch with me. I know how to get over you when the time comes, but I really wanted you to be that onw that I choose. I really did. Why are these three weeks so long?!? I need you to call me if you want me to want you. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm rambling. How long does it take cocaine to wear off. I'm such a mess.
i wish he would stop being so unsure.
i like him. ive told him that i want to spend time with him, that i want to get to know him, that i find his jokes funny, and his views on the world interesting and entertaining. i want to date him. i want to kiss him.
and yet, he's still unsure.
maybe i should just accept the fact that he's not interested.
After 8 years of unhappily ever after, I am going to have an affair. The only problem is my affair-ee is a local guy, but a damn sexy one and honestly I might just want to get caught.
Sure I could just file for divorce citing irreconcilable differences, but where is the fun in that? I never really loved my husband, I just followed the trend among my friends. I certainly didn't want to be the last one in my social circle to tie the knot. Nearly a decade later, however, most of their marriages have failed and I'm the only sucker trying to make it work. To hell with that. I'm about to let my trailer-park tendencies loose like I should have 8 years ago.
It seems like every post on here is by some sad, moaning, bitching, whining, complaining woman saying how she's in love with some asshole that doesn't love her, or she regrets having this asshole's baby, or some other stupid, petty, insipid, asinine crap about men. Build a bridge and get over it, bitch.
You do not need a man to make you happy. You just need some fucking chocolate cake and vibrator. Ask me! I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE.
You want some hard facts?
I'm a 20-something female.
I don't have a boyfriend AND I don't want one.
I'm a big beautiful woman (200+ lbs, bitches!) and I love it.
I don't care if I'm alone the rest of my life, because I'll be in good company.
I'm still a virgin, and I don't care. It's better than getting knocked up and then being compelled to run to this blog and cry about getting an abortion.
I decided men were worthless when I was 12 years old and my father, who was drunk, tried to force his hand down my pants. THAT BASTARD! FUCK HIM AND FUCK MEN!
I like girl.
She likes guy.
She marries guy.
I get pissed.
Woe is me.
End of story.
I have cheated on my boyfriend a number of times and always with the same man. This is easy because that man lives in my home city, where I visit. He is very far away from everything in my windy city. I imagined I would feel more guilty than I do, but it's hard. My current relationship has been failing since it started, and I was desperately in love with the other-man from before I even moved away.
Something about him makes my insides go all clenched up and it almost hurts. Once he spent an hour running his fingers over my lips, and I saw colors.
I have been having difficulty sleeping recently and spend the wakeful hours in bed with my boyf contemplating how to end the relationship, even for a short while. Is there such a thing as friends with benefits, where the only benefit is cuddling and fixing feelings of lonesomeness and sometimes kissing each other? If there is, I want that.
I know I sound like a complete whore. Who knows? Maybe thats the real issue. But I'm just so desperate to have everything I want in a relationship, yet I can't find any single person who can give that to me. I mean, my boyf gives me companionship. The other-man gives me orgasms and treats me like a high priced prostitute. I know he doesn't love me or even really care about me, but he is better at sex than my boyf.
Obviously I have some self-esteem issues. I don't think I'm a very pretty girl and I'm a little overweight. I've always been able to use sex to make guys happy, though. So I guess I just have to use my strengths and hopefully some day some man will come along and save me from this. Until then, I kind of feel bad for cheating but whatever.
So my ex from like years and years ago calls me. I think he forgot that he broke my heart or that I will never love someone like that again. Anyway I think a friend of his committed suicide. I told him to go kill himself. I forgot that I still hate him that much. I forgive him for it all but my rage and hate still hasn't faded.
He was the first and only boy to be so heartless to me. One night we were messing around and he looked at me and told me he would rather be with my sister. He called me fat and pathetic. I wished I could have died right there. And now look his friend is dead. Maybe that's karma.
My life is pretty okay, I guess. I just don't feel like I'm going anywhere. I want to do something risky or dangerous, something completely absurd... but I can't. So I just stay in my safe bubble instead.
