I took enough antihistamines probably enough to well who knows but i do know that it's enough to make me feel fabu-fucking-delcious. new word.

I am high.
Possibly crazy, which is the reason for the high-ness.

tonight, i felt like i've lost my mind. i was talking to the cat, but she can't help me, even though I could tell she wanted to. i suspect stress is the culprit. why am i carrying everyone's secrets? i listen, but i don't ever have anyone to talk to. i was panicking i think, from loneliness.

I'm so lost. But now I feel much more relaxed, so that's better. I just wonder how much of this i could take in one night and not die. Because I like not feeling my head.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
what is wrong with me?

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This is your lucky day girl!!!
For first stop taking the pills...They wont do no good in the long run,they will make your brain melt and you will have even worse problems than you have...and if doctors says blah blah fuck them they know dipshit believe me they couldnt even find what disease ,I had for 4 years and a "charlatan" healer cured me in 1 day...to the topic.
Its perfectly normal,you arent going mad,you just have normal depression,the best thing to do would take a day or 3 off, take a whole day to cry,curse,vent all your emotions,believe me you will be feeling so good,than take a good long relaxing bath wich will cleanse your mind and body,if you will still have depression...join some clubs,gyms etc. and I highly suggest meditation,nothing is better than a clear mind!!
If that wouldnt still work,smoke some weed, I know it may sound stupid, but weed is the best antidepresant and all that addiction stuff...bullshit I know people who stopped smoking weed anyday,no aftermath effects, nothing some even had only positive effects wich is interesting, but be sure it doesnt contain any other drug shit so it will be addictive and you may get psychical addiction...only at your own risk!!! Next step is to find harmony in your life, be yourself again, it will be hard, but you will be only stronger, you cant fight it, you can only acknowledge it,this will take alot of time...and for fucks sake its just one guy there are plenty of better guys out there and from what I read he sounds like a pussy,if he really loved you he would stay loyal,because real men are 99% loyal to their beliefs and loved ones,at least you see how he loved you, sea is full of fish so catch one! It will be hard to understand this again, only time will heal those wounds...dont hate them,it will only give them more power, forgive them, they are only humans and they do make mistakes and mainly forgive yourself you are afterall a human you did your best but things are meant this way for a reason and in the long run this reason is better,when you will really forgive yourself you will feel the freedom and be prepared to love the world again wich is so awesome! Take this experience learn from it and go on, life is full of obstacles, but dont fight them, question yourself or them why they are there...maybe you dont believe in karma, but if that really happened than you got what deserved, but be happy you are now stronger and thats what it counts for!!! Put on the brand new smile!!!