I'm wasting my life.
...reveling in the knowledge that the same behavior that inspired me to duck out early has left you without a friend in the world.
...the assurance that I was the best thing that ever happened to you.
I'm not sure I can keep my job. It seems like no matter how hard I work, how much I sell, how much I neglect my own personal needs and health to make sure that everything at work is going okay, it's never enough. It is never enough.
It used to be okay to work so hard--even when I was making even less money because I worked with a positive bunch of people in an exciting field. But now, half of the staff doesn't know anything about the arts, much less interested in it. How can you sell a product if you don't know how it works or even what it is? How can you persuade other people to support it if you've never really believed in it. Only a few of us still believe in it. Well, maybe even fewer still.
To compound the problem, my coworkers seem compelled to entertain themselves with flights of sexual fancy, and I'm often left on the outside looking in. It's an allusion to my high school years--the eternal outcast with a Napoleon complex. I found the arts as an outlet for my angst, and I fell in love with the freedom. No longer was it necessary to take razor to skin as a release for the hurt. I took brush to canvas, and life somehow self-corrected. And yet, here I am, in the field I love, and the same social stratification that drove me here in the first place has now infiltrated my haven. I'm not safe anywhere.
I am just so exhausted, but I don't want to go back to working a job just for the money. I started out working this job because I loved it--not for how much it paid. But, I don't know how much longer I can keep giving of myself and getting nothing (satisfying) in return. I mean, if I'm going to just work for money, I know I can make more somewhere where I'm not pouring my entire self into it. But, will that make me happy? Will *that* even satisfy me?
Will I ever be happy?
I wish I could see the future--or maybe alternate futures, like--one future where I hang in there and keep the job and one where I leave the job and go somewhere else. I'm tired of life's utter disappointments. The Siren Song of eternal rest is overpowering.
So last night I slept with a past flame. I'm usually okay with flings, but I think the guy wants more of me than I'm willing to give him.
The true problem is that I am so selfish that I wish he wouldn't bother me with his feelings and be as hard with his feelings as I am.
I think I'm leading him on and I don't know how to stop.
I test people to see if they actually care about me. No one has ever passed the test.
I'm left wondering if it's me. I'm so lonely.
Every now and then I won't test someone, I just put utter faith in them. I don't have a whole heart anymore because of this.
I don't know what to do. No one cares.
Would someone please hug me and never let go?
I want to propose so bad but I am scared it is too soon and they will say no. I think they can do better and they will realize that. I am scared I will never be able to ask. I am scared of being alone forever. I hope they know that I would rather kill myself than live without them. I hope they know I love them.
i never could find the courage to tell my family and friends i was in love with a girl. i was afraid i would loose everyone. i didn't want to be a lesbian; i only wanted to be normal.
you were the best thing that ever happened to me. i let you get away and now you're with her. if i could turn back time i would tell everyone that you are mine forever and always.
i know i ruined it but you could have waited for me. i needed courage to tell the world. i resent the fact that you left me because i was almost ready. 5 years was over in ten minutes. you got engaged within the next 6 months. how do you think that makes me feel? i still can't tell anyone about us so i cried myself to sleep when i saw you were engaged.
you ruined my life. every person i date i compare to you and no one comes close. come home i miss you, your smell, and your love.
sometimes i wish i never would have even met you. i widh never would have seen you at the show, i wish i never would have added you on myspace, i wish i never would have met up with you at the movies. i wish i never would have fallen in love with you. I regret what we had everyday of my life. everytime i see you with your new girlfriend, i go home and cry. anytime i listen to that song you sang to me at 4 in the morning, i remember how much i loved you and how amazing our relationship was. i'm sick of crying about you, i wish i could just cut you out of my life now that we're broken up. but i know i can't. i'm too dependent on you. i hate how i still go to you when i fight with my dad or i fight with my friends. i hate how i still go to you when i can't eat or i make stupid decisions, but most of all, i hate how your still there for me.
i am SO angry at myself i could punch myself in the stomach forever and a day!
i lost almost five years of my life, this short life, this ONLY life i got..loving a sonofabitch of a heartless mofo bastard! i knew it wasn t right, i felt all the time this will end in a catastrophy and i ve purely and idiotically ignored it.
i hate him and i hate myself for being so stupid, so weak and so soft and so wrong. i can't even see no beauty in him anymore, i must have been crazy to fall for such an ugly disgusting man.
i wish i could turn back time. i wish i would have send him to hell the first time i ve met him.
i send him now: go to hell, go to hell, go to hell! i wish you die in pain.
I am a 50 year old in South Jersey, Philly area. My husband walked out on me 2 years ago. He says I spent too much money on plastic surgery, clothes, tattoos and heavy metal concerts. My kids are no companionship. My son is a loser amateur guitarist with behavioral problems. He will be a permanent basement dweller. My daughter is a professional slut that effed her way through a SC college and is back to her big-haired-Guido-loving roots in Jersey. Despite my efforts on jdate and match.com, I am miserable. My only consolation are the numerous websites that I visit. I like to make up fantasy lives. I pretend to have a life on these sites. I keep waiting for fiction to imitate life.
I am in love with someone who is constantly on the road and on tour... Adored by numbers of fans. I know that I love him. I know that he loves me.... But I don't think this will work. The more cities that are between me and him, the more space grows between us in my mind.
I can't forget him, but I can't wait forever. I want to be selfish and tell him never to tour again, but I can't be. Fuck selflessness. I want to be selfish for once.
I regret not having the abortion you asked me to have. I regret ever getting pregnant. I regret moving. I regret having sex last night. I regret everything. I should have known things were never going to be ok. I regret the last 7 and a half years. We should have never started a relationship and I should have never fallen in love with you. I'm sorry I lied, i'm sorry I could never just tell you the truth. And for that I blame none of this on you.
Why do I always seem to pick the men who are idiots?
All I want is for us to have a relationship, be together, it would just be nice to be able to say he's my boyfriend. Yet he doesn't understand this. He says I dont care. I dont make the effort to come and see him. Yet he knows how poor I am, espeially as a student studying at university. And when I am able to come home I make sure I see him as much as I can. I'd rather spend time with him than my family as I see them often, I don't see him as often as id like.
And then the whole sex thing. I have discussed this with him many times, I wont loose my virginity to someone im not with, no matter how I feel. Its what I have always said and i dont want to be a hypocrite and its what I believe. He says he understands, and then brings up the ideas of naked photos and dirty texts, and tries to make me feel guilty for not "satisfying his needs". Yet he is the one teasing himself as I have told him on many of an occasion that is just isnt going to happen, not now. And how much it annoys me and hurts sometimes because i no that he no's this stuff.
I know i should probably forget him
But i just cant
I can never seem to let go
Here I am 24 and 29 weeks along. The father and I are not a couple, but he and I live together because the last place I lived sucked and was too small to have a baby in. Him and I are supposed to have an understanding about seeing other people. We aren't supposed to until we lived apart. But I guess that means nothing to him because he was seen at work hanging on some new chick. He has a habit of cheating and I should have known that when he said it wouldn't happen and he would not see anyone else while we lived together out of respect for me. Now I see that is all bullshit. Back in the beginning of the pregnancy he kept saying "lets abort it, blah blah blah" and I said no because I do not believe in abortion if the pregnancy happens by accident. What other people do is none of my business (I am pro choice) so hopefully no one bashes me on how I felt about this... Anyway... After we had paid the deposit on the apartment and was preparing to move I discovered texts on his phone that should have told me just to say forget it but we had signed the lease and I did not want a broken lease on my rental history. He said it wouldn't happen. Now I am depressed and miserable. I'm even willing to find a new person to take my childbirth classes with and be in the delivery room. I don't even want want to be near him right now. Who knows what else he has been doing behind my back??? He wants to be occasionally affectionate while we are at home alone, and occasionally have sex.... that shit ain't going to happen now
WBOC TV WBOC-TV WBOC CHANNEL 16 Delmarva's News Leader
WBOC TV WBOC-TV WBOC CHANNEL 16 Delmarva's News Reader
Wow, type in WBOC in the search area of "sbynews.blogspot.com" , look for the comments for posts generated in early December 2008 and you will see just how many negative comment there are about WBOC.
It might have something to do with the stations view of itself. Example from the above store... Tom Draper, president and CEO of WBOC parent Draper Holdings. �When you flick the dial in this market, many times you see many stations which are very big-market stations. So to be competitive, it's important to look good. Over the years we've tried to look as good as we can, and I think we do pretty well at that.�
I get the impression of Paris Hilton� Looks good, but no brains. Channel 47 � WMDT runs rings around WBOC as far as the viewer�s ability to get �the news�.
I'm finally letting go. I'm finally moving on. The feeling is wonderful. It feels like I've come into my own. I know myself better now, so much better than I did before. The feeling is liberating. It's wonderful. I feel more like a woman now than I ever have. With time and patience, comes healing. I'm still not fully there yet. But I'm on my way. And it's great. The best Christmas gift I could give myself.
Wow, type in WBOC in the search area of "sbynews.blogspot.com" , look for the comments for posts generated in early December 2008 and you will see just how many negative comment there are about WBOC.
It might have something to do with the stations view of itself. Example from the above store... Tom Draper, president and CEO of WBOC parent Draper Holdings. “When you flick the dial in this market, many times you see many stations which are very big-market stations. So to be competitive, it's important to look good. Over the years we've tried to look as good as we can, and I think we do pretty well at that.”
I get the impression of Paris Hilton… Looks good, but no brains. Channel 47 – WMDT runs rings around WBOC as far as the viewer’s ability to get “the news”.
I can't judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in.
Charles Manson
Some guy I vaguely knew committed suicide. Everyone else is still weeping and lying to themselves about how he loved life. He obviously didn't. If he did, chances are he wouldn't have killed himself. And his girlfriend, that hopes she gave him some joy, didn't. If she had, then that's hope. Joy is thinking it can get better, he obviously didn't think it would and obviously found no joy in being with her to make him stick around. Or in his kids or the rest of his life. There was nothing worth it for him whatsoever and people are fooling themselves for some reason I can't figure out. Maybe it's just to keep away the thought that they haven't figured out how bad it would have to get before they offed themselves. He obviously figured out his limit, maybe they're afraid of theirs.
Life is pretty endless. I mean, I know you die, everyone dies. There's an end at some point. But it doesn't matter because you don't know when that end is. Even if you attempt an end, on purpose, you have no idea if you'll succeed. I hear a lot of talk about having time or not having time. Almost constantly actually. I hate it. It's annoying. It doesn't matter how much time you have. You'll never really know how much time you have, even with an AID/cancer/Parkinsons/MS diagnosis, the end isn't any closer or farther than you really realize. They could cure all that garbage tomorrow. This isn't to meant to make you want to live every moment to the fullest. Sometimes your potential really is just spritzing perfume at Macy's shoppers. Or maybe you are a brain surgeon, but you don't owe anyone that cure for Alzheimers any more than they owe it to you to hold the door open when your hands are full.
You can get things in line for dying but that doesn't mean you die when you're supposed to. The gun can misfire, you can survive a drop off the golden gate bridge, you can beat cancer, and really learn from your mistakes and start dieting and exercising. Or you can die on a treadmill in the gym in front of 30 other sweaty people. You can walk on the WALK signal and get hit by a a teenager driving while texting, or fall down the stairs and shatter your neck bones. You could choke on your birthday cake. Life has an unknown expiration date.That's the way it goes with anything. If you don't know the when, and it hasn't happened yet, it is just an assumption that it will. Nothing but a guess. So life is endless as far as we know, because not knowing when the end will be is not even knowing if there's an end. We just assume it will end at some point.
This really isn't that comforting in either case. You either want more time that you think you don't have, or wish it was just all over. Life is probably worth it for most people but not for everyone. The trick is figuring out which group you're in before the end. Unfortunately that really takes a lifetime.
Of course, now I feel terrible. But hey, it's not like I criticized him for being fat, I just wondered why he was so. Well here's the answer.
N
She's stupid. I walk into the room, and she's sitting on my boyfriend's desk. I control my rage, like a sensible person, of course... But then I ask myself;
What the %&$# was she doing?!
She knows he's mine, and then she just...?! That bitch. I'm not talking to her again, I swear. That is something that, by the code of the unwritten "duh, stop being stupid, you know this", law. Also known as COMMON SENSE.
I don't care what she was doing, but I saw what I saw and I was NOT okay with it. I don't care if you think this is overreacting, because it won't matter. She is not going to get a word out of me until she realizes how freaking angry I am with her. He is mine, and she knows that.
*She flirts with, like, every guy she comes within two feet of, by the way.
I hate her more than usual today.
~Goodnight.
I am 20, married, and with child... That sounds great doesn't it? It's not. My husband is in the military. If anyone knows anything about the military lifestyle you feel my pain. We have been married since May 24th of this year, the last time i saw him was July 12th. I found out i was pregnant July 26th. He was told that he would be able to bring me over with him by October, now I can't go be with him at all. I wanted a fairly normal marriage, i definitely wanted my husband to be around for my first pregnancy. It seems like the military has done nothing but fuck us over since he joined... Am I being selfish? I can't help but be angry and upset by the fact that he isn't here for me. Right now I need him more than I've ever needed anyone. I should just get over it because things aren't going to change but i can't, and i dont know how much longer i can do this. I can't leave him, i love him too much for that, but i can't keep living like this. I know he can't be but now he isn't even sure if he will be able to be here for the birth and I am going to hate him if he isnt there. I've done everything else by myself the least he can do is be there for the last couple of hours of my pregnancy. I know it's not his fault but I still get so fucking upset when i think about it, and i think about this shit often.
It's crazy how this whole experience is changing me. I used to be a bubbly, happy, affable, all around positive person. Now I'm really mean and hateful and miserable, I can't find anything good in anything. People piss me off for no reason, just for being around. I've been so depressed through all of this and it just keeps getting worse. The part that is killing me is the effect it's having on my husband and my relationship. It's hard enough that we don't ever see each other. We never used to fight when we were living together, or when we actually saw each other, now when we talk all we do is fight. I fucking hate this.
Shit, I was happier when i got to see him every 3 months or so, now its been 5 and it will probably be another 3, however if that doesnt work out for him then i'm not going to see him until july. The worst part about the whole thing is i know that i can be there with him and because he fucked up i'm not. I'm scared that the fact that i'm depressed all of the time is going to have a detrimental affect on my baby but i can't help it i can't find anything that will really make me happy. Being with my husband is the only thing that can help me and i know that's not going to happen. so wtf do i do?
Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was lay'in on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch...he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!
THE LEGEND OF THE ANGEL ON TOP OF THE X-MAS TREE
When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out,
heaven knows where.
More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had
hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot,
and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa.
Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you.
Where would you like me to stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
I feel like...
I don't even know how I feel
how can I put it into words
my baby is gone
no longer inside me
sucked away by a man made machine
it's gonna be ok
everyone keeps telling me this
HOW
how is this going to be ok
it died inside of me
dead for weeks before they found it
you can try again
I know I can try again
but I wanted this baby
when will I be ok again
I'm so happy anonyblog is back.
I have to have my daliy fix of anonyblog.
There is no reason to exist if there were no more anonyblog.
When I couldn't view anonyblog, I got my shotgun out and was getting ready to kill myself but I had no shotgun shells and was to depressed to go get some from the store. I stopped eating.
I can't wait to read another Kody R. Bear story. I think those Klan members rock